Escalation Windows

[Lovelifelivefree]

Hi All,

This is actually my first post. I cant seem to figure out where to put this post in, so here it is and its a problem i'm trying to deal with.

I've read some of the GC articles on escalation windows looking for something that can help my situation. However the answer probably boils down to 'you've just gotta do it' line.
So background on this and why I'm struggling.
I started of actively approaching from bars and moved on from that to everywhere else(street/public transport, strore/mall, airport etc) outside of bars and clubs, not that I don't do them but my best interactions now seem to be everywhere else (by the way the article on this in GC is amazing, i used some of it and is gold, probably skipped a few other bits).

Background on my problem
There was a phase last year where I got myself into thinking about looking for escalation windows and jumping on it. To be honest I had been finding approach windows, escalation windows (kiss/ move) and window for sex in my interactions. What I realized that at times its overwhelmingly fast that I feel she cant be serious. I'll give an example on two different windows that I felt 1: I met a polish girl in the bus and it wasn't a minute(trust me probably less than 10 secs) into the interaction that I felt I should be kissing her now; 2: i had spent time with her before chatting but we were walking into a mall on an escalator and I felt that we should be fucking now, i literally looked at her with the face "you cant be serious" and response - she asks me with big smile and surprised eyes "What!", Funny enough 2 mins later she asked me if i'd be walking her home; I actually declined (some bull shit answer to her) because earlier she actually told me she had a partner that she was living with (different conversation chains) and didn't make any sense to me as to why the fuck she would have asked me, while I was actually thinking of taking her back to my place.

Now in all recent times what I feel i'm stuck at is there were a few times when I went for what I felt/thought of kiss and pull windows and she backed off. A girl even gave shit to me for trying to kiss her, i'm not kidding. Having this a few times in a row has put a dent in my confidence to be able to move forward. Take note that I don't have any problems with escalating/touching, so it kind of amazes me that she would refuse. What this has led to is i'm failing on girls that I normally would have got just because i'm missing this windows by not acting on it and then she turns cold or suddenly makes it harder for me to do anything and everything just goes haywire / weird whatever and I just say to myself time to move on and find someone else. This as a result has suddenly made extremely hard for me and i'm struggling and finding that it flows on to the next approach or whatever.

Any thoughts,helps, baby step guide whatever from the experts here would be much appreciated.

Cheers

 

[Seppuku]

Hello LLLF,

There is a confusion I am sometimes seeing in these boards, and that may be the problem here. There are two different concepts at play here.

Approach invitation. These are subtle hints that the girl is giving to invite you to approach her. They are transient and should usually acted on right away. By nature you will never know for sure if it's real or not. The rule of thumb here is to trust your intuition. If it feels like an approach invitation, it probably is, so just go for it, and go for it right now.

Attraction window. This is the time period between your first interaction with the girl, and the moment she decides (more or less consciously) you're not that sort of man, and her sexual interest vanishes. Your goal is to seduce her - and escalate to sex - before the window expires. Most of the time you have a few days in front of you. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. The time window also depends on how good with girls she perceives you. The better she thinks you are, the shorter the window - from my experience at least.

So, according to this, you have two minutes to act on an approach invitation, but a few more days to fully conclude things.

But don't confuse both! Normally even if a girl is sexually attracted to you, she will still need emotional connection and physical comfort before following you to the bed. In my experience there is at least one or two hours of face time before she is ready to come with me. Some of the most advanced guys here (like Drexel) are so good that they manage to skip even this step, but they have ten years or more of seduction experience. Until you reach that level, don't skip the connection building step. Or risk creeping them away.

I hope this helps!
Seppuku

 

[Lovelifelivefree]

Hi Seppuku,

Thanks for your reply. I think I kinda get your answer, which is essentially slow down a little bit, perhaps to some extent I'm pushing a bit faster (example 1 is what causes me to - I've lost a few girls that I was interested in where I didn't move extremely fast - this is a 1 out of 20/50 approach situation and not common).

I should have elaborated a bit on my reference example. They are two different girls in two different situations.
For the first girl in the bus, yes it was approach invitation, however what I found interesting, the reason I gave this particular reference example is if I was 30mins-hour into talking with her and go for the kiss, that is exactly what I felt 3 seconds into being in her proximity. I've had this with a few other approaches, its rare like maybe once in a month but I get this need to kiss her feeling. Its not common in any of my normal approaches.

For the second girl, it was the third time(ran into her) i was meeting her where the second time was a coffee date(p.s: I should have closed here) where I already had built an emotional connection and comfort and I was going for the close on the third, it was a mess on the logistics as I was living 30 mins away from where we were at and she was 5 mins walk away. I couldn't think of an idea at the time where I avoid her live in boyfriend situation and also move to a secluded location She kissed me on the cheek as we parted ways.. Needless to say she doesn't respond to me in any way whatsoever now after the third meeting. Ship has sailed!

cheers

 

[Seppuku]

Hey,

I guess my point is, act instantly on approach invitations, but don't skip the required emotional connection building before attempting seduction. It seems to me that you have the right mindset and a good idea of what you're doing anyway.

Just be careful that kissing the girl early sometimes kills the sexual tension and turns out counterproductive. I understand your urge to kiss her (girl 1) but it's best to control the urge, keep the tension building up, connect with the girl, and defer kissing to the late stages.

I don't have a comment on your second girl. Logistics is a big thing in fact. It's your job to figure it out, preferably before the date. So that you come to the date with a clear plan. An experienced seducer usually have a plan beforehand. With more experience, he has enough data points on his learning curve to be able to improvise a plan if needed. Until getting to this level, it is best to have a plan for the date beforehand.

I hope this helps!
Seppuku
PS. "Ship has sailed". End of escalation window. We all know the feeling.

 

[RockstarBalance]

LoveLifeLiveFree...

Keep in mind that when it comes to Women, her Emotions Right NOW are all that matter - so if you miss the escalation window, it takes a huge dip in your Attraction, if GO FOR IT, she might add resistance, but that's just a Test to see if you Deserve to be sliding in her Pussy or not... hold your Frame! And know that you made the right move, after going for a Kiss, always smile, even if you missed it, cause that shows Confidence! Never be apologetic or flinch, let her know that you meant it.
And as far as going for the Kiss, it's easier if you're rubbing her Pussy first, or Kissing her Neck, turning her on in SOME sort of way... before Kissing her!

Always Solve The Logistics
before making strong Sexual Moves...
Logistics are Everything, Logistics Are King

~RockstarBalance