Don't Make Getting Girls a Focus of Your Life

[Guest0291]

Seeing a large amount of men on this board putting too much emphasis on getting girls/laid. Some are just trying to end involuntary celibacy, which I think we can agree is objectively fine. It's the ones wanting to become a "master seducer," or others who are relating their ability to get girls to their ability to have a fulfilling life/be a better man/leave a legacy behind. That's all well and good... except life just doesn't work that way.

TL;DR: getting laid a lot has little relation to how fulfilling your life is or your impact on the world, it's unwise to inflate "seducing girls" into "being a better man" or some variation of that concept. Very few people will care about your skills with women, and being a master seducer does not have a huge carryover to success in other areas. Let alone happiness for that matter, but that is more subjective.

Look through history at men who we remember, Beethoven, da Vinci, Newton. All accomplished in their respective fields, all historically having little success with women. These men spent more of their time on building a skill then chasing after pussy. Other men, like JFK, fucked tons and also accomplished a lot. Although, for him it was quite easy. But between these, and likely many more historical figures, there is no strong correlation between getting laid and living a fulfilling life or making an impact. What does though is being good at something more productive.

Now don't get me wrong, having good sex or an amazing relationship is one of the best things life has to offer. But spending hours upon hours chasing after women, reading about it, practicing talking to women, wanting to become a "master seducer," inflating the importance of getting laid regularly, or somehow thinking it's making you a better man who'll have a better chance at success in other areas just because you're successful in your sex life is just crazy. A man who spends the majority of 3 years at attempting to fuck women and laying 100 of them has nothing on a guy who spent 3 years on his business or a sport or art. Hell, if the latter guy gets rich, he could go full Dan Bilzerian if he wanted.

By all means, feel free to get laid and get out of involuntary celibacy. For a lot of guys, it's a phase to want to fuck every babe in a 20 mile radius. But don't sink so much time or put so much importance on it. After a few years, are you really going to be happy you spent so much time trying to increase a lay count that in the end only you really care about, over something else that could have had more of an impact for you?

Food for thought.

 

[Lover]

Agree with you all the way. I think Alek said it best in some of his articles: you don't need to know anymore than the basics of seduction to get laid. This can't be any closer to the truth.

However, I believe people need this obsession to get their women-lives handled if they are currently bitter, virgins, or have few "lucky" lays, and lack an understanding of how the world, women, society etc. works. Sites like GC offer a way of rewiring your whole belief system to make you a better a man that way. Obsessing over how you can seduce women? That is just one of the first milestone to become a better man.

And of course, people change. You can tell a guy today that "Doing X won't help you acheive Y!", but he has to experience things himself to realize you're right. Once that has happened, he takes things a step further.

Didn't you experience such things when you were starting out?

 

[Average]

Indeed. I once met a teacher who told me about the four spheres of life (or something like that). In no particular order, they are:

1. Health.
2. Spirit
3. Wealth
4. Relationship

It is said that we as people shall achieve perfect overall happiness if we balance out all 4 of these factors in our lives, and that the reason why we end up ageing with negativity and regret is because we obsess over one of these spheres (let's say wealth) and only get back to the other spheres when we see them lacking (so you chase after money so hard that you neglect your relationships formed and once they leave you, its only then that you start giving them attention because now you're lonely).

So we shift our obsession

We end up neglecting the thing we started off obsessing over (you skip work to mend broken relationships) and then the original obsession turns to dust (you're fired).

And so seeing the poor remains of the once strong sphere of yours, you obsess over it again (you're a workaholic again and the fixed relationships are in danger again) and the cycle begins all over again.

In my example, I only used 2 spheres. Imagine how devastating the effects will be spread across all 4 of those spheres.

That is why when you grow, it is important you grow as an entire person. Rather than supercharging one aspect of yourself and allowing the rest of you to wither away. The growth may end up being slow....but that is truly the only way for you to have it all in the long run. To have the best of both worlds, you must evolve them both simultaneously.

