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Failing to get compliance

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 14, 2013
Messages
1,016
Hey guys,

So I haven't been going out for the past 1-2 weeks because I was on a holiday, but now I'm in Sydney for a few days, I'm hitting it hard. Chatted with probably at least 20 girls today. I was practicing getting compliance, and it was harder than I thought. A pattern emerges, which makes me wonder what I did wrong.

There were two girls who walked away immediately after I asked them to move a few feet to the side, and there was at least some vibing going on.
Girl 1
I was pretty warmed up when I met her. Opened her indirect direct. She was warm and receptive, but I was a little bored in the conversation. After about 3-4 mins, I suggested we moved to the shade because of the sun. She declined because she was waiting for her friend, so I suggested we move a little to the side. So I turned around and walked towards it without waiting for her answer. Then I turned my head, her friend's here and she's already walking away without looking back. hahaha wtf? I walked away as if nothing happened.

Girl 2
She was a little cold in the beginning. (A pretty common reaction here in the CBD. I know it's not personal, because people get stopped by charity workers, homeless people a lot. It makes u learn how to persist, otherwise most of the time you'll get "cold blowout", where they don't even acknowledge u, which can be extremely harsh for newbies ) She kept walking as I opened her, then she stopped to ask me for direction. I told her I don't know since it's my first day here, then she started to warm up. We chatted for a bit. Deep diving and teasing here and there. Just when I thought the vibe was good. I told her let's move over here, which is only a couple of meters to the side. I started moving and didn't wait for her answer, but I heard she said "pfft", then I turned my head and she already walked away like the girl above. lol? what happened here? not even a "sorry I gotta go".

For Girl 1, I think I could've try again later when I didn't get compliance the first time, instead of asking her for a similar compliance immediately (The "no ladder"). For girl 2, I'm guessing maybe next time I could maintain eye contact while moving her but this shouldn't be that hard right? Maybe I just screen them out early?
Any advice on this is appreciated. Thanks =)
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
Smith,

For Girl 1, I think I could've try again later when I didn't get compliance the first time, instead of asking her for a similar compliance immediately

It can usually be a good idea to address her objection with something logical (but in a smiling, playful way)

i.e.

You: "Let's move to the shade over here for a bit because the sun is definitely beating down on us right here."
Her: "I'm okay; I'm waiting for my friend right here."
You: "Well, I'm sure your friend doesn't want to come back to a toasty red version of you! Let's just stand in the shade for a second. She'll definitely still find you here."
Her: "...haha, okay."

If you can inject a bit of humor to disarm her a bit, that always helps. But at the very least, you can give her "the path of least resistance" which is saying "yes, standing in the sun is not as good as standing in the shade when my friend can clearly still see me anyway."

For girl 2, I'm guessing maybe next time I could maintain eye contact while moving her but this shouldn't be that hard right? Maybe I just screen them out early?

I generally like to move with the girl if at all possible. It might be demanding a little too much for her to just follow you unless the vibe is astoundingly good. I would probably lightly put my hand on her shoulder or elbow as if you were kind of "guiding" her movement with you so that she walks with you. Ideally you move together with her and then continue conversation right away so that she barely notices that you just moved her.

Basically, imagine that you're on a busy street (think New York City) and you're trying to talk to someone who you just crossed paths with, but there are people trying to get around you constantly. You realize during the conversation that you're in a bad spot, so you quickly suggest, "hey, let's move out of the way here for a bit so we aren't blocking people," but you don't just leave her standing there and walk away... you use your hand to guide her through the crowd "with" you so that she feels like you're not breaking circle with her.

Hope that helps!

- Franco
 

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 14, 2013
Messages
1,016
Thanks Franco,

Franco said:
I generally like to move with the girl if at all possible. It might be demanding a little too much for her to just follow you unless the vibe is astoundingly good. I would probably lightly put my hand on her shoulder or elbow as if you were kind of "guiding" her movement with you so that she walks with you. Ideally you move together with her and then continue conversation right away so that she barely notices that you just moved her.

Basically, imagine that you're on a busy street (think New York City) and you're trying to talk to someone who you just crossed paths with, but there are people trying to get around you constantly. You realize during the conversation that you're in a bad spot, so you quickly suggest, "hey, let's move out of the way here for a bit so we aren't blocking people," but you don't just leave her standing there and walk away... you use your hand to guide her through the crowd "with" you so that she feels like you're not breaking circle

Yes, that makes sense. I didn't realize I was breaking the circle, and another mistake I realized was that I suggested we move after a thread seem to have finished. Sometimes, the girl would still give me an objection, like "but I have to go to XX". I would persist her to stay for a couple of minutes, but then I could tell she really wanted to go. or we'll exchange number, and I most likely never hear from her again because the initial interaction was too short. Any idea how to deal with these? or best to let them go.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
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