NOTE: At the bottom you will find pretty quickly what I'm wondering. Just in case you don't feel like reading everything 
Yesterday I went to a party. Nice place, really packed, starts and finish early, can get in for free if you arrive before 9pm. Perfect. (There is already people there so you can start gaming, building momentum).
I spotted a girl looking at me and then she turned after a little while (she was dancing with 3 more girlfriends on the dance floor). She was really cute and I just went straight up to her. I pre-opened her (I know you can skip this one when you have already made eye contact but her head was facing the other way) and told her:
"You know, I had to come to tell you, you have really beautiful eyes"
The bad thing is I didn't introduce myself and her response was like it's something everybody uses. I think I handle it correctly. I told her something like: "So? If someone tells you something he might mean it. I told you that because I mean it." After little time of small talk she isolated from her group. It was just the two of us now, not a guy talking to a girl within a group. She was close, she initiated the touching (her hand/arm could touch mine). Well, eventually she told me she had to join her friends. I'm still struggling with deep dive, really connect in conversations, make them talk about things that really connects them to me. Although, in this case, I'm pretty sure I fucked up because I didn't escalated fast enough. She rewarded me (by isolating from her group) after opening her and making some small talk. She started the touching. I think this was fast, for sure. I guess I should have escalated faster. Tell her right then to go outside to talk (it was a loud place), something.
I read the post about escalation windows sometime ago but it doesn't give some tips on spotting them. I now there are some obvious ones, and some that are more related to the feel of the moment, but I think some/all interaction must have some obvious signs worth to know.
So, what are some good ways to detect escalation windows? Any common indicators/signs during the interactions (obvious or not)?
Cheers!
Yesterday I went to a party. Nice place, really packed, starts and finish early, can get in for free if you arrive before 9pm. Perfect. (There is already people there so you can start gaming, building momentum).
I spotted a girl looking at me and then she turned after a little while (she was dancing with 3 more girlfriends on the dance floor). She was really cute and I just went straight up to her. I pre-opened her (I know you can skip this one when you have already made eye contact but her head was facing the other way) and told her:
"You know, I had to come to tell you, you have really beautiful eyes"
The bad thing is I didn't introduce myself and her response was like it's something everybody uses. I think I handle it correctly. I told her something like: "So? If someone tells you something he might mean it. I told you that because I mean it." After little time of small talk she isolated from her group. It was just the two of us now, not a guy talking to a girl within a group. She was close, she initiated the touching (her hand/arm could touch mine). Well, eventually she told me she had to join her friends. I'm still struggling with deep dive, really connect in conversations, make them talk about things that really connects them to me. Although, in this case, I'm pretty sure I fucked up because I didn't escalated fast enough. She rewarded me (by isolating from her group) after opening her and making some small talk. She started the touching. I think this was fast, for sure. I guess I should have escalated faster. Tell her right then to go outside to talk (it was a loud place), something.
I read the post about escalation windows sometime ago but it doesn't give some tips on spotting them. I now there are some obvious ones, and some that are more related to the feel of the moment, but I think some/all interaction must have some obvious signs worth to know.
So, what are some good ways to detect escalation windows? Any common indicators/signs during the interactions (obvious or not)?
Cheers!
