Socializing Escalation Windows: Do They Ever Hard Close in Social Circle?

[SMaol]

A lot of discussion on this site revolves around the phenomena of autorejection and escalation windows - generally where the more excited a girl gets about you, the worse the crash afterwards is if you fail to deliver. We also have some excellent articles on how to hook up with friends (usually by keeping them on your periphery).

If a girl in your social circle escalates hard (think:coworker), and you fail to capitalise due to logistics - would the window likely stay closed forever? I had such a incident occur recently. Where following a light period of flirting: a new coworker, cute, seeming a little volatile, practically begged me to join an after-work event. I was a little thrown from the offset at how forward she was being: at the drinks, I found her literally grinding on top of me for the majority of the night as my coworkers stared. I remembered thinking something must be off to make this girl give so little fucks about discretion. I couldn't find a way to isolate without having it obvious to everyone what was going on. Decided: do I want the lay, or do I want to avoid getting conspicuously involved with the volatile girl I work with?

We went our seperate ways as the venue closed. Have since resumed our previous dynamic, though she's become much more closed off since reconnecting with an old flame.
...

My internal frame is that: I'd be interested if she could demonstrate a capability of discretion, which at the time she was not. Is such a one-sided escalation likely to result in autorejection going forward - or is there a scenario that could lead to another window opening as we work together?

 

[Chase]

@SMaol,

As you have seen, yes, they certainly do.

Think of it like this: the wider open the escalation window gets with her, the harder it'll slam shut if you don't jump through.

You had this girl piping hot buyer temperature-wise, making things very obvious with you, then did not take her. From her perspective, that's a hard slap-in-the-face rejection. It sends her straight into auto-rejection.

Back in my novice days where I was doing things like this with girls in social circle because I was learning to get girls chasing blatantly and hard, but still wasn't expecting it when they'd suddenly get really aggressive with me and I'd back off not knowing what to do, I experienced this repeatedly. Girls who were boiling hot for me would go ice cold... I could spend the next year trying to subtly try to warm them back up, and might occasionally get a little glimmer from them, and then it'd be back to frigid ice queens again.

The only thing that consistently works is preselection, as a hard attraction reboot.

However, you can also try an auto-rejection turnaround.

Anyway, moral of the story: if you don't want to bang her then and there, don't let it get so hot... and if she's doing it all on her own, and there's no brakes on that train, then you'd better figure out a way to get her out of there discreetly, or else accept you're probably going to lose that lay.

Chase