 

[Ree]

I totally disagree with you....I think getting a physically perfect woman is more important than anything else a man can achieve...genes are immortal.....get a retarded woman with a hunchback....And a million years from now your ancestors will pay the price.......get a physically perfect woman...and a million years from now your ancestors will reap the reward

 

[Guest0291]

@a-jay

Fair point overall for sure.

However, I believe people need this obsession to get their women-lives handled if they are currently bitter, virgins, or have few "lucky" lays, and lack an understanding of how the world, women, society etc. works.

I agree here. That's kind of what I meant when I said I get it for guys just trying to end involuntary celibacy. I think we're on the same page there. Nothing wrong with a guy going "I'd like to experience that, I'm going to learn to."

It's the ones making it this grand ordeal or inflating just getting laid or dating into some grand mission that they are expecting to have a big payoff with. Or it's the ones sinking so many hours, even years sometimes, into chasing girls or reading about them. Ones obsessed with improvement beyond what is necessary, going "I get laid from my social circle easily, but now I'm not improving! I need to up my daygame, 1000 approaches this month!" or "Now I want to learn to pickup women after insulting them first. That'll really round out my skills." What grander benefit is one getting from this?

Yet there are sports stars like Steph Curry who sunk their time into basketball instead and have much more to show for it. Or for more humbled people, there are people that got so good at graphic design, like Olly Moss, they now have video games and TV shows that rely on his style. How cool is that?

So that's more who I'm looking at here, although I think you already said you agreed with that, so I'm just babbling.

And of course, people change. You can tell a guy today that "Doing X won't help you acheive Y!", but he has to experience things himself to realize you're right. Once that has happened, he takes things a step further. Didn't you experience such things when you were starting out?

Strong truth here for sure. Personally, I kept my chasing girls thing more to myself, so didn't have anyone criticizing my goal and would have liked to have had that.

 

[Guest0291]

@Ree

I think getting a physically perfect woman is more important than anything else a man can achieve...genes are immortal

Yet, many of the people that actually did something with their lives are physically imperfect. In some cases, they are even historically immortal and will be remembered forever. Stephen Hawking being a prime example. How do they fit into your view?

get a physically perfect woman...and a million years from now your ancestors will reap the reward

No guarantee of that.

And what if your kids or their kids get fat and marry someone fat? What if your kid is autistic? What if your kids decide not to have kids? What if your son or daughter gets caught in a fire and burns their face off to the point and can't find a significant other? Not enough guarantees in life to depend on the kind of thinking you laid out.

 

[Guest0291]

@Ash

Agree with you here. Even if others were to say there is no such thing as a spirit, it's kind of missing the point. Balance. Yeah, sometimes it's okay to emphasize one more than the other, it depends on what's going on, it's just in the grand scheme of things if one is severely faulting in a sphere one's probably going to notice it and it probably won't feel too good.

People are welcome to live their lives the way they want, but I'd agree that your point seems like one of the more beneficial ways to go about things.

 

[Lover]

Traceur, maybe I misunderstood you on a couple of notes

It's the ones making it this grand ordeal or inflating just getting laid or dating into some grand mission that they are expecting to have a big payoff with. Or it's the ones sinking so many hours, even years sometimes, into chasing girls or reading about them. Ones obsessed with improvement beyond what is necessary, going "I get laid from my social circle easily, but now I'm not improving! I need to up my daygame, 1000 approaches this month!" or "Now I want to learn to pickup women after insulting them first. That'll really round out my skills." What grander benefit is one getting from this?

Unless he's making a living by being an author for GC, he's not really achieving anything - besides increasing his odds of meeting new women and perhaps get in bed with some of them (and nothing wrong with that!). I don't even think it's that bad to go to such extremes like doing hundreds of approaches in a month if it works within one's schedule, and he has other life goals too. And who knows, maybe he's a very high sex drive kind of guy and think that social circle and online dating are overrated?

