Ex girlfriend suddenly comes backs..

[Sam Dray]

The heading says it all..

Out of nowhere I get a text from my ex that says:
"I miss you so bad, I don't know what to do, I just want you"

I'm really not sure how to handle this, because she has a boyfriend. I've been out approaching other girls (even though I lack Field Reports), and this is not the first text of this kind, that I've received from her.

The other text was an answer to my question when we recently spoke for no reason, in which she says she still wants do a lot of things with/to me (making out, etc).

Once more, I'm not sure how to handle this, and the funny thing is, she never mentions her boyfriend, whenever we run into each other.

Anyway, what do guys suggest?

Note: We've both made clear to each other that we DO NOT want to get back together.

 

[ray_zorse]

Well, it sounds like she wants to downgrade from relationship to FWB relationship... which if you tried to do as a guy, would cause lots of drama and tears and shit tests on her part, but if initiated by the girl is probably fine. After all, FWB relationship is basically ideal for the guy, it's just not ideal for the girl from a reproductive point of view.

So, there's no reason why you can't hang out with her, isolate and escalate... thing is I would caution you to treat it as a seduction, rather than a slam dunk, because even if she does feel this way late at night and sends you a text, there's no guarantee she'll still feel that way when you meet her up for "coffee" or whatever. But you can try.

Next question is, do you really want to? Well I can see a lot of downsides. You broke up for a reason... what is that reason? Did it develop into a codependent relationship and a breakup punctuated by drama and fights? In that case, NO, don't fuck around with her. If you just amicably agreed it wasn't a priority and went your separate ways... then there might be no harm in resuming. Also, did she initiate the breakup or did you? Was it because you didn't want to take the next step with her? In that case it may be kinder not to fuck with her emotions by continuing things. Or on the other hand if you broke up the relationship, maybe it's best to be strict and stick to your decision?

End of the day really, I think the question is can you keep her at arms length in FWB relationship? If you don't have strong feelings for her, then it might be possible I think. Overall I'm leaning towards thinking she's too attached to you and SHE won't be able to keep things at arms length, and so overall my recommendation would be DON'T.

Ray