Erpiaosn's Journal

[TheEcho]

Hey Gents!

I've decided to keep a journal, primarily to note down major do's/don'ts, so I never repeat a stupid move/forget a great thing.

To start off, I'm going to just list out the stuff I've taken away from my recent interactions:

• 
  Starbucks Latina:
  1g. I can persist like a god
  
  Latina Milf:
  1g. Age is no limiter for me
  
  Mall Latina:
  1b: Don't hardcore force touch, be chill and let her come to me
  
  1g. Approached a really hot girl without any IOI's in the mall and got her out, proof I can do this more
  
  
  Latina Barista:
  1b. Don't push to go to her place more than once (on the initial text exchange), even if she isn't giving a firm no
  2b. Be warm with a girl after sex, in person and on text. Don't be a fuckboy
  
  ***1g. I can make girls squirt and give them the best sex of their life, even in a car
  
  
  Blonde
  1b. Don't get undressed unless she is also at least partially undressed
  2b. Make sure to really get to know a girl, really dig into her motives and past and dreams
  
  ***1g. I am very attractive, to the point these past two girls were ready to go from the start
  
  
  Brazilian Cougar
  1b. Until I have my own place, just suggest a dinner/coffee, no more about cooking
  
  1g. I can start things anywhere
  
  
  Turkish Cougar
  1b. Don't jump so hard with a girl who just broke up
  
  ***1g. I can bring girls around to liking me
  
  
  Rock Climbing Cougar (Lawyer)
  1b: Actually get to know girls, dig deeper. She was into me, until I seemed shallow
  2b. Hold a conversation till she hooks, no jumping in and out early on(mostly applies to rock climbing/gym)

Till next time!

 

[TheEcho]

It's been a little while... started seeing the Barista girl, then shot it to hell, time to list the lessons so they are not in vain. (The killing blow was my entitlement mentality about sex with her, which I didn't know existed until I pushed too hard 4 separate times...)

1. Be natural and congruent at all times, in person, over text, etc.
2. I enjoy sex, and I will pursue it, and if it doesn't happen, no big deal
3. Don't think out loud when under emotional stress, take your time to process thoughts before speaking
4. Learn the girl and her own responses, tastes, and personality
5. Accept value offerings graciously and reward her for it
6. Take note of details about her (color, family, places, hobbies, favorite anything)
7. Stay calm and steady at all times (cannot stress enough)

Little ego boosts I got throughout the relationship (many she said herself):
1. I am incredible at sex (the best)
2. I am a leader
3. I am naturally sexy and playful
4. I can create great connections and have proven I can get a girlfriend (and mess up repeatedly and keep them around as I adjust)
5. I love to improve and get better

Till next time gents!

-Erp

 

[TheEcho]

Managed to bring the Barista back around and things were getting really serious, but that caused her to think about the future and realize we are going totally different directions, we show and receive affection differently, and it was draining whenever we weren't together, so it's a sad, but necessary end. I learned so much from her and felt like my heart came alive (sappy, but true), I was very indifferent, cold, and a fuckboi before, she also learned a lot about herself and life, so it was a very productive relationship and I need to take notes of lessons and thoughts:

1. When moving toward a LTR (my aim is lifelong marriage), make sure we discuss goals and how we show and receive affection early on

2. DO NOT shoot down her dreams ever, if they just totally misalign, let that be a gentle parting point, don't try to force her to join my own life path against her wishes

3. If a relationship is draining more than vitalizing, it probably is for her too

4. Respect her schedule and life priorities and realize a girl will put herself in a bad spot to spend time with her high value man

5. Love her as much as you want, just keeping precedent in mind

6. You cannot rely on great sex to carry a committed relationship

7. Be natural, especially when doing physical things, like going to hold her hand, just gently take it and hold it

8. Girls can change and grow, but the pace is(was) slow

9. A genuine, confident man is end game and feels great to be, feeling free to be silly, to initiate sex, to inquire and check to make sure she's alright because you want to, not out of fear of repercussions, free to text her and want to meet up, to make plans. Be and do what you want, from a place of confidence and love

10. I got sappy and I'm cool with it, we'll see how it fairs going back to meet new girls

11. I absolutely have to be careful who I bring in really close, I get strongly attached, and if Kadie's goals were slightly more aligned with mine, I'd probably have married her within a year or two

12. When you have committed to a girl, don't be a horn dog looking at every ass that walks by, that severely detracts from how you value your girl, flirting is fine, but letting your mind wander to sex with others, it's hard to treat her how she should be

13. Encourage growth and self development with each other

14. Pay attention to music taste and other tastes, the honeymoon phase makes it easy to put up with those things, but long term, can grow into issues

15. I can love and be loved, and am a very high value guy, I need to be with a girl whose highly ambitious, physically what I'd like, and mentally stable and fun, otherwise things get lost in the mix of self esteems

 

[Ambiance]

Howdy Erp,

Breakups are rough. Especially the first few times. Sounds like you learned a lot though.

