[Eye contact] 2 opposed advices by 2 coach (Chase Vs Jhon Alexender)

[Witcher]

Hi all

I was recently making a second read of what i think are the 2 best books about seduction.
-How to Make Girls chase - Chase Amante
-How to become alpha male - Jhon Alexender

Advices are good and are pretty the same in many areas , exept one. And that is the Eye conatc in teh repective fundamentls section of the two books. The weird thig is that they are just complet oppostion. The advice about what to do when you are the listener in one , are the advice about what to do when you are the speaker in the other!!!
I have tested the both, but i'm nit able the say wich one is the best!

So anyone could explaine me why there is this complet opposed advice about the same thing?

Here the 2 quotes:

From How to become alpha male - Jhon Alexender

18) Shifting your eyes back and forth when you speak.
That’s very beta. When you’re in a conversation and you’re
doing the talking, gaze at the other person’s face.
Nonverbally, this communicates that that you say is
important and worth listening to.
19) Holding too much eye contact when the other person
speaks. Ignore the dating advice books that tell you to hold
non-stop eye contact. Non-stop eye contact makes you look
needy, socially retarded, and, frankly, like a weirdo. Instead
let your eyes blur and then gaze at her eyes. Look through
her rather than at her. From extensive testing, I've found
that gazing at a woman about two-thirds of the time is
optimal. By the way, only hold the gaze when she's telling

From How to make girls chase :

Maintain eye contact most of the time when you are the
listener. You should be giving the speaker more eye contact
than she is giving you (e.g., she looks away; you continue to
look a little while before looking away). Do not stare
indefinitely when eye contact is averted. If a speaker looks
away frequently, or for long stretches of time, avert your eyes
when she is doing so to avoid coming across as staring.
• When you are the speaker, maintain eye contact about 70%
of the time, and avert it 30% of the time. Giving someone
100% eye contact while you speak makes her feel like you are
trying to force her to pay attention, so be sure to avert your
eyes at points while speaking to give the conversation a more
natural, relaxed feel.

Thanks

 

[Franco]

Witcher,

I'm not sure where you got the idea that the advice is completely the opposite. It sounds like they are giving pretty much the same advice to me.

Under no circumstances (being the speaker or the listener) should you ever stare into a girl's eyes non-stop. There always should be moments where you look away (and usually smile while you do if she made a comment that was funny or that you can relate to) and there should be moments where you stare and listen intently, sometimes even nodding your head if you agree.

All Alexander is saying is that you should never "stare non-stop" during the entire conversation, and Chase's advice mostly mirrors this. In fact, if anything, I would make sure to add to Alexander's point in number 18 that you should occasionally avert your eyes away as to not intimidate the girl -- although Chase already mentions this. This might have been implied by Alexander's comment, but he didn't state it directly. Chase's advice is more detailed.

- Franco

 

[Flames]

Actually the advice is almost identical Chase says 70%, the other guy says 2/3 (or 66%).

However as with everything you have to play about with it and find your ideal amount, me I probably go in a little heavy, (85%+) which I do as a deliberate attempt to push things. It can be as weird as it can be amazing re: Waitress girl in my journal. It helps if you have nice eyes to start with however and although I have no idea what that is. I have been told my eyes sparkle/change colour/are very bright/large pupils etc etc. So I'm guessing I have a natural advantage with eye contact.

When I first started out I started everything and everyone down, this I've smoothed off a bit, but I still believe the only way to get it right (for you) is to risk creepy, and just learn to roll with whatever happens next, and not worry about it.

Also I've noticed some girls will just gaze into your eyes almost almost Indefinately, whereas some will hardly look at all. Reciprocate with similar amounts. Dont stare down a girl who has fleeting eye contact you'll just scare them off. Sometimes strong eye contact can be slightly smoothed by a slight head tilt (as if your curious) but that's getting into a complicated area.

Hope that gives you something to think about.

 

[Witcher]

Witcher,

I'm not sure where you got the idea that the advice is completely the opposite. It sounds like they are giving pretty much the same advice to me.

Under no circumstances (being the speaker or the listener) should you ever stare into a girl's eyes non-stop. There always should be moments where you look away (and usually smile while you do if she made a comment that was funny or that you can relate to) and there should be moments where you stare and listen intently, sometimes even nodding your head if you agree.

All Alexander is saying is that you should never "stare non-stop" during the entire conversation, and Chase's advice mostly mirrors this. In fact, if anything, I would make sure to add to Alexander's point in number 18 that you should occasionally avert your eyes away as to not intimidate the girl -- although Chase already mentions this. This might have been implied by Alexander's comment, but he didn't state it directly. Chase's advice is more detailed.

- Franco

It seems that i was a little dogmatic about it. I find them in truth, just little opposed:

When you are the listener , Chase advice is to make EC most of the times, more that the speaker, but Alexender say to give him the less!!
When you are the speaker, Chase advice to give him less eye contact, and alexender to stare at him...

Here i think that chase advcie is more "normal" , after little try, and i think that his alos focus on connection between 2 persons rather than on domianance!