- Joined
- Jul 20, 2015
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- 1,532
last night i was hanging with 2 people from my hometown. one of them is a longtime friend, K and the agreed upon alpha of the group. the other is a recent acquaintance of mine, J. He is a good friend of K.
J and i were testing each other for dominance all night, which is to be expected....we needed to know where we all stood in this 3 person hierarchy.
at the start of the night, i smoked a ton of weed and got way too high. i went outside and walked around doing meditation for ages to control myself from greening out.
when i went back inside, i was still in an awful state. my body language and verbals were super awkward - in fact i noticed i was acting submissive compared to the other guys. and i was unable to get out of this state. as a result, they were tooling me pretty heavy. my behavior was so bad that K asked me if i thought i looked more like my mom or my dad. i mentioned people usually say i look like my mom. he agreed. i viewed this as him subcomming that i was acting submissively.
but as the weed wore off, i felt my normal self again, and started to regain control. it was time to make some headway back from this submissive state.
as i was standing watching the hockey game while J and K played pool ...i started adjusting my posture and presence.....taking up more space...grounding my centre of gravity....being more slow and deliberate with my movements...reconfiguring my thought patterns. i caught the attention of J ....he noticed this change and started giving me more looks.
then, i made one extra minor tweak to my mindset: i started perceiving all behavior through a duality. i saw all behavior as either dominant, or submissive. no in between. on top of that, i perceived all their behavior as submissive. as soon as i adopted this mindset, J started looking at me even more and his facial expressions changed to a little dismissive. this one small tweak seemed to make all the difference.
later on, after a bit more testing between each other, as we were watching TV, i moved towards being attainable with him. there was one moment where i felt i had complete control over his emotions....after we connected a bit, i made him laugh. but i did not share the laugh with him. i did not react. i completely avoided eye contact as he was looking at me. i knew it was cold and unattainable of me, and it didnt feel good to him, especially after developing this connection. immediately i did a complete 180. i turned to him and became extremely attuned with his way of being. mimicing his facial expressions, vocal tones, body language, overall being empathetic to him, and we shared a great moment.
my understanding, awareness and behavior hit god mode in that moment.... i showcased real dominance, and he respected me for it
J and i were testing each other for dominance all night, which is to be expected....we needed to know where we all stood in this 3 person hierarchy.
at the start of the night, i smoked a ton of weed and got way too high. i went outside and walked around doing meditation for ages to control myself from greening out.
when i went back inside, i was still in an awful state. my body language and verbals were super awkward - in fact i noticed i was acting submissive compared to the other guys. and i was unable to get out of this state. as a result, they were tooling me pretty heavy. my behavior was so bad that K asked me if i thought i looked more like my mom or my dad. i mentioned people usually say i look like my mom. he agreed. i viewed this as him subcomming that i was acting submissively.
but as the weed wore off, i felt my normal self again, and started to regain control. it was time to make some headway back from this submissive state.
as i was standing watching the hockey game while J and K played pool ...i started adjusting my posture and presence.....taking up more space...grounding my centre of gravity....being more slow and deliberate with my movements...reconfiguring my thought patterns. i caught the attention of J ....he noticed this change and started giving me more looks.
then, i made one extra minor tweak to my mindset: i started perceiving all behavior through a duality. i saw all behavior as either dominant, or submissive. no in between. on top of that, i perceived all their behavior as submissive. as soon as i adopted this mindset, J started looking at me even more and his facial expressions changed to a little dismissive. this one small tweak seemed to make all the difference.
later on, after a bit more testing between each other, as we were watching TV, i moved towards being attainable with him. there was one moment where i felt i had complete control over his emotions....after we connected a bit, i made him laugh. but i did not share the laugh with him. i did not react. i completely avoided eye contact as he was looking at me. i knew it was cold and unattainable of me, and it didnt feel good to him, especially after developing this connection. immediately i did a complete 180. i turned to him and became extremely attuned with his way of being. mimicing his facial expressions, vocal tones, body language, overall being empathetic to him, and we shared a great moment.
my understanding, awareness and behavior hit god mode in that moment.... i showcased real dominance, and he respected me for it
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