Don't Play Yourself Down

[trashKENNUT]

"Don't Play Yourself Down. Self Depreciate or Acknowledge. Move Forward (Get used to Winning)*

Apparently most of us have actually read and apply some of Chase insight's and method presented inside Girlschase blog. One of the most recurring things that happen to people recently is that we play ourselves down a lot when someone praises you, or when women are really really interested. It resulted from a lack of confidence, failures of the past.

The funny thing about success, is that you gotta approach every single opportunity, every single offer of business with the same enthusiasm, faith, and belief that you can seal the deal. and if you do just that, you tend to somehow manage your emotions long enough that the 'Yes' will start coming in. Sometimes your improvements can be that fast.

An article worth mention here, https://www.girlschase.com/content/play-win

Zac

 

[AFCnoob]

I was reading something about charisma that actually encouraged "reasonable" use of self-deprecation. People seem to like people who are humble more than people who are not. People do seem to make the mistake of being overly self-deprecating, or doing it "incorrectly" (i.e.: when it is not necessary, to an excessive degree, or revealing self-loathing).

It may also be different for different people: I talk in a very direct, self-assured way*, which can strike some people as cocksure or arrogant, so I tend to do a bit more self-deprecating to offset this. Someone who's more laid back in their assertions might not have to.

*except here on the boards, where such a tone can easily be misunderstood as aggressive or dismissive

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hi AFCnoob,

People do seem to make the mistake of being overly self-deprecating, or doing it "incorrectly" (i.e.: when it is not necessary, to an excessive degree, or revealing self-loathing).

I think that overly self depreciating happens often because males are not accustomed to such praises or successes, and thus people and friends whom not seem to like your success or find your interest the same as theirs when they see you. thus there is this self-loathing because your friends not longer in the same wavelength as you, they feel nervous, fear because of a lot of different things.

It may also be different for different people: I talk in a very direct, self-assured way*, which can strike some people as cocksure or arrogant, so I tend to do a bit more self-deprecating to offset this. Someone who's more laid back in their assertions might not have to.

i think you self depreciate is good, However i realize you will strike some people as cocksure or arrogant if you a this person or you a that person. Given an example that I happen to be a religious guy and study guy that my family members, cousins actually like but as i grow different, (Today i am not so religious, not saying religion is bad, i still practice it, without everyone going crazy up my a$$) people might not be accustomed to your decisions. It occurs with everyone. btw, Self-depreciating do help to offset that assertive character.

*except here on the boards, where such a tone can easily be misunderstood as aggressive or dismissive

Aggressive or dismissive can be misunderstood but i think Chase forum rules outlines out everything there is to make this forum great. I hope that helps. You can always change the vocabulary.

Zac

 

[Just_Dave]

Reminds me of the post I made in the Beginners thread. I talked about the seeing the interaction all the way to the end and putting everything you got into the interaction. You don't want to leave an interaction feeling like you failed, instead learn from previous interactions to make it to the end.

I agree you never want to go into an interaction with a losing attitude, people can detect moods fairly well. Instead leave woman with a great experience, but keep in mind your goal is to take them home. You're not there to be a comedian or a clown. You want to be that cool, sexy, suave guy who she dreams about alone in bed at night.

 

[Rationalis]

There is definitely a specific line that must be observed when maintaining reputation. I feel as if its better to err on the side of humble confidence than not. Being too humble will get you no respect, being too overconfident (arrogance) will get you no allies.

 

[Just_Dave]

There is definitely a specific line that must be observed when maintaining reputation. I feel as if its better to err on the side of humble confidence than not. Being too humble will get you no respect, being too overconfident (arrogance) will get you no allies.

I agree with you in terms of balance playing a huge role in any interaction you take on.

 

[Flames]

The way I see it is to just accept the compliment as it is, otherwise what you end up doing is 'punishing' someone for giving you praise, which is just crazy.

Ex.

Girl: You have really nice eyes
Boy: Thank you, they change colour in the sun..

Or..

Girl: I like your shirt
Boy: I like yours too, want to swap?

See how that works a lot better than just saying nothing, or just dismissing it? Or even replying that "Oh yeah, great isn't it/arnt they? That just comes off either as conceited or sarcastic

Actually one I used recently was when a girl said I didn't look 37. I just replied with a smile that "I like it when girls say that". Which left it wide open for to her to interpret however she liked.

 

[trashKENNUT]

@Just_Dave

I agree you never want to go into an interaction with a losing attitude, people can detect moods fairly well. Instead leave woman with a great experience, but keep in mind your goal is to take them home. You're not there to be a comedian or a clown. You want to be that cool, sexy, suave guy who she dreams about alone in bed at night.

I kind of believe that when one focus on attitude, sometimes he often forget taking her home, i think it gets better with experience and time to get both attitude and taking her home together running smoothly.

@Rationalis

Being too humble will get you no respect, being too overconfident (arrogance) will get you no allies.

Too humble and you get 'humbled' by other people's negativity also. seems apparent.

@Flames

Actually one I used recently was when a girl said I didn't look 37. I just replied with a smile that "I like it when girls say that". Which left it wide open for to her to interpret however she liked.

i think what you mean is like acknowledging good praises and relating it with yourself.

The example you gave,

Boy: Thank you, they change colour in the sun.

and

Boy: I like it when girls say that.

I do this quite about recently, i am finding better ways to do it though, but the results are fairly good.

 

[Chase]

The rule of thumb on self-deprecation is, use it only enough to make yourself human and relatable to a girl who sees you out of her league (or nearing it).

e.g., if a girl who clearly sees you as more powerful / dominant / experienced than you says to you, "Wow, you've had a pretty amazing life to have traveled so much," you'd say, "Ah, I've just had a few lucky opportunities - I only left college with one job opportunity, but that one opportunity paid well and I was able to travel. Pure luck."

Whereas, if a girl is busting your stones and testing you and trying to qualify you because she sees herself as more powerful and dominant and says to you, you don't want to self-deprecate, and instead you want to keep the focus on her and on getting her to qualify herself to you, invest more in the interaction, and get her trying to impress you.

Chase