Fear makes you waste your life!

[Mr.Rob]

Okay so I'm pretty good at not wasting time thinking about girls I meet after I meet them and very good at not wasting time talking about pointless shit that doesn't move the interaction forward but I have this shitty fear of calling girls that drives me mad. I'm sure some of you can relate? Or maybe not maybe you talk better on the phone then you do in person. If your someone that hums and haws before making the phone call trying to think of what to say think about this.

Every time I'm about to call a girl I always get so stuck in my head, its like the first cold approach all over again. You know thinking about what your going to say, what she's going to say back, what your voice sounds like, try and think of the perfect vibe to summon before calling only to have it get completely destroyed once you press send. Yeah you know who you are. I have bad news gents I literally wasted an hour of my life that I will never get back trying to get "in state" and think about how I'm going to come across, and look up all the phone calling posts that I read every time I'm about to phone a girl. This should have taken me 30 seconds but no it took me an hour! What madness! In this time I could have knocked out a homework assignment, finished the book I'm reading, or write my goals for the week. My warrior voice in the back of my head kicked in and I knew it was time to face my fears and quit wasting time wondering if I'm in state yet. So I let go of all expectations of how I wanted the call to go and I simply pressed send. The whole time I'm pretending I'm looking an adversary in the eye (fear) and not backing down to see who would win. She didn't answer but I still faced my fear. Fuck an hour of potentially productive time wasted away thinking about a phone call that didn't even answer. I was literally being controlled by hopeful expectations and outcome dependence.

What I took away from this experience was that fear is always trying to take control of our actions and limit us to living a life of mediocrity on a daily basis. We have to be prepared to fight everyday to overcome our shared adversary of fear and every time we kill another fear enemy a new more powerful one takes its place. This means the only way to live a life better than mediocrity is to become a warrior and fight daily to break free of the constraints that fear is trying to put on our lives. Even if it's something as stupid as making a phone call lol.

By the way she called back 10 min. later asking who it was (she never save my number even after sending an icebreaker text) and when I told her in a deep sexy voice who I was an where we met she promptly said "ohh" and hung up on me. Shoot if I knew she wasn't even that into me I wouldn't have wasted an hour trying to get into state .

 

[Franco]

Rob,

I actually had (and still somewhat have) a fear of phone calls as well. There's something about making a phone call that actually worries me more than talking to someone in person. My job has actually helped me get over a lot of that because I've had to make a lot of phone calls, but dealing with women over phone calls still makes me a bit uneasy sometimes.

Luckily, I've found that you shouldn't have to make phone calls at all! I cut out phone calls pretty early into my seduction routine when Chase mentioned that they were rather pointless and unnecessary in this day and age. A few good text messages is all you need, and text messages actually put a lot less pressure on the girl to respond the way she wants to. Phone calls put her on the spot, and often times she may be busy when you decide to do it.

Just stick to texting and this will be one of those fears you can put behind you.

- Franco

 

[Mr.Rob]

Thanks for the input Franco, I think your right on point with that note. I guess if she doesn't respond back to your texts she probably wasn't all that interested in the first place. It is a weird phenomena when you get more anxiety from calling a girl you approached than the actual approach itself, Wikipedia says this is the cause:

Fear and cause[edit]

The fear of telephones can range from the action or thought of answering and receiving calls to the actual ringing produced by the telephone. The ringing sound can generate a string of anxieties, characterized by thoughts associated with having to speak, perform and converse.[2] Many of those suffering from this phobia may perceive the other end as threatening or intimidating,[5] or may worry about finding an appropriate time to call, in fear of being a nuisance. Another source of anxiety comes from the lack of body language, which no longer becomes available through the telephone and results in the individual losing their sense of control.[6] Past experiences, such as overhearing something traumatic or an unpleasant and angry call, may also play a part in creating fear.[2] Sufferers typically report fear that they would fail to respond appropriately in a telephone conversation,[1] and fear finding nothing to say, which would end in embarrassing silence, stammering, or stuttering.[1] The associated avoidance behavior includes asking others (e.g. relatives at home) to take their phone calls and exclusive use of answering machines.[1]

Another reason is the sufferers may believe that people who call them bear bad or upsetting news, or that the person on the other end may be a prank caller.