Don't know how to name this

[Ezio]

Hello brothers!

I would want to know your opinion/advice on something, if you have time to answer me.

This is my situation:

I went to University this year and there i met a girl who is in the same class with me.

On her i decided to use the low key, james bondy, mysterious guy style.
I think that it worked pretty well so far. It has gone over three months since i met her and i still couldn't invite her out. Mostly my conversations with her have been like a fast chit-chat because the logistics weren't always on my favour and because of this i have not allowed her to get deep in the conversation with me or to let her know me that much. I think this is driving crazy her curiosity and maybe adding plus positive points for me. It is like i talk to her one day like she is a friend or somebody i have communication with but the other day i ignore her completely, not even greetimg or saying hi to her.
So after being warm , the next day i pretend like i dont know her. One time i went too far and she went cold and aloof, i thought i lost her, but lately she has been showing interest.

This ignorance by me is also caused of my anxiety of messing anything up, if in an interaction with her i fail and the words would spread.
I am a beginner at seduction and i have many fails under my belt so far and i dont wanna risk getting a loser reputation between girls , considering that i live in a small city, and im not in a position to get any more embarrasing rejection.
Untill now i ve tried to invite her to come with me, indirectly.
There were was her with her colleague female friends and i said : "who wants to come with me at the market?" - none responded and this girl then said smiling: "oh go away, who would come that far?!. "
To be honest i expected she would say "I want to come!"

Now i am in a need of a smart re-opener, script, idea so i could express my interest and invite her out in a non-effort , no needy and clingy way.
Because i cant go from playing the cool guy to the one who is asking her out, out of blue. I am not afraid of the rejection that much , i just want the rejection (if it happens) to look like a no big deal- because i don't want that to hurt my reputation. To add some information, this girl knows some people of my social circle.

I hope i was clear, if not, please feel free to ask for any clarification.

Looking forward to your responses!

 

[Smith]

Ezio,

I think that it worked pretty well so far. It has gone over three months since i met her and i still couldn't invite her out.

3 months is way too long if you still couldn't invite her out. I think you're too indirect. Chances are you're in the orbiter zone. Even James Bond will show subtle intent and his conversation will have sexual undertone.

Untill now i ve tried to invite her to come with me, indirectly.
There were was her with her colleague female friends and i said : "who wants to come with me at the market?" - none responded and this girl then said smiling: "oh go away, who would come that far?!. "
To be honest i expected she would say "I want to come!"

ask her to get coffee/drink during the high point of a conversation. It's really not that big of a deal if she says no, and no it won't ruin your reputation. The girl will respect you more if you show your sexual intent.

Good luck

 

[Drck]

Hi Ezio,

* "It has gone over three months since i met her and i still couldn't invite her out"
>>>> Chase has a great article on the main site, it is called something like "attraction has expiration date". Definitely good read

* "It is like i talk to her one day like she is a friend or somebody i have communication with but the other day i ignore her completely... So after being warm , the next day i pretend like i dont know her...."
>>>> This is usually called playing hot and cold. Very simple yet powerful technique. Be careful though, girls master this technique as well, and they are usually much better than guys.

* "This ignorance by me is also caused of my anxiety of messing anything up, if in an interaction with her i fail and the words would spread"
>>>> I wouldn't worry about the failure. You tried, you did your best, and is is OK if it doesn't work out with that girl, no big deal. Focus on Abundance Mentality (another great article on main site) and keep trying regardless of failures

* "i dont wanna risk getting a loser reputation between girls , considering that i live in a small city, and im not in a position to get any more embarrasing rejection"
>>>> You are afraid of failures and embarrasing rejections, and that is much bigger difficulty at this time than losing repution among girls. This fear of failure is causing you high anxiety, which in turn will make you mess things up, or you will simply stop trying, which is even worse.
There are actually couple ways that girls can see your reputation:

1. This guy is afraid of losing his reputation and afraid of embarrassing rejection, so he doesn't even try to invite one girl out. He gave up before he even tried.
2. This guy is bold and persistent, and he keeps inviting girls out, regardless of possible rejections. He never gives up and he moves forward even when being rejected.

