Escalating with party's host

[Pato]

Hey guys. I will probably be going to a party on Friday night, and it is at a girl's house who I might be able to hook up with. The last time we were at a party we were close to hooking up (it just seemed like it was on between us) but we were both pretty drunk and some of the others there (who didn't drink much, if at all) were watching us like hawks. I'm not really sure how much of it she remembers, but I know she knows that we had a fun time and a good talk.

So how would you go about escalating with a girl who is the host of the party? I'm thinking I just kind of play it as I normally would until I'm ready to move her and isolate, but I'm not sure what to do then. Is it kinda the same thing as at a normal party? It might even be easier because we have a place to hook up for sure (her room), but I'm not sure how I could get her away from everyone else at the party. So maybe just find an excuse to go to her room and then start to escalate when we're alone in there? Any suggestions?

I also have a side question, how would I prevent her friends from cockblocking? I don't know how intentional it was last time (at the last party), but it seemed like there was always someone around us while we were talking. I'm thinking I should start to isolate before she drinks too much, because at that point some of her friends might be worried about her and stop her from doing anything with me. So how would I deal with this problem should I run into it again (or avoid it altogether)?

Thanks for help,
Pato

 

[Franco]

Pato,

So how would you go about escalating with a girl who is the host of the party?

Attempting to hook up with the host of a party can be tricky because she's the center of attention -- she knows everyone, and everyone knows her, which means her social reputation is heavily on the line. She won't do anything too risky that will get her shunned by her friends.

Your best bet is to just enjoy yourself at the party and talk to everyone (including her here and there when she's in the vicinity). Remember, if she's the host, then she's going to be able to easily assess your value based on how her friends interact with you. If you're the cool guy that everyone seems to be talking, smiling, and laughing with, then she's going to assess you as a high-value guy that really gets along well with her friends.

To seal the deal, you'll want to stay until the very end of the party if possible -- even if that means staying until 4 or 6 am. This also means you don't want to have any ties to having to leave early, which means that you don't want to be a designated driver for your friends or be required to leave the party for any other reason. Once the party dies down, people will start to leave and she'll start to get tired, which will make her want to go to her room. Sometime before this happens, you'll probably want to engage in some flirty conversation with her and get a little physical with her if you can (like placing your hand on her lower back when you're flirting, for example). Eventually, you two will want to slip up to her room when she's excited and no one is paying attention... and voila!

I also have a side question, how would I prevent her friends from cockblocking? I don't know how intentional it was last time (at the last party), but it seemed like there was always someone around us while we were talking. I'm thinking I should start to isolate before she drinks too much, because at that point some of her friends might be worried about her and stop her from doing anything with me. So how would I deal with this problem should I run into it again (or avoid it altogether)?

I would use the party as a way to win the friends over, assuming you haven't somehow made them auto-reject you already. If you have, then you're probably going to have to climb a steep hill to get past it unless this girl is really into you and is willing to sneak away with you. However, I would not try to isolate her early; remember, she's the host of the party, which means she has a responsibility to be around everyone, and this will only make things difficult for you.

So to summarize, win her friends over during the party, and then try to isolate her at the very end when people are leaving or falling asleep.

EDIT: If she gets too drunk early into the party, then your chances of sleeping with her will probably go down the drain. If that happens, I would just wait for a better opportunity to invite her out on a date with you where you two can be alone. (This also means you should try to grab her number sometime early in the party just in case this happens)

- Franco

 

[Pato]

Thanks a ton, Franco. A lot of what you said makes sense. Just a couple questions.

Your best bet is to just enjoy yourself at the party and talk to everyone (including her here and there when she's in the vicinity). Remember, if she's the host, then she's going to be able to easily assess your value based on how her friends interact with you. If you're the cool guy that everyone seems to be talking, smiling, and laughing with, then she's going to assess you as a high-value guy that really gets along well with her friends.

