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"Don't text me this..."

Estate

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
798
Guys,
This blog came up in my newsfeed today:
http://www.innerconfidence.com/7-text-m ... r-send-me/

Ok, I'd love if some of the guys like Franco or Chase had an opinion on this type of thing.

When I read something like this I absolutely despair. Reading some of the things in there make me cringe. Ok, so there's a few obvious points, don't be needy, boring, etc... don't be a creep...
But some stuff like... you don't have an iPhone? I mean, given some of the things were spot on but by the time I reached the end of the list I was like.... WOW... so basically... do not text this girl AT ALL!?!? It's almost like NOTHING works for her.

Is it REALLY this difficult? Are ALL girls REALLY like this.
I re-iterate that I'm from Ireland and found dating baffling when I arrived here... like people don't "date" there as much. You are either seeing someone or you're not. You're not expecting her to be banging 5 other guys if you are banging her. It's not the norm there.

But here? I admit... I've probably made some of these mistakes, plenty of them infact... but the whole thing is such a game of cat and mouse that I feel I don't even have the energy for sometimes.
For example... I'm texting 2 girls right now that I'm into... so it's like... text her to make her interested, but don't text her to make her lose interest. Text her something funny but don't be funny by text because it doesn't come off as funny as it sounded in your head. Don't text from your Android (the most used phone around!?!), Do drop $500 on an iPhone I don't want and this girl will text me back? Don't hit her up casually but don't be creepy setting weirdo date plans.

It's just every so often I read something like this and it blows up my beliefs. I don't even get it. To me this girl is cute but not a 10, not even close... and her FB linked pics are nowhere even near as hot as the one used in the blog. I mean, if I met this girl, I'd go... "Cute, but... hmm.. maybe if it's not too much trouble..." but this girl has a rotation 5 guys deep? Am I seriously loosing my mind here reading this? By the end of reading this article I would not touch her with a barge-pole... her attitude totally turns me off yet it's what so many girls display when they perceive themself as hot.

Sorry rant over... but it's just baffling to me. With the girls I am texting right now and before... I can see from her post where I may have lost them in the past, but it's almost like ANYTHING I could say is lame. I don't even get it....
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,554
Estate,

Estate said:
To me this girl is cute but not a 10, not even close... and her FB linked pics are nowhere even near as hot as the one used in the blog. ... By the end of reading this article I would not touch her with a barge-pole... her attitude totally turns me off yet it's what so many girls display when they perceive themself as hot.

I assume you've already read the following, but here it is just in case:

Dating Advice for Men: Why NOT to Get It from Women

Frankly, I wouldn't sweat it. I read all sorts of crap like this shortly before I found the GirlsChase site, much of it demonstrably wrong (as I proceeded to determine by my own subsequent experience).

-Marty
 

Ross

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
550
Fun little read there.

Look, you gotta recognize that a lot of this is just steaming off. She's listing all the things that frustrate her when it comes to men texting her. These things really do frustrate her, given the situation. Just up to you to realize what the situation entails.

Is it REALLY this difficult? Are ALL girls REALLY like this.

Everyone is; even you! She really isn't bad, you're just taking her words a tad too seriously and labeling her as an other. She said what she said because she felt that these things were issues. Doesn't make her a bad person.
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
Estate,

Texting is definitely one of my strong points, so I knew this would be a pretty enjoyable read one way or another. Anyway, let's get to it...

But some stuff like... you don't have an iPhone?

Baloney. Do you think a girl would turn down a date with a Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling because he had an Android? I doubt it. If she likes you, she'll text you back.

Is it REALLY this difficult? Are ALL girls REALLY like this.

Texting actually is quite the art form. And yes, high quality girls really are like this. It's like she said at the beginning, she's always going to have 5 "NON-salty" guys texting her at all times. So when you think it's annoying that one girl that week didn't text you back, think about how annoying it is for her that she's dealing with this from about 5-10 different guys, 7 days a week. Girls get text-savvy extremely quickly because of this, which is why I think it's really important that guys become good at texting them. It may not even be emphasized enough on this website how important it actually is.

Text her something funny but don't be funny by text because it doesn't come off as funny as it sounded in your head.

Never text her something funny just to be funny. That's the issue with some guys -- they text with the intention of just trying to make her laugh. I never text a girl that I haven't slept with these days without the intention of it being toward meeting up. Now, during those texts, I might include some wit and humor, but it's always part of my delivery with asking for her schedule.

