- Joined
- Jun 17, 2022
- Messages
- 160
FR++ "Energetic" (day game, warm approach)
This all started mid May.approach
I take seat in front of a blonde girl on a train. She's cute and she glances at me. I'm kinda bored with my usual opener and I can't think of anything better, so I decide to just wait, keep an eye on her and see if she gives me a good reason to open.Luckily something funny happens with a couple passengers not too far from us. She makes a comment about it, I laugh and continue the convo, quickly switching to the usual "are you from around here?" and other rapport-building questions.
We chat a bit, then we hop off at the same station. We walk a bit together, and I suggest we grab a drink together some time. She happily agrees and we trade numbers.
texting
Vibe over text is great, but she's initiating most of the time, clearly investing way more than me. I'm a bit worried about this, as I don't wanna be texting all day long, but I also don't want her to feel like I'm unattainable, so I try to keep a fair level of investment. Anyway, at some point we agree on a date and we meet up.first date
Date goes well: we flirt and I build rapport and touch her quite a bit, motioning to kiss her a couple times but not actually kissing her. She resists and I pull back. After a couple hours I tell her that I have to go. She seems reluctant to leave so soon, so we chat a bit more and we leave after 10-15 minutes.We're in front of my place. I should probably invite her but I go for the kiss-close instead, and she gives me the cheek.
follow-up
Anyway, in the following days she's the one doing most of the work via text by initiating convos and asking me questions, and overall telling me that she really enjoyed the date and sending kiss emojis. She then asks me if I wanna hang out again on friday, and I'm like well, why the hell not?second date
So we hang out again. When we meet, she tells me that she has to wake up early the next day. Classic. I tell her not to worry, I don't have much time either.During the date our energy is way lower, the vibe is way more flirty and I touch her more. We then switch to another place. We sit at a table, and after some conversation I stare in her eyes. She stares back and we kiss, with me making sure to pull back first.
The evening goes on between wine, short conversations, listening to some people singing, and quite a bit of kissing. We're having a great time overall. We then leave the place and go to a festival to grab some food.
my place
After that, I walk towards my place, and she follows without too many questions. I invite her upstairs and she agrees. I quickly show her around the place, and then we sit in the living room.Needless to say we start kissing within a few minutes after we sit. I touch her a bit but probably not as much as I should. After a bit she asks me if I can accompany her home right now, because her bus leaves in one hour and it's a bit late already. Instead of saying "hey, let's keep hanging out here then, i'll take you to your bus in an hour", I agree to take her home.
her place
At her place I try to resume the escalation. She kisses me back and I touch her more, but at some point she walks towards the door and says that "this is bad" and we shouldn't do it.Unfortunately I don't handle this well: instead of reframing "this" as good and natural, I go for the hail mary by pressing her against the wall and kissing and touching her, and putting her hands on me. She kisses back and loves all of it, but still doesn't seem convinced.
Something in me tells me to just leave, so that's what I do. I kiss her goodbye and walk down the stairs outside her apartment. I can hear her door closing a good 5-6 seconds after I'm out of her sight. Maybe she was standing there waiting for me to come back?
Anyway, back home I realize that I fucked up and that I probably won't see this girl again.
follow-up
I'm abroad on vacation, and she keeps texting me enthusiastically. She even tells me "i was thinking what we can do when we see each other again
", to which I reply with "tell me more ". However, she texts me a lot and with high energy, and my replies (due to me being on vacation) are way shorter and lower energy. One day I'm so busy that I don't even check Whatsapp, so I don't reply to her texts for a whole day.When I reinitiate the next day she's way colder. She gives shorter answers and sounds pissed. I naturally match her energy and I start giving colder answers too. However she tries to continue the conversation and qualifies herself to me by telling me she did things that she knows I'd find interesting, so that's a good sign. I tell her that she's cool and that I'd love to catch up and hear about it, to which she replies "this week will be difficult, but i'll text you if i have time
". I ask her if she's busy building her business empire and add "no worries, we'll do some other time ". We keep texting and flirting a bit. She tells me I look good for my age and I joke on the fact that she's younger than me.And that's where we are today. No texts in the last week or so. I suspect she might feel awkward to reinitiate contact, so I'll ping her this week and see what the vibe is. And if the vibe is bad, well, so be it.
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takeaways
- I didn't set the right non-judgemental frames; she was really worried about sex being "bad", so she was probably worried that I might judge her; she was probably worried about her body count increasing too, as Chase points out here;- some time ago I would have chased a girl that I felt was pulling away; good thing that I learned to keep cool and stay unfazed as this community teaches!
" and be nice? Should I go just with "k"?