To seal the deal, you'll want to stay until the very end of the party if possible -- even if that means staying until 4 or 6 am. This also means you don't want to have any ties to having to leave early, which means that you don't want to be a designated driver for your friends or be required to leave the party for any other reason.

I was thinking that I would want to stay pretty late and not get tied up leaving early, so it's good to know my thinking was right there. I don't think getting her friends to like me will be a problem at all, as I'm friends with most of them and at the last party I had a lot of fun with everyone. So I shouldn't try to isolate her at all during the party if we are flirting and getting physical until the very end? If nobody is paying attention and it's already on between us, but still somewhat early into the night, should I wait it out or use the opportunity to isolate and escalate if it's there? Obviously we will be interacting every so often throughout the party, so I don't want to let an opportunity go to waste if I feel like the situation is right.

Another question I have is about dancing. If during the party there is a lot of dancing, should I dance with her and use it to get physical and increase the tension between us? Or is it better to try to avoid dancing altogether because it might not help in my case, seeing as I might have to wait awhile to isolate her?

Thanks again for the help.

 

[Franco]

Pato,

So I shouldn't try to isolate her at all during the party if we are flirting and getting physical until the very end? If nobody is paying attention and it's already on between us, but still somewhat early into the night, should I wait it out or use the opportunity to isolate and escalate if it's there? Obviously we will be interacting every so often throughout the party, so I don't want to let an opportunity go to waste if I feel like the situation is right.

If she's the host of the party, all it will take is one person who is looking for her (which will happen quite often if it's her place) to start asking where she is, and then people might start looking for her or texting her or calling her. The main issue here is that these are things she will be thinking about, so she'll be too nervous to try to sneak off knowing that people might be looking for her. And if you try to pull her away once and fail, then your chances of pulling her away at the end of the night go down because you'll be chasing by that point. It's better to build up the intrigue and then close when you know that she's less concerned about who's looking for her.

Another question I have is about dancing. If during the party there is a lot of dancing, should I dance with her and use it to get physical and increase the tension between us? Or is it better to try to avoid dancing altogether because it might not help in my case, seeing as I might have to wait awhile to isolate her?

If it were me, I would just talk to everyone and dance and have a good time on your own. You can dance a bit with other girls too, but don't get too physical with them. Just make them smile and have a good time. If you happen to catch a glance of her on the dance floor, just flash her a sexy smile. If she comes to you and decides to dance on you, then roll with it. Don't get overly physical, but make it fun and enjoyable. If you manage to break the physical barrier on the dance floor, it could assist a bit when you try to escalate later that night.

- Franco

 

[Pato]

If she's the host of the party, all it will take is one person who is looking for her (which will happen quite often if it's her place) to start asking where she is, and then people might start looking for her or texting her or calling her. The main issue here is that these are things she will be thinking about, so she'll be too nervous to try to sneak off knowing that people might be looking for her. And if you try to pull her away once and fail, then your chances of pulling her away at the end of the night go down because you'll be chasing by that point. It's better to build up the intrigue and then close when you know that she's less concerned about who's looking for her.

This makes a lot of sense now. I can definitely see why trying to pull too early will cause problems for me. I actually think that people will be looking for her quite often, and it could really mess up my plans for sure. Your advice has been awesome, so thanks again.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I feel like I might have some problems with LMR. We are all juniors in high school, so most people are relatively inexperienced, just make-outs and handjobs and stuff. Nobody in the social circle has had sex yet, even long-term couples (to my knowledge). I feel like almost everybody in the group thinks that sex is going too far. So if my girl feels the same way, how would I overcome the LMR that I'm going to inevitably face? I know I should set frames of being discrete and non-judgmental, but I'm not quite sure how to deal with it if she won't let me get past a certain point (my hand in her pants, her pants off, etc). Is there a certain way I could escalate with her that will most likely break through the LMR? And if I know that sex won't happen, how far should I go with her if I want to eventually get to sex with her?