But yeah, if he's obsessed with seduction beyond necessary and even measuring his success in life by his ability to sleep with women, that's overdoing things for my taste too. I'm thinking that maybe these guys don't know any other way to measure success in life in their current state? When I was a teen, I remember that guys used to brag about hooking up with women. Even back then, I didn't understand it. Why the need to brag about the women you hooked up with? I thought that if I did that myself, I would look pretty insecure to others. Girls are a good side hobby, but never your main hobby

But we all got to start somewhere

 

[Guest0291]

a-jay, that's a fair point here man.

I personally don't believe going out and doing 100s of approaches is a good use of time or the best way to get laid, but you are right, if a guy gets his rocks off that way, it works him, and he's all good, then he doesn't need advice to change that, he's solid with his decision making. Dude can make his own choices.

I also agree on your last paragraph. And yeah we gotta start somewhere, true.

So yeah, I guess I'm just laying it out there and examining things for those that are curious about people who think getting girls is not a great overarching goal. It might help some guys. Or not.

 

[Richard]

Several points to agree with and disagree with, here.

Getting girls should absolutely not be your long-term focus for the exact reasons that were mentioned. My recent post on my existential outlook reflects that very idea perfectly. However, I think that when you want to get laid but can't then it needs to be a short-term focus until you become competent. Focusing on your fulfilling goals is perfectly fine but if your sex life/romantic life is out of whack then that carries it's own set of problems. After you're competent with women, though, it really becomes a battle of balancing your goals with women; I've talked to Chase (and some of my mentors) about that very notion a handful of times.

Really, Traceur, the only thing I disagree with you on is your idea that practicing seduction will not benefit you or give you an edge over somebody who put their time into something like a sport or art, etc. In both cases you're fine tuning a skill that really only gives you an advantage when it comes to that skill - a guy who spent 3 years playing baseball won't suddenly be an awesome connect 4 player, it will only give him an edge playing baseball. However, the skill of "seduction" is more applicable across multiple fields; advertising is essentially seduction, business is essentially seduction, person-by-person interactions have seduction in them.

It's funny that you're taking on "Do what's fulfilling" mentality while saying that investing your time in sports/art is better than investing your time in seduction. It's a huge contradiction to make and you're in no position to determine how beneficial or how much of a time-waste something is for anybody. In your opinion, it's a waste of time to learn to seduce (lay count increase) but it's not a fact by any means. Be careful how you approach this topic, bro.

-Richard

 

[Johnnybbad]

Well im new here, I believe i somehow have fallen into this trap, somebody here mentioned how da vinci and others personages of world history own their success to the fact that they spent time developing a skill instead of chassing girls. My problem is, well, girls have become snowflakes. I mean, i worked out, I considered myself well read, speak three languages, i am in pretty decent shape, but i cant still get a girl who i really like to start up a family. What is your recommendation? Also if you could give advice in a particular problem id be very grateful. I met a girl who is really "my type" like a month ago, I fucked her the first night i met her, so I thoight i had her (seems like a big mystake) she told me we should continue to hang out. I went out with here once and a female friend (many people including her believed she is my ex, dont know why) so my female friend pretty much fuck my night with her. I saw her other day to have some dinner. Everything seemed to be going fine, i was in my things and i text her from time to time. Now, two weeks ago I text her and she did not reply, I dialed her and none, last week i tried it too but it did not work. That girl is the reason why i ended up here, when did it go wrong? I started the Chase mini course and he said that many times when a man likes a girl he will try to play safe, i think to a certain extent that happened to me. So what is your recommendation? If there anything that can be done? thanks nice day

 

[Smurf]

I want to keep this somewhat short.

I agree, no one should focus 100% on game. That's stupid, I've done it before and it gives off a really weird vibe. However, I give advice assuming that people will filter it and make it fit their schedule. I'm not asking people to put everything down and "pimp bitches 24/7" - unless you want to - I'm going in assuming that the individual knows how to manage their time and make things fit.

Also, like Richard said, game isn't just the skill of getting girls. There's so many other benefits that come with it if you get good. If you're a good seducer, there's a good chance you also have a lot of friends, can make connections quickly, and are all around a well liked and respected individual. Those things go a long way when you want to apply for a job, get a promotion, join an elite social circle, etc.

