- Joined
- Apr 5, 2025
- Messages
- 229
I am not in my small approaching city, but the city where I live where I don't often approach and on a day off from work.
My mind is on leg day and I do not feel like talking to anyone at all. On my way up to the entrance, I see this brunette with absolutely naughty figure dressed in tight gym gear and a tattoo on her shoulder, confirming she is a minimum of 18 since her face looked slightly young. So I walk right past her and go into the gym, see there is no squat rack available, then have 2nd thoughts...
Yesterday's backstory that pushed me to do the approach
However, yesterday, after a shift at work (I work in my small approaching city) and then going to the gym, I hit the high street. Just as I was sitting down on a chair outside an expensive restaurant, I let an absolute beauty ( tatted, tanned, brunette, Mediterranean looking) get away, because I was tired from a work shift and the gym afterwards, I was sat down (momentum is real) so I half heartedly, after thinking about it for a few seconds, gave chase, but only from walking fast, not jogging. The girl looks back (I got paranoid and thought she might have noticed that a creep is following her) so I got into my head and semi broke off pursuit, then I walked down to the canal that runs through the city where tourists often snap pictures of the beautiful view.
I tell myself "if she comes past, that is a 2nd chance" and sure enough, she comes past, but she was eating a sandwich and resistance to approach was already high from earlier hesitation. So I just looked gawked at her. I wondered, if she noticed I had designs on her or was completely oblivious. She didn't seem to particularly notice or be bothered as she devoured her sandwich.
You see, tiredness is real and I find I need a huge amount of energy to overcome approach anxiety. Before approaching, I need a spring in my step. The exception is if a girl is standing around, which you will see, in the below field report.
And, ironically, I decided to hit the gym today instead of after work, to see if I can get a couple of approaches in after my shift tomorrow, when I am in my small approaching city.
Back to today's approach
So, remember I walked right past the girl without saying a word and then accessed the gym? I had to go back out through the gym barrier to the wall dividing the pedestrian walkway from the carpark.
The girl was leaning against the wall. She was fully not expecting to be approached.
I said "Excuse me, I had just seen you and thought you looked very beautiful".
I could see her face change as I said that. It came as a surprise. Suddenly, she looked anxious.
So I said, "I just thought I should pay you a compliment, that's all". One thing I've noticed is, when you have to "break the 4th wall" it is not the sign of a good approach.
And then I further plowed with "anyway, you look like you are waiting for someone".
She replied with
"Yes, I am just taking a break from my workout". The tension was palpable as she assessed the situation.
Luckily for both of us and in a bizarre coincidence, my phone rang (which hardly ever happens) which defused the situation and may have even made her think I had come out as I was expecting a phone call. So I took the phone call (it was from a job agency I had signed up to) and went back inside, ignoring the girl.
But the interaction points to a deeper issue.
Standing sets.
I don't know what a good low pressure opener is. I am too stuck with direct compliments. For me to approach a standing set, when I am not mentally warmed up, is a big ask.
You can see, there was nothing productive about today's approach. I even had to tell the girl what I was doing. I can't see it converting to a phone number, let alone a date.
Unless the girl's face lights up, all signs say to eject from the interaction before things get really awkward.
My mind is on leg day and I do not feel like talking to anyone at all. On my way up to the entrance, I see this brunette with absolutely naughty figure dressed in tight gym gear and a tattoo on her shoulder, confirming she is a minimum of 18 since her face looked slightly young. So I walk right past her and go into the gym, see there is no squat rack available, then have 2nd thoughts...
Yesterday's backstory that pushed me to do the approach
However, yesterday, after a shift at work (I work in my small approaching city) and then going to the gym, I hit the high street. Just as I was sitting down on a chair outside an expensive restaurant, I let an absolute beauty ( tatted, tanned, brunette, Mediterranean looking) get away, because I was tired from a work shift and the gym afterwards, I was sat down (momentum is real) so I half heartedly, after thinking about it for a few seconds, gave chase, but only from walking fast, not jogging. The girl looks back (I got paranoid and thought she might have noticed that a creep is following her) so I got into my head and semi broke off pursuit, then I walked down to the canal that runs through the city where tourists often snap pictures of the beautiful view.
I tell myself "if she comes past, that is a 2nd chance" and sure enough, she comes past, but she was eating a sandwich and resistance to approach was already high from earlier hesitation. So I just looked gawked at her. I wondered, if she noticed I had designs on her or was completely oblivious. She didn't seem to particularly notice or be bothered as she devoured her sandwich.
You see, tiredness is real and I find I need a huge amount of energy to overcome approach anxiety. Before approaching, I need a spring in my step. The exception is if a girl is standing around, which you will see, in the below field report.
And, ironically, I decided to hit the gym today instead of after work, to see if I can get a couple of approaches in after my shift tomorrow, when I am in my small approaching city.
Back to today's approach
So, remember I walked right past the girl without saying a word and then accessed the gym? I had to go back out through the gym barrier to the wall dividing the pedestrian walkway from the carpark.
The girl was leaning against the wall. She was fully not expecting to be approached.
I said "Excuse me, I had just seen you and thought you looked very beautiful".
I could see her face change as I said that. It came as a surprise. Suddenly, she looked anxious.
So I said, "I just thought I should pay you a compliment, that's all". One thing I've noticed is, when you have to "break the 4th wall" it is not the sign of a good approach.
And then I further plowed with "anyway, you look like you are waiting for someone".
She replied with
"Yes, I am just taking a break from my workout". The tension was palpable as she assessed the situation.
Luckily for both of us and in a bizarre coincidence, my phone rang (which hardly ever happens) which defused the situation and may have even made her think I had come out as I was expecting a phone call. So I took the phone call (it was from a job agency I had signed up to) and went back inside, ignoring the girl.
But the interaction points to a deeper issue.
Standing sets.
I don't know what a good low pressure opener is. I am too stuck with direct compliments. For me to approach a standing set, when I am not mentally warmed up, is a big ask.
You can see, there was nothing productive about today's approach. I even had to tell the girl what I was doing. I can't see it converting to a phone number, let alone a date.
Unless the girl's face lights up, all signs say to eject from the interaction before things get really awkward.
