Ending a good relationship, just to learn game?

[Blush]

I have a question with a bit of a background story.

For the last two years I've been in a relationship with a girl I have known for a pretty long time. We met years ago when working together, but since we then went on to live in separate cities, we just stayed in touch here and there before it finally ended up in something serious.
She's great. Caring, loving, has a good sense of humour, we have a drama free relation and I enjoy her company.

I appreciate all of this happening. But at the same time I'm haunted. The thing is, I'm 34 years old now, and due to lots of complicated stuff related to mental issues as a kid, being put on bad medications etc, I was a super late bloomer as far as women goes. I didn't lose my virginity until well into my twenties, and the girl I'm with now- it is the second real relationship I've ever had.

I've missed out on so much in my youth becasue of fear of being regarded as strange, fear of being ridiculed, fear of letting women know of my issues and demons.

But now I feel much better! I am finally at ease with myself, I'm ok with being open about being a late bloomer, at last I'm fine with showing girls the real me. And I am also very eager to, well, be with lot's of girls. I feel stressed because of my age- all of my peers are already starting families and LEAVING the life I now want to START behind them. I'm also interested in girls ten years younger than me.

One part of me wants to learn game as fast as possible, to still have an opportunity to get to know myself as a, well, a lover I guess. And the other part of me really care for this super sweet girl, and wants to explore how to be in a relationship.

As you may read between the lines this has sparked some kind of inner crisis. I know this dilemma can't be solved by anyone other than myself. But if you were in my shoes, could you see a way to explain this to the girl I'm with? She's also a late bloomer, like me, but she don't suffer this FOMO-crisis I'm spinning into. She's not into polyamory deals. A part of me feels it would be unfair to not let her know exactly how I feel about all of this. But just becasue I think that I would appreciate the brutal honesty, that doesn't mean it is the best way to go about things.

Would you say it's better to just let her go without giving her a lecture about my unfulfilled dreams of living as a Don Juan?

 

[POB]

End it.
I've been in your shoes....if you feel the urge to be free and have variety and she cannot be converted to open, rip the band-aid and let her go.
It's the most caring and loving thing you can do.

Also start your next serious relationship on better terms
(meaning never promising monogamy in the first place).
Your age is irrelevant (I started to learn game properly at 32).
Good luck!

 

[Lover]

Imagine she was the one to leave you for the exact reason. It's not that unimaginable since she's a late bloomer herself, is it? But wouldn't you want to know as much of the truth as possible, even if she was going to hurt your feelings? Wouldn't you feel awful if you felt she was keeping important details for her reasons to herself?

You must show conviction when you break up in these circumstances. It's your life, your choices. She may not understand it rationally. Or maybe she does understand the "call for something bigger than yourself". She may get hurt, angry, sad, etc. Or maybe she will happy for you.

You don't have to tell her about your Casanova dreams in details if you don't want to. Because what is every Casanova dream about?

It's about adventures. New experiences.

It's about discovering yourself, other people and the world. It's about discovering the things that you didn't think existed.

And because you were in no place to do all of this before, you must go on this journey now. It's not some fleeting emotion. It is what you have to do. There is no turning back on this. And you know she can't join you. You are convinced this is it.

You tell her something along those lines.

You have to tell her one important thing when you go on this journey, and she has done nothing to earn this: the breakup is in no way about her. You will always love her and keep her in your heart but you must be true to yourself as well. You know she will find a guy that will love her. You get the idea.

Good luck

 

[Rakehell]

I was almost kind of sort of nearly in your shoes a few months ago. The difference was I wanted to test if I could maintain a monogamous relationship after a long stint of being, well a player.

The relationship was great for both of us but it came to an end for the same reason that you want to end yours. Of course she wasn’t happy about it but she was understanding.

I know it feels selfish to do such a thing but is that so bad? You only live one life, experience the things you want man.