It shouldn't be your main focus, usually. There are outliers who make it work in a monetary and lifestyle standpoint, but let's assume we're not going for all that. It should be something you spend time on, just like your passion, your health, and your relationships with friends.

One more thing: I've known people who have had plenty of success with their passion, health, etc. But struggle when it comes to girls and it fucks them up. It is an important aspect, and can attribute to happiness. It is subjective. Some people have plenty of sex and aren't happy. I believe that's more of a balance issue than an obsession with game issue, though.

Good post, balance is important.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Well, the site is called Girlschase and no one really comes to sites like this unless they want help in regards to getting laid. Lets stop glamorizing guys who died virgins and didn't live successful sex lives, it's just not something I think is in the principles of this board.

That being said, I agree on one thing, being a PUA or "master seducer" is pathetic.

IMO, guys read too much into this shit. All of this approaching her at a certain angle, it's garbage.

Most guys who get laid, most of the times, are bringing something to the table or doing so by having some value. The issue is, having value that helps you get laid.

Looking good, being in the fun part of town, knowing where the party is, and that sort of stuff is having value that helps you get laid. Being a workaholic that codes isn't exactly having that sort of a value.

What guys can benefit from is truly designing a life true to themselves that helps them get laid instead of being some sleazy pickup artist.

 

[Hue]

Traceur,

I agree with what most other dudes have posted on here already. Balance is mad important, skills in seduction cross over to other fields, and there's plenty of people that specialize hardcore in what you're calling a more fulfilling field that don't get laid, which garners psychological issues.

The only thing I feel like adding, you said:

For a lot of guys, it's a phase to want to fuck every babe in a 20 mile radius. But don't sink so much time or put so much importance on it. After a few years, are you really going to be happy you spent so much time trying to increase a lay count that in the end only you really care about, over something else that could have had more of an impact for you?

In my own experience, I think the image of a master seducer wannabe, is more a phase than it is something that defines the individual. One of the things talked about on GC is how polarization is necessary to balance out. To some guys, doing 1000 approaches this week might be the heavy polarization they need to get themselves over AA, for example. There's also those that don't learn/internalize as quickly and might need such extremes before realizing shit that will benefit them.

I think it's good you posted about the idea though, it brings potential to wake up some of the people currently in the midst of that side of growth.

Hueman

 

[Guest0291]

I'm replying to everyone in one post, tried to break it up so it's easier to read. I can't reply to every point without it being too long, so if I did not get to a point you think I should recognize, feel free to bring it up again and I'll be happy to talk about it. Not trying to ignore anyone here.


@Hueman

In my own experience, I think the image of a master seducer wannabe, is more a phase than it is something that defines the individual. One of the things talked about on GC is how polarization is necessary to balance out. To some guys, doing 1000 approaches this week might be the heavy polarization they need to get themselves over AA, for example. There's also those that don't learn/internalize as quickly and might need such extremes before realizing shit that will benefit them.

Agree on the first part. I think the latter part is a massively counterproductive strategy, but to each their own. As for polarization and approach anxiety, I have thoughts on that as well, although I'm not saying you're incorrect in your statement.

Also, if it is just a phase, then the question is how long will such a phase last for someone before the end of it? And how will they feel about how much time was spent in it?


@Oh Pry

Well, the site is called Girlschase and no one really comes to sites like this unless they want help in regards to getting laid. Lets stop glamorizing guys who died virgins and didn't live successful sex lives, it's just not something I think is in the principles of this board.

1. I don't care if what I say is inline with the principles of the board. Not hurting anybody here.
2. Reread my post. Never said there's a problem with wanting to get laid or taking active steps to get laid. Feel free to point out where I did. This is offering a different viewpoint on it for guys who inflate such a goal or continue to dump massive amounts of time and energy into it.