With which guy do you think the girls want to be with?

* "Now i am in a need of a smart re-opener, script, idea so i could express my interest and invite her out in a non-effort , no needy and clingy way"
>>>> Unfortunatelly there are no smart re-openners, scripts of ideas. You may capture her interest for a short time with using some smart opener, but the reality is that she either likes you enough (to go for a date) or not enough. She will decide based on her feelings towards you, and those can't really be fooled by any witty openers or scripts. On the other hand, you can increase your attraction greatly by (1) improving your fundamentals and by (2) pushing for fast actions that lead to physical contact and eventually sex.

* "Because i cant go from playing the cool guy to the one who is asking her out, out of blue"
>>>> Yes you can. The sooner the better. This would be an example of great action. You can ask her out and remain cool guy at the same time. Be like James Bond, don't fool around and simply ask her out. You can ask her e.g. during some high point of conversation as Smith suggested above.

Hope it helps!

 

[ray_zorse]

Yeah. Good responses already, I would take note.

About the hot and cold that's not really my style, also I would be wary of assuming that it's making her hot for you. Really you can't know what she is thinking -- could be she feels hurt and rejected, like second choice -- you only hang with her when your other friends don't have time for you -- or she could be (correctly) detecting a shyness or an awkwardness...

I would focus on being more warm and genuine to her... it's a bit tricky if you don't have her number and only see her in a social or class setting so you have to be a bit of an opportunist but here is how I would tackle it... firstly, read the articles on compliance and see how much compliance you can get off this woman. Talk to her before class, compliment her appearance, try to recapture some of the good feelings, tell her to come with you, tell her where to sit, have her mind your notes while you go to the bathroom, ask to see her jewellery etc... if she's dtf she'll do these things for you. Move her to a quiet spot (private so you won't be overheard) and ask her out, but not as a big deal... don't do this which I did on Wednesday, felt like a noob, was having an off day

Me: so [her name]... I'm really enjoying talking to you and I would like to know more about you (breaks eye contact like a noob)... there's a coffee shop in [her suburb] which I really like... [name of the coffee shop which is famous so its a bit of a cliche really]... we can meet there?
Her: oh... [name of the coffee shop] (dismissively)
(there's a minor distraction and she uses it as an excuse not to respond as she's Asian and polite)
Me: (realizes I've fucked up, returns to deep diving, asks her again later but in a similarly clumsy way, not my day haha)

Right way:

You: join me for a coffee this week
Her: oh..er, okay
You: when's good for you?
(sets up logistics, a bit at at a time)

Hope that helps, attraction's probably expired but it's still good for you to burn it down, for practice and to help u move on.

-Ray

 

[Ezio]

I have been waiting to see her live and apply your advices but it hasn't been possible because i have not seen her since i posted this post due to the first school semester ending. And it won't start for 1 month or 2.

And something happened that changed the situation a bit. I was looking at her facebook profile and accidentally added her as a friend on facebook.
I was not adding her till now, because i didn't want to show any signs of chasing or investment by doing an inoccent act in surface, the act of adding her as a friend.
I don't know about your countries but here at where i live, being the first to add somebody or a girl in facebook as a friend, is a way of showing interest and putting the other person on a pedestal. Therefore, maybe i am exaggerating, but i think this has damaged my game towards her a little bit.

My question now is, considering that i won't be able to see her for 1 month or two, how do i take it from here? How do i pull the deal through facebook?

My recent conversation with her on facebook after she accepted my friend request(she accepted it after 5 minutes and i texted her after 5 minutes) was this:

Me: " Hey if you have the pdf book of this subject, send it to me, because i laze to search for it in the class facebook group." (Trying to cover my mistake of accidentally sending her the friend request)

She (Responding after 12 hours): "Yes but if it is okay when i go home because i am not home at the moment."

Me(Responding after 4-5 hours): "Ok"

She( Responding after a day): " book.pdf"
------------
That was the conversation i had with her. How do i take it from here? - because Facebook is a place where girls can easily outgame you, and it is a form of interaction where you should be twice more careful.

