Feeling depressed after ons

[mrgil]

So here is the question.

For a long time now, i've wanted to quit drinking when I go out to meet girls.
I've yet to start doing it of course, but ive wanted for a long time because its a really bad habit, and it just make you feel worse and worse.


So this weekend I was out two nights in a row, got drunk both of the nigths and went home with what I consider
"sub-par" women, not excatly pretty and a bit on the heavy side.
Ive met and slept with many women and have had lots of drunk sex, but the women have rarely been this "heavy" and "below my standard".
It didnt feel good to have sex, and after the weekend was over
my mood took a real plunge and now i feel really shitty. It feels like this is almost like a "moral-hangover", like I betrayed my penis and my values.
With both of them I also had sex without protection, which also leads me to thinking thoughts about "what if I got one of them pregnant?"

Had sex with many girls after a night out drinking before, but never have I experienced this.

So my question is, has anyone of you experienced feeling depressed and down after sleeping with women you felt were "below your value"?
What excatly is happening here?

Any tips on how I can approach and look at the situation in a more healthy manner?

Any thoughts on how to quit drinking when you go out would also be helpful!

Help is much appreciated.



On the positive side, I feel like this was the negative experience I needed to stop drinking for good.
Its probably what I need to get to the next level anyway.

 

[Bboy100]

To be honest, I can't relate to you. I've never experianced what you have. But here's what I think:

So my question is, has anyone of you experienced feeling depressed and down after sleeping with women you felt were "below your value"?
What excatly is happening here?

First of all, Alcohol is a depressant. So just drinking Alcohol in the first place increases your chances of feeling down the next day. But it sounds like you do this reletively often and you don't have a problem. I doubt you feel shitty for having sex because it doesn't cost you anything (unless you really did impregnate one of them). So I think the reason you feel depressed and I would guess guilty is because you betrayed your values. You feel like you only sleep with x caliber of women and you settled for something below that. If this is important to you, it could lead to lack of trust in yourself and your ability to handle situations life throws at you. Lack of control is part of what causes depression. Hence the feeling of depression you're experiancing. I'm not a licensed Psychologist, so I can't guarantee that this is exactly what happened, its just my guess. So take it with a grain of salt.

Any tips on how I can approach and look at the situation in a more healthy manner?

You were drunk. Perhaps its not that you lack control and that you betrayed your values and standards. You simply didn't have the wherewithal and functional control to adhere to them. Also, one or two cases of betraying your values is bad, but it's not enough to make a statement about who you are as a person. I would only seriously be worried if a pattern/habit starts forming.

Any thoughts on how to quit drinking when you go out would also be helpful!

There's lots of good information about this on the internet. I suggest doing a quick google search. I'm sure you'll find some of the results useful.

Hope this helps!

 

[mrgil]

Thanks man, help much appreciated. Ive decided to quit drinking for 30 days just to try it out.

I think what happens is that your ego takes a blow when you know you should be sleeping with hotter women, but as you said this just happens when you use girls as a form of validation.

The next time i Go out il focus much more on the moment and the girl I am talking to, and I often forget to have fun, whch is so essential. Instead i sometimes go into pick up mode and focus on taking instead of giving.

 

[JimmyB]

I can absolutely relate. I used to screw any girl at the bar if I got drunk enough. To be honest, I just never cared. I thought it was fun to bang and then I never saw them again anyways, so what'd it matter?
I no longer go war pig hunting because a) I've gotten much more comfortable with myself in social situations, so I don't feel the need to get blackout to enjoy myself and b) in tandem with this self-confidence I have gotten much better with girls and can expect to bring good looking girls back. I no longer feel accomplished having sex with fat girls. I would say to you that there's no shame in it (really, who cares?) but just realize if you're getting drunk and waking up regretting it, cutting back is a good idea. Depends the crowd you're hanging out with? Might be a big influence on the situation.
Hope any of this helps