That being said, I agree on one thing, being a PUA or "master seducer" is pathetic. IMO, guys read too much into this shit. All of this approaching her at a certain angle, it's garbage. Most guys who get laid, most of the times, are bringing something to the table or doing so by having some value. The issue is, having value that helps you get laid.

Strong agree here.

Looking good, being in the fun part of town, knowing where the party is, and that sort of stuff is having value that helps you get laid. Being a workaholic that codes isn't exactly having that sort of a value.

Agree on first part, disagree on second. I know plenty programmers who lift weights and party, not to mention they have the money to do so. If anything I think programmers have an advantage in jumpstarting their sex lives and acquiring that "value" you mention because of their promising career, all they need is a bit of guidance of how to use it to their advantage. Unless you think a sexless guy working minimum wage is going to have an easier time than a sexless programmer making good figures.

What guys can benefit from is truly designing a life true to themselves that helps them get laid instead of being some sleazy pickup artist.

I agree.


@Jake D I agree with most parts of your post, and your words boil down most of what I'm saying.

I agree, no one should focus 100% on game. That's stupid, I've done it before and it gives off a really weird vibe. However, I give advice assuming that people will filter it and make it fit their schedule. I'm not asking people to put everything down and "pimp bitches 24/7" - unless you want to - I'm going in assuming that the individual knows how to manage their time and make things fit.

We agree here, although I'm coming from the place of noticing guys on the boards not doing what you suggest and not fitting it into their lives like you stated. Not to mention, there are posters, including "tribal elders," that definitely do advise and ask people to put everything down and invest most of their time into this. Not everyone follows their advice on that, but there are some that do, and maybe even more that haven't signed up on the boards. I'm not going to state any names because I don't want to put people on blast, although I have some links to reference for this point. I'm questioning such behavior and such advice.

Noting right here though I'm not hating on Girlschase. There is some good advice here. But I'm not going to just blindly support things or refuse to question them, no matter who is saying it.


@Johnnybbad

If you want, I can PM you my recommendation, it's not exactly long but takes up too much space here and it might throw the thread off topic.



@Richard Few things here.

My recent post on my existential outlook reflects that very idea perfectly. However, I think that when you want to get laid but can't then it needs to be a short-term focus until you become competent.

We agree here, and I have stated such already. If a guy is just wanting to get out of involuntary celibacy, I don't see a problem. This is about the guys who inflate the importance of such a goal, inflate the net effect of such a goal, or otherwise sink massive amounts of time into it. It's a question of balance.

Furthermore, people can misunderstand what it means to make it a "short-term" focus, just look at the guys at GoodLookingLoser who think they can throw massive amounts of time and value into getting laid while in their 20s and expect life to be peachy when in their 30s, even though they didn't build their life in their 20s to be successful later on. That's their definition of "short-term" focus. Not to say GLL's advice is all bad, I do have a problem with that aspect though.

Or what happens when their "short-term focus until they become competent" turns into many years?

However, the skill of "seduction" is more applicable across multiple fields; advertising is essentially seduction, business is essentially seduction, person-by-person interactions have seduction in them.

Before I go over your other point, let's examine this. Let's say you're selling vegemite in the US, a country where it's probably safe to say the majority do not like it. How do you plan on "seducing" people into buying it?

It's funny that you're taking on "Do what's fulfilling" mentality while saying that investing your time in sports/art is better than investing your time in seduction. It's a huge contradiction to make and you're in no position to determine how beneficial or how much of a time-waste something is for anybody. In your opinion, it's a waste of time to learn to seduce (lay count increase) but it's not a fact by any means. Be careful how you approach this topic, bro.

Where on Earth did I say "it's a waste of time to learn to seduce (lay count increase)?" Also point out where I said anything was a cold hard fact. Reread my original post. I'll quote a part that will help you:

Now don't get me wrong, having good sex or an amazing relationship is one of the best things life has to offer.

I even suggest the idea that skills can lead to a good sex life as well. After you reread my post, let me know what you think I was saying. Furthermore, you're right, there are no hard proof or facts here, we're talking about social lives so there probably isn't going to be hard proof.