The only exception may be online dating where there is more of an emphasis on building rapport since you two haven't met, but most of that can be done before you even ask for the cell number. So keep it to a minimum.

"3. The guy who tries to meet up with me too fast, before making me like him enough"

This is pretty much the only other one I don't agree with (along with the iPhone one). If you made a great impression in person, she could care less about how fast you try to meet up with her. As a matter of fact, she'll be rather disappointed if she was really excited about you and you seem to beat around the bush. I'm assuming she's referring to guys she found attractive but didn't make much of a connection with in person (or in other words, guys who grabbed her number without properly moving or deep-diving her). Make a great impression, and set up your dates as soon as possible thereafter.

"6. The Guy Who Doesn’t Understand Emoticons"

She's spot on with this one. I've emphasized over and over on the boards how emoticons have always made my interactions via text run much more smoothly. The problem with texting is that you can't convey the "sentiment" or "emotion" behind a text, and that's exactly what a smiley does. If you look at the successful members on this board (Tool, Zphix, NarrowJ, etc.), they all use emoticons in their texts. It's a great way to convey that you're upbeat, happy, easy-going, and confident. And the "winky" face is always a great way to let her know that you know how to flirt properly.

- Franco
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Estate

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
798
Guys,

So I don't know why this one hit me.... after reading the first few points in her list I was nodding along but then it just got ridiculous... it went from "Things not to text me" to "Just don't bother texting me. Everything is lame."

I draw the distinction between this and the usual "Girl gives dating advice" because in this she's just telling it how it is... not saying "Hey, just be nice, be yourself, girls loooooooove that".
In her examples you can see the boring guys and you can see the wannabe PUA's.

I've taken the "less is more" approach to texting for a while now. I'm not a big texter anyway, usually it's more for function than just texting for the sake of it but I can't tell.... what is better?
Should I be texting MORE to try and impress her somehow? I figured I would save us both from the random lame texts and just let it shine in person... but with that has come some flakes.

I read this right after a text exchange with a girl I've been talking to... she voluntarily sent me pictures of herself and then in the next message flaked on plans, end of conversation. With her, I was experimenting with building some fun over text and she seemed to be digging it, which I wasn't expecting right up to the point she sent me some cute pictures of herself.... then gone. I mean there's a chance she's busy this evening or whatever but if a girl goes flat on me once I tend to just leave it... no point being the guy pushing it if she's not into it.

It's just frustrating though... it was just never a thing when I was younger, and I'm talking 3-4 years ago back home. When girls start acting like this I assume no-interest and just delete her number... but it seems like I'm SUPPOSED to chase to make her like me more before meeting up? I felt just some banter then setting the date was best so it didn't go stale....

Hmm... I don't know. I feel I need to rethink this.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,554
Estate said:
I read this right after a text exchange with a girl I've been talking to... she voluntarily sent me pictures of herself and then in the next message flaked on plans, end of conversation.

I assume you've read this?

What to Do When Girls Flake

If she actually gave you notice over text, rather than failing to show up, I wouldn't give up on her yet, if it were me. Is there anything to be said for employing Chase's recommendation here, i.e.:

Rule #1 of successfully dealing with flakes? Don’t let it be a big deal. Stay cool when girls flake.
 

NarrowJ

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 13, 2013
Messages
1,275
It's just girl smack talk. Like Franco pointed out, if she really likes a guy she'll let a few of those slide (like the not having an iPhone and trying to meet up too fast). Most of the others seem pretty legit. I laughed my ass off at some of the clueless chumps in those message screen captures :)

I remember what happened the last time some girl put up a blog post similar to this one... ;P


NJ
 

Estate

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
798
Marty said:
Estate said:
I read this right after a text exchange with a girl I've been talking to... she voluntarily sent me pictures of herself and then in the next message flaked on plans, end of conversation.

I assume you've read this?

What to Do When Girls Flake

If she actually gave you notice over text, rather than failing to show up, I wouldn't give up on her yet, if it were me. Is there anything to be said for employing Chase's recommendation here, i.e.:

Rule #1 of successfully dealing with flakes? Don’t let it be a big deal. Stay cool when girls flake.

Sure... but this kinda assumes I'd still be interested in a flakey girl...
I don't necessarily want to know what to do when she flakes... I know what I do when I girl flakes, I delete her number and get someone else's. It's just the whole point of it really.
 
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