Regarding to seeing her live, i will try to apply your advices as best as i can.
Yeah it has been 3 months and i know i fucked it up, but i don't think i am in the orbiter zone yet, Smith.
As Ray said, maybe the attraction probably expired but i wanna burn it down for the sake of practicing.
As to the reputation, you are right Drck, i will try to do what you said, but it is still a pain to me. Lately i found out that she knows even some members of my close family.

But for now, how do i take it on facebook? - any conversation script, technique or something like that - i just don't want come across as needy or chasing, i have never been good on facebook gaming.

P.S

Thanks for your detailed responses and genuine help, i really appreciate it!

 

[Ezio]

This is somehow an urgency.

A fast response would be truly appreciated.

Thanks guys!

 

[Ezio]

Update

After her last message: " book.pdf" - i went like this:

Her: "book.pdf"

Me: "Thank you. Are you learning something?"

Her: -Seen- (It means my message was seen but she did not respond)
-----------

Here again, social networks, especially Facebook, puts girls on pedestals, and whatever game you were doing in real life, Facebook can destroy it in a blink.

So i think she is not responding because of these reasons:

1. She is counter-gaming my real life game that i used towards her.

2. She never was interested in me.

3. She wants to make me chase and get needy.

4. She is so interested and she is worried that could screw things up.

5. Attraction expired.

6. It is all my imagination.

 

[luego]

You are in a hopeless chase situation. You're panicking over a non-reply to an unimportant fb message about an unimportant topic. Because she's "THE MOST AMAZING GIRL EVER" (she's not. Relax).

If you're not going to see her in a month or 2, and are insistent on not waiting that long, pick up the phone and call her. Be fun, and lighthearted, but sincere. I'd not use facebook - use her phone. I'd prefer voice over text. 20 seconds of small-talk, then a coffee/drinks invite. You've already made 2 tries, and she's not making it easy on you, so she's probably not interested, but you haven't actually had her say no yet (even in a polite way). Use Ray's advice - it'll put her to a decision-point.

 

[Seer]

Gonna agree with the guys here saying you should take action. 3 months is already pretty long, and past the cutting point in Chase's article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/i-don’t-chase-em-i-replace-em

Wouldn't be a bad idea to cut contact with this one and move on to the next girl because she may already think you're chasing.

-Seer

 

[Ezio]

Thank you a lot guys! I got the point.
Now consider this case closed, i won't post about it anymore, only if i get the girl- but anyway i will take your advices and probably move on.

Thanks again to all of you for your contribution!

 

[Drck]

Agree with Luego, IMO your are reading too much into it, over-analyzing... You invested emotionally in this girl, it is obvious that you like her and constantly thinking about her... You are too anxious about her noticing you, so you added her as a FB friend. It doesn't really matter that you sent her a request or not, showing an interest in girl is nothing bad. What matters is how you look at it...


You are trying to 'game her'. The reality appears to be that she is not that interested in you, she is not hot about replying to you... She doesn't consider the FB issue as important at all...

Some answers (IMO):

1. She is counter-gaming my real life game... >>>> you are reading too much into her actions, IMO she simply doesn't care

2. She never was interested in me >>>> Maybe she was, who really knows, but it seems that the attraction expired

3. She wants to make me chase and get needy >>>> IMO she is not interested and she doesn't want you to get hurt (unless she is a bitch). So girls just make excuses, flake, don't answer texts or take their time - while hoping the the guy gets it...

6. It is my imagination >>>> LOL. We basically have no idea what girls think, unless there is persistent compliance from that particular girl showing that she is really interested. So the best way is to Assume Attraction (so imagination that she likes you a lot is actually good) and at the same time don't chase. This way she knows that you are interested but at the same time you are not needy...


I would probably "let go" of this girl, stop contacting her, stop thinking about her, simply forget her and focus on another girls. Maybe you'll meet her in couple of months again, and if there are good vibes I would invite her for a date right away...

Sometimes it works and sometimes not. It is as if you planted a seed - you put it in the ground, pour some water on it, and then you forget about it. Come back couple months later and who knows, maybe something good grew up from that little thing, without you moving a finger. All that is required is time, patience....

 

[Ezio]

Thanks a lot Drck for your detailed response! I ll strive to put every of your words in use.