I never stated there was, but I don't see a problem looking into the past and making a basic assumption of "Huh, sexless virgins accomplished some shit. So this idea that my sex life is a greatly influential factor on me is kind of bullshit." Which I don't think is unreasonable especially since there are posters and bullshit threads here that for some odd reason look down upon people that aren't involved in self help or studying how to improve their sex life while the authors prop themselves up as some beacon of greatness or "enlightenment" just because they get laid every now and then. Which is a prime example of the kind of people I'm talking about at the top of this thread.

I'm not claiming to be special or pretending that getting laid is some unique feat. I'm not pretending that my way is the only way. I'll say something seems less likely to be successful, I might even put it too crudely, and that's fine. If someone doesn't like it they can engage me, ignore me, test who's right or wrong, etc.

Anyways, I don't know why you've drawn the conclusions you have about my post and if you bothered to read my replies to others already, you would have seen that I'm coming from an understanding that this is my opinion if you hadn't already missed when I said it's "food for thought." Next time I'll mark it as "this is just my opinion" so it's clearer. Although then I'd like to see everyone else doing the same.

Now if we're talking about consistency, I'm curious if you've made the same statements to others ACTUALLY telling others what to do here as if it's law and giving questionable advice at that. It's "funny" (your words) that I'm being told to tread carefully about suggesting people mind/question how they invest their time in the long run.

Meanwhile, other posters and "Tribal elders" here are suggesting routes to a successful sex life that include outrageous sacrifices in their life, such as skipping school work, which is even funnier when you consider that that person is paying for it on their own dime. Those Tribal Elders/members are even disguising such a suggestion by making it seem like it's the ONLY way to success! Do you see a problem with that as well Richard?

On a note, although my tone might come across flippant, this isn't a personal attack on you or anything. I'm cool with you voicing your thoughts and appreciate your comment.

 

[Hue]

Traceur,

Also, if it is just a phase, then the question is how long will such a phase last for someone before the end of it? And how will they feel about how much time was spent in it?

Like you just said, to each is own, I can't say that.

I know that when I had this image in my head of one day being as good with women as say, Hank Moody, I was the most motivated to improve. A month later I saw huge improvements, so I think this phase that a lot of people go through is a very good thing if you have pussy on your mind. Once I started getting laid more I was more satisfied where I was with women, but that's different for everyone. I still want to keep getting better, though.
Basically, when people aren't getting laid as much as they would like to, wanting to be a slaymaster god pimp isn't such a bad thing in terms of motivation.

Also, one thing I think that's really dope about GC (and what the high ranking members recommend) are the secondary things that come along with the main focus of women.
Pussy may be the motivation, but if you subscribe to a lot of ideas you get:

Fundamentals --> healthier, stronger, more charismatic
Social Proof --> sociability, better reputation
Social Calibration
Adaptability
Realization of the fact that hard work + motivation = results, a cliche but valuable life lesson

to name a few..

So sure, maybe all of those things^ originated in an obsession of getting pussy/a girlfriend, but the building blocks of what the experts suggest on here are all things with long term benefits & valuable experience.

GC teaches a person how to function better in society and also to be a better man, which I'm sure you agree is fulfilling, but pussy no doubt is what hooked me in.


Not a reply to me, but if this is what you meant at the top of the thread...

Which I don't think is unreasonable especially since there are posters and bullshit threads here that for some odd reason look down upon people that aren't involved in self help or studying how to improve their sex life while the authors prop themselves up as some beacon of greatness or "enlightenment" just because they get laid every now and then. Which is a prime example of the kind of people I'm talking about at the top of this thread.

I don't see the grandiosity you're talking about with the tribal elders.
If you want to choose to look at it like that, go ahead, but I'm grateful for the fact that these dudes who are way better with women than I am are willing to take time out of their day to help dudes, who they owe nothing, find their way in being better with women. As far as I know, (other than the writers) these dudes aren't getting paid, they're just willing to help and enjoy doing it.

