- Joined
- Jul 13, 2016
- Messages
- 1
TL;DR Took a girl’s number on a quick cold approach. Texted her, I thought I was doing well, she seemed enthousiatic and compliant, but still she flaked by finding excuses to not meet up. Looking for feedback on my texts.
Approach :
Paris, Thursday around midnight. Coming home after seeing the Euro 2016 semi-final with a friend I’m hosting for a few days. Half the city went out to watch it in various places, and France won, so everybody is in a frenzy. In the subway car we were shouting victorious chants with other random supporters. I noticed a girl smiling, visibly having fun looking at these crazy shouting people.
She gets off at the same station than us. I go up to her, walking :
(dialogs from memory, very approximative but you get the idea)
So it was a first for me, I don’t approach much and never that cold, so I was quite happy with my boldness. Thought I was smooth, and clear in my intentions. The interaction was very fast though, so I thought she would flake.
Texts (translated from French):
I assume the last excuse is BS. She’s in an internship, she might get out an hour later than usual but not spend her evening at work. Also keep in mind that we live just a few blocks from each other, we could have met up easily even late or even if she was “tired”. I don't buy the "I never look at my phone at work" either.
Overall IMO she was very compliant (even seemed to suggest the meetup at the fanzone, and revived the convo at midnight one day), yet she avoided the meetup. I think she lost attraction during the convo and kept pretending somehow. I’m looking for insights as to why, and what I could have done differently.
My own thoughts, tell me if I’m wrong :
- I tried really hard to keep a good time between texts, but kinda “lost the battle” (she waited even more). I know that texting too fast is not good, at the same time if the girl takes 12h each time to answer, the date will be setup like a week after the initial meet, and I’ll probably have lost attraction by then, right ? I don’t know how to find the balance there.
- Convo was way too long, but again it’s because I couldn’t make a date work, so it took way too much days
- I feel like I’m a bit begging for a date in the convo, but again I don’t know how to set up date without doing that if she acts unavailable
- Maybe I am too predictable ? I said I would suggest something sunday or the next week, and I did exactly that for the sunday and then the monday and tuesday. Would I have had better chances if I did something like not answer for 3 days after the first failed suggestion, and then suggest suddenly another date out of the blue when she thinks it’s over ?
- Maybe, maybe, seeing how the approach was a bit bold and fast, and how we live close, she would have expected something bolder, like just tell her to come to my place the next day ? I didn’t want to take the risk, is it realistic ?
Approach :
Paris, Thursday around midnight. Coming home after seeing the Euro 2016 semi-final with a friend I’m hosting for a few days. Half the city went out to watch it in various places, and France won, so everybody is in a frenzy. In the subway car we were shouting victorious chants with other random supporters. I noticed a girl smiling, visibly having fun looking at these crazy shouting people.
She gets off at the same station than us. I go up to her, walking :
(dialogs from memory, very approximative but you get the idea)
So it was a first for me, I don’t approach much and never that cold, so I was quite happy with my boldness. Thought I was smooth, and clear in my intentions. The interaction was very fast though, so I thought she would flake.
Texts (translated from French):
No news after that.M the next day at 7pm
Hello F.-from-the-Subway, it’s the handsome guy from [name of the subway station] talking to you. did you get home alright ?
F 9.45pm
Ha ha that’s an original introduction
And what’s your name by the way handsome guy from [name of the subway station] ? ^^
Well I lived just 50m from where we met so not easy but I did ok, and you ?
M 11.59pm
Ok too, we shouted “we are not tired” a few times again in the street and then I went straight to sleep ;p I’m M.
F the next day 11.30am
Nice to meet you ! Good then you’ll be able to repeat that tomorrow [= the next day is the final]and if you go to the fanzone you’ll be able to sing that with 100000 people
M 00.14pm
Actually my buddy went back to [his city], I was going to suggest to go see the final together. Do you really want to go to the fanzone ? There are really nice places in our neighborhood
F 3.51pm
Oh sorry I said my friends I was going with them at the fanzone :/
But I don’t doubt there are really nice places in our neighborhood ^^
M 4.21pm
Ok no prob we’ll go grab a drink next week, I’m not really tempted by the fanzone
[it’s very crowded and I would be stuck there for several hours with her friends]
M two days later, Monday, 1.23pm
[France lost]
Did you too cry last night while cursing the Portuguese ?
F 7.50pm
Yes so sad
M 7.56pm
You don’t check your phone often do you
I wanted to suggest to see each other tonight or tomorrow but I got the feeling you’ll reply in 48h :/
F 7.58pm
Haha yeah no when I’m working I never look at it
M 8.04pm
OK. Get out on time tomorrow, tell your bosses you have a date with a guy you met in the subway, works everytime
M. 8.13pm
8.30pm tomorrow at [name of the same station], deal ?
F. 8.19pm
Yeah but it’s like the fifth time I use this line I’m not sure it will work ...
F. 00.09am
Haha hey I was just kidding, are you gonna be the one not replying to me now ? ^^
M 00.45am
Haha no I laughed but I had nothing to had
F the next day 5.56pm
You’re gonna hate me but my manager just set us an appointment tonight so impossible to know when I’ll get out … Sorry :///
M 6.01pm
OK I’ll go to my gym. If you get out not that late tell me we can still make it
I assume the last excuse is BS. She’s in an internship, she might get out an hour later than usual but not spend her evening at work. Also keep in mind that we live just a few blocks from each other, we could have met up easily even late or even if she was “tired”. I don't buy the "I never look at my phone at work" either.
Overall IMO she was very compliant (even seemed to suggest the meetup at the fanzone, and revived the convo at midnight one day), yet she avoided the meetup. I think she lost attraction during the convo and kept pretending somehow. I’m looking for insights as to why, and what I could have done differently.
My own thoughts, tell me if I’m wrong :
- I tried really hard to keep a good time between texts, but kinda “lost the battle” (she waited even more). I know that texting too fast is not good, at the same time if the girl takes 12h each time to answer, the date will be setup like a week after the initial meet, and I’ll probably have lost attraction by then, right ? I don’t know how to find the balance there.
- Convo was way too long, but again it’s because I couldn’t make a date work, so it took way too much days
- I feel like I’m a bit begging for a date in the convo, but again I don’t know how to set up date without doing that if she acts unavailable
- Maybe I am too predictable ? I said I would suggest something sunday or the next week, and I did exactly that for the sunday and then the monday and tuesday. Would I have had better chances if I did something like not answer for 3 days after the first failed suggestion, and then suggest suddenly another date out of the blue when she thinks it’s over ?
- Maybe, maybe, seeing how the approach was a bit bold and fast, and how we live close, she would have expected something bolder, like just tell her to come to my place the next day ? I didn’t want to take the risk, is it realistic ?