You're going to want to get back into the game ASAP. Not only that, but now is an awesome time to go after women who are above what you might expect of yourself atm. Read this article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/doomed-relationship-ideal-springboard

I'm sure you've gained a much more robust and tempered idea of what successful relationships take. You say your endgoal is marriage and lifelong commitement. I'll give you the same advice I gave you a few weeks ago, now that the shroud of your relationship has been lifted:

1. Depending on how important your choice of mate is to you compared to any other of your endeavors, you've gotta be very discriminating in who makes the cut. This is in all categories that are going to matter to you (how ambitious she is, how intelligent she is, how devoted she is, family history, sexual history, etc.; Chase has a recent article about screening for a wife that is excellent if you are interested)
2. It is probably in your best interest to wait to get married until you're 25 at the least. For me that number is 27 minimum. This is for a lot of reasons, including how your brain won't be fully developed until you are around 25.5 years old or so, you'll have more of an idea of what trajectory your career and lifestyle will take, you'll pass commitment points slower, thus giving you time to make a measured decision if a girl is wife material and creating the healthiest attraction in her, and you will be more financially equipped to handle marriage.
3. In the meantime, if you want that pristine dream girl to be yours down the road, do everything you can now to increase your social dominance, become a paragon of whatever type of guy the type of girl you want is most interested in, and develop your relationship skill set. This is why I recommend...
4... Dating multiple women at the same time. At least until you are ready to settle down, years later. See if you can have them be exclusive to you without the other way around. This way, you can level up your game as much as you can while not missing out on crucial relationship experience (or intimacy).
5. Hit Abundance (ties into the above two). One of the best things you can do to yourself, not just as far as seduction goes but as far as LIFE goes, imo. I'm pretty close to this if not already there. I'm at the point where if I try hard enough, I know I'm going to get laid. The shackles are eroding before my very eyes.

I found Girlschase intent on making the then girl of my dreams my girlfriend and then giving her the romance of a lifetime. And while I still would like to get married to some Special Girl someday, I've recognized the weakness in my former idealism. Of course that didn't stop me from jumping into a relationship with the first girl I slept with lol. It's a learning curve. And I'm sure you're starting to realize that.

So, read the springboard article, hit the streets/grocery stores/transit/beach, give a girl an experience to cherish, and give her my condolences!

Ambiance

 

[TheEcho]

Post a 3 month, then 5 year relationship:

1a. I can love deeply and be loved deeply
1b. Love can end

2. I eventually want to settle down as a "normal" dad, after enjoying this (unexpected) freedom to get back out in the game for a while.

3a. Learned a LOT about sex. Over 1k sessions total and was very intentional to keep improving the whole time.
3b. Learned I'm a giver/performer during sex, my enjoyment is causing genuine pleasure for my partner.
3c. Learned I'm very dominant, it turns me on to be in control.
3d. Strongly confirmed I'm very capable at quickly giving a lot of pleasure.
3e. A girl may stick around for great sex, if other issues aren't too severe. Somewhat playing with fire, need to be attentive to her overall stance and not have a relationship built on her orgasms.

4. I definitely prefer innocent girls when there's an emotional connection (took the virginity and was the only partner of the 5 year one).

5a. It's vital to keep working on yourself for everyone's sake.
5b. Don't spiral inwards, keep exploring life and the world.

6. If she's not moving the relationship forward on her end, don't blame yourself (after a point).

7a. The primary way I get angry is when others refuse to fix an issue after extensive periods of time. Screen for willingness to self-improve.
7b. I need to manage my snappiness toward immature behavior.

8. Her friends can fuck things up. It's a must to meet friends in person at least a few times.

9. If all she does is gossip, she's probably making me look like an asshole to everyone else.



Post-Travelling/Mostly Recovering from breakup:

1. I am incredibly spontaneous, deciding to go international for my first time and planning and executing it all in 10 days.

2. I am resilient, solo-backpacking across 7 countries, making dozens of friends, as well as spending a lot of time happily alone in foreign lands.

3. I do have a sense of wanting to share my art with the world, mainly singing (work in progress).

4. Europe is AMAZING. I'm lucky to live in a time where I can peacefully visit the great sites of different cultures.

5. Jumped for my first tattoo and had it done within a week of finding a good artist (half sleeve).

6. Staying busy is vital for a man, this long stretch of unemployment while finding my first job out of college is very unconducive for being sexy.

7. I have a large heart for people, spending more time getting into the depths of people's "soul" than any other social activities in Europe.

8. Somehow didn't get laid at all on the trip, despite over a dozen promising girls. Not sure how to feel about this, mostly write it off as hostel logistics being messy as hell and me focused on seeing the cities.

9. Meditation, reading, singing, and journaling seem to subtly do a lot for me. Need to maintain these habits, though the benefits aren't obvious enough to hold onto strongly.

 

[Railer]

I definitely prefer innocent girls when there’s an emotional connection

Somehow didn’t get laid at all on the trip. Not sure how to feel about this

Can relate.

Meeting new girls, the fewer followers she has, the more my interest spikes. "Model" is the new trash.

The other thing is totally normal when recently out of a relationship. Just takes time to recalibrate.

Good luck with whatever you got coming up next!