There's proof in the pudding that this shit works, when getting better with women is someone's goal (or other things, mainly based in sociability).
If someone stumbled on girlschase and keeps coming back, chances are that's at least one of their goals in life.

Just my opinion (;

Hueman

 

[Drck]

I had a realization recently. I saw a guy, hard working, solid man, average intelligence and education, some early 40's... Simple minded, straight forward, manly man. He kicked his GF out, moved away... She came back, crying, begging him to take her back. He showed her the door calmly, she had to leave. No negotiations, no discussion, no understanding... I don't know their story, I have no idea what she did, or if they are back together... but what I know is, that he is the fucking man, the man I am trying to describe here many times... She begged him to take her back after years of relationship, he said No... He wanted to live his live, without her... He didn't need her pussy...

I'll tell you one thing, there is no way this guy studied PUA or Seduction, yet she came back and begged him to allow her to stay... She had tremendous respect for him, she was trying to pull the typical woman crap at him, all the guilt and feeling sorry for her ass - he simply said No, all he did is pointed his finger to the door and said 'get out of MY place'...

I'll tell you, it was so refreshing to actually see on my own eyes what I am many times describing here... You don't see it in TV, you don't see it in politics, you don't hear it at your jobs, you don't read about it in books, nobody describes it in newspapers... It is almost non-existent, the man perished, the man no longer exist...

--------------------

At first, guys (I would say all of us) came here because we had or have some issues with girls. We wanted that one particular girl and it didn't work out, se we are trying to find out why not, what to do to get her back, or what to do to get the next girl...

We discover PUA, Seduction, Red Pill, MGTOW and who knows what else is out there these days... Today we have tons of great information available online, we can learn fast from experiences and direct advice of others... Younger guys (early 20's) don't even realize how lucky they are to have access to material like this, available at click of a mouse... I am envious of young(er) guys, you hold a gold in your hands and don't even know it, you hold a key to endless pussy for your entire life...

So we start improving, we start working on yourself, we start gaining experience by learning... I admit, the seduction stuff, the pussy knowledge is highly addictive. You know 100x more than average guy out there, and you still want to know ten thousand times more...

After a while perhaps you realize the the issue is not really much in learning seduction (or PUA, or Red Pill, or whatever)... The roots go further into society settings, into our human history, into behavior of our ancestors, into religious and other believes, into politics... The issue is much deeper, perhaps the issue is in being the man itself...

The problem perhaps is, that there are not so many true man idols to follow, each generation of men is weaker and weaker than the previous one... Perhaps the problem is with not having a real man example in our lives...

Personally I believe that we are - in essence - fighters, conquerors, warriors... We are the most dominant predators this Earth has ever seen...

True, evolution happened, and it is still happening, we are still evolving, millions of years we are evolving... But thanks to our smartness we also became lazier overall, too comfortable, we inherited things that are too easy on us... We no longer struggle, we no longer suffer, we no longer fight... We are no longer fighters, conquerors or warriors, we became weak and spineless pussies... and the more pussy behavior we exert the more difficult times we have with women...

That is my believe... Therefore, I believe that once guy realizes what is really going on, what is the true underlying issue, he will start working on his life, life of a man... He will start working on achieving goals, on motivation, on dominance, on masculinity itself... He will become fighter and warrior again, within social limits... He will become the masculine man as described above...

Weird as it sounds, he will also realize that seduction is actually not important at all, because the more manly and masculine he becomes, the less seduction skills he needs (again, just my personal believe)... The girls will actually start seducing him and not the other way. The girls will start changing their lives for him, the girls will start pursuing him - while he really has shifted his focus from girls elsewhere...

See what I am saying? There comes a point when seduction will actually become your obstacle. You have to exert less and less seductive behavior to be more successful with girls, if that makes sense. Any seductive attempt is only an obstacle in your way... It's quite controversial topic, but it works...

It works especially because there are not really so many 'real men' around. Girls are thirsty for real men, when they meet a real man they will do anything to get him and to keep him - which is basically the exact opposite what you learn here... They will test the shit out of you, but just because they have never met 'real man', they just can't believe their eyes, they need to verify whether it is true, and they will send their own GF's to re-test you...

Here, you are studying and learning how to seduce women by exerting certain behavior. In the life of 'real man', the girls are seducing you. Again, don't make me wrong, the stuff here is GOLD. Learning seduction or PUA or Red Pill is not the problem at all. The problem is in overall societal behavior, the problem is in majority of men behaving like pussies...

Imagine if every man learned the same behavior like the guy above... No negotiation, no pulling and pushing, no analyzing, no gaming, no deep conversations, no relationship management... Just a simple 'get out of MY place'... Where will all the girls go? Who will take care of them? Where will they live? How will they support themselves? They will be begging you and every single guy out there to take them in, they will respect you, they will seduce you, they will never be cheating on you... and you will never have to read one line about seduction, you will never have to worry not to have a good woman in your life...

 

[Johnnybbad]

@Johnnybbad

If you want, I can PM you my recommendation, it's not exactly long but takes up too much space here and it might throw the thread off topic.

Sure id like to know your opinion i started a post with this topic if you want you can answer me there or send me a personal email to handle you the details. or ill send you later the details. thak you for your time

 

[Yhaceed]

You must be kidding me. I get your point: don't make this your life but how many really want to do that. Yeah some will but I'd like to see those actual numbers. Personally I play the piano so I could be like Beethoven maybe but I'd rather not (plus I'm nearly deaf). Maybe you think that kind of skill is important but it's not the skills like that that I care about most. I'd much prefer a relationship with a girl and have a social life than sitting around trying to be like Beethoven. We can talk about other ways to be productive too like in business and I've been there trying to get rich ever since I was 14. And I worked in a company with a lot of people trying to accomplish that but I didn't and the very reason I didn't make it is exactly what's talked about on this site which I didn't understand back then. But looking back the most fun I had was just being around people at that time laughing cracking jokes eating together working together etc just hanging with friends and if possible dating girls. It wasn't learning the ins and outs of business and being productive that meant so much. It was getting to know people and if I'd had my fundamentals in check I'd probably be a millionaire but that's just the by product. So this site definitely helps and it crosses over into other areas and life looks a lot better. Even Napolean Hill who wrote "think and grow rich" talks about getting laid and it being great motivation to do well in life. So the way I see it the women in your life will help you succeed or you can probably forget about being a success i.e. the odds will be stacked against you. And if you're pouring too much time into girls it still may help wake you up to other things in life but focusing on other things first doesn't necessarily work. There's just certain people who may meet your definition of success but not mine if they spent hours and hours alone being productive. And I get your point that you're saying you can learn from this site but I guess we just disageee what success is and that's cool.

~Yhaceed

 

[Guest0291]

@Yhaceed

If you really understood my point, then how come you are making it out as if I'm telling men to become recluses and focus solely on something like music or business? That's kind of a core point in your post, I don't know if it's assuming I was stating as much or you just stating your ideas separately.

I'd much prefer a relationship with a girl and have a social life than sitting around trying to be like Beethoven.

Never said otherwise, we actually already talked about having balance in one's life and how that's a pretty fair way of dealing with things sometimes. You also stated you have fun in your social life, and that's where many fond memories come from. Where did I say anything against that? I agree with you, that's fun.

We're actually in agreement on some things. Hell if anything I think just having a good social life is massively better than wasting time sarging the streets, airports, libraries looking for girls to cold approach. What I'm doing is questioning guys goals of "becoming a master seducer", and they're welcome to disregard it or listen. I advise listening. Especially since if they ever find out getting girls is massively easier than they made it out to be (or PUA companies made it out to be) or they look at how their time was spent, they might have a lot of regret. That seems to be where we disagree and that's fine.

As for numbers, look around PUA forums, including this one. Plenty do this, plenty recommend this route of diving massive amounts of time in, and I'm calling bullshit. But numbers are irrelevant anyways. It doesn't matter how many, my advice is for the guys doing it, regardless of how many there actually are.