Feeling Frusturated and Failing with Woman.

[surfer11]

I have been using Chase's techniques for a six months now and they have been very beneficial, they have helped with many things that I was doing wrong in the past.

I am just getting frustrated with my recent dates and not sure what I am doing wrong. I have been out with three new women in the last month bedded one woman and made out with the others.

I have analyzed each situation and tried my best to learn from the experience. I know that this information is not rocket science and it takes time to master these skills.

I am curious what I did wrong on my last date and want to see some feedback from you:

Background:
My last date was with a woman I went out with two times before on those other occasions we had a really fun and good time together.- We made out twice but I failed to bed her.
We had been in contact for a couple of weeks and I finally got her out on a third date.- I felt like this was my last chance to actually bed her-
However, I had a feeling that she might be a little guarded against the beginning.

Date:
I set up the date to take her to go for a walk and get something to eat, however, she really wanted to see a new romantic movie called la land.
When I met her we were about to go for a walk but it was really cold outside, she kind of pleaded with me to go see the movie. - My first thought was to say to her let's go watch the movie at my place, however, I didn't and we ended up going to watch the movie in the theater. - I felt like that was my first mistake.

I personally hate going to watch a movie with a girl that you aren't intimate with because you are in a dark movie theater and it get's awkward- However we made out two times before and I had a feeling I was already in the Provider-boyfriend role- so I accepted and we went.

I had my game plan before the date and tried to follow my techniques.
I tried to deep dive into conversation and make her feel comfortable.
During the movie, I was intimate with her and tried to hold her hand and leg, but I didn't feel her back reprecipitating back.

After the movie, we had only 30 minutes before she had to go to work and it was a perfect opportunity to bring her back to my place.
I started with light touching and suggested we go back to my place for coffee.
She started to resist and said no, I then tried to persuade her and get her to come back but eventually she gave me a stern no- at that point, I gave up.
We went and had coffee at a coffee shop for 20 minutes and just talked. She mentioned to me why do guys always want to have sex on a date.
After we had coffee, I walked her to the subway and she shook my hand.


I felt like a failure-

I tried to look at what I did wrong on the date and figure out how I could have done it differently.

I guess this is just a learning process but I feel like I keep failing with woman and it is starting to get really depressing.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Surfer

 

[shaneawi]

You're not a failure. You're just still learning game just like we all are.

Firstly you have to be outcome independent. You obviously want to push for sex but your attitude has to be sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. Either way I have a mission outside of getting women. The minute you start thinking about how many lays you didn't get or you feel like you have to bed this specific girl you're finished. You'll never bed her.

I would have a strict game plan next time. No movies, no dinner, no bowling, no fun dates. Do something simple like coffee. Set the sexual frame early. Hug her when you meet her and hold it longer than a friend hug. Deep dive her. While walking in the street tell her your mom always told you never to cross the street alone and then hold her hand.

have a game plan. I'll usually do a coffee date in my car. After 30 or 45 minutes of deep diving I I move her to another location like a park or star gazing. Then you can move her to your place or escalate right there. Or if she doesn't seem into it just go for a second date and then bring her back to your place.

Never give in to do something she wants because it won't lead to sex. Just politely decline and offer an alternative and use the phrase "we" to show her how "we" can make it an adventure or how your idea will be fun for both of you.

 

[Drck]

Many times it comes down to simple exposure... Just date more girls, that's all... IMO it's quite silly to beat yourself down because of "failure"... It's not a failure, you got a date, and you can learn from each date something new, regardless whether you see the girl next time or not. That's how you should look at it, each date is success...

Also, know that women will NOT make you happy. You have to learn to be happy regardless of whether you have women in your life or not, and that is much more difficult than "failed date"...

 

[SillyCarl]

A 100 on what Drck said.

You can't feel depressed everytime things don't go your way with girls, because you'll fail quite often. I relate because I put a lot of meaning in getting girls but when I started meditation and found happiness within, i could approach seduction in a better mindset and reframe everything as positive.

And in no time you'll be killing it bro, you already are having bedded a girl from cold approach already. You just need to learn to take the hits but appreciate every little success you have

 

[jdoc]

Hey surfer,

On the path to becoming a talented seducer, you have to fail a lot of times. Things will not go your way and you will feel frustrated. Keep working smart and hard. Document all of your experiences and dates and turn them into reports, and analyse them. Eventually, if you summon up a bit of grit and exercise focused practice, brush up on GC theory, and meticulously analyse your dates, you WILL see results. Failure precedes success.

Jeffrey

 

[shaneawi]

The most successful people in life fail more than others but they're more successful because they take calculated risks. Women are entertainment. They're silly and cute. They're not sources of happiness or a measure of your overall success. Start loving your rejections because every time you get rejected you learn something and become bette and more resilient. Plus how cool of a story will it be to tell your grandkids that you got rejected 10000 times but you didn't let it stop you and that's how you met your beautiful wife.

You'll be dead in 60 years. The clock is ticking. Fear nothing

 

[Ithilien770]

Just thought I'd add my thoughts as I've recently been down this road myself. Hope my perspective is of value to you.

Here's what I think:

1. It is absolutely essential that seducing women is not your primary aim and purpose in life. If this is so, then you become much more independent of the outcome with the girls you attempt to attain, as it simply does not matter if, in the grand scheme of things, an individual girl does not end up in your bed. It simply does not effect your life - you are still actively focused upon living the life you desire to live: how can it matter if it doesn't work out with a specific lady? If you are going to become highly proficient in attaining quality girls, this needs to come by having aspirations that you can actively pursue that are 'higher' than taking girls to bed. What are your life aims? Do you have travel goals? Professional aspirations? Sporting/cultural goals? At the very least, personal development in a broad sense should be a higher priority for you, and it will also have the effect of increasing your sense of self-worth and give you a higher value as a man in the eyes of the opposite sex. If this is not so, and sleeping with girls is your prime concern, act now to change this.

2. Likewise it is vital that you are dating or else have a lot of birds in your sights at a given time. This way, when you aren't successful with a specific lady, you have other birds girls that you can focus upon, and this helps you to develop the abundance mentality and to avoid fixating upon a single girl. Fixating/single girl mentality can easily lead you to chase her, invest in her, and become emotional in your interactions with her, all of which will be a turn-off to her. Believe me when I tell you that having an abundance of girls in your sights as romantic possibilities eases any emotional difficulty felt when things don't happen as you desire. If this is the case for you, get out there in to the world meeting them!

3. Learning - you are, just like myself, learning to become proficient with seducing women. So embrace that. The other guys have touched on this so I won't say too much. Only there is no such thing as failure, only learning; it is all simply a learning experience and a date with a girl is simply practice so that you can learn. You learn so you can come to perceive new actions to put in to place for the future, and it is this that leads to success Practice - reflect - become aware of changes to make in the future and act to put them in place in your life. Be a Fixer, not a Complainer (Chase wrote an important article about this - dig it out: it is one of his articles that will serve you as a bit of a foundation moving forward) Then go out and repeat. If you sincerely and consistently do so, your practice and learning will definitely translate into sleeping with the quality women that you, as a valuable guy, deserve to be sleeping with.

4. Tactically - if a girl resists you like this lady has, quietly slip away and become highly scarce, yet visibly living your life fully (this is where social media can help if she is following you on anything use that but don't give her any attention whatsoever). You may find (and I've found this does actually happen, though not all of the time) that she re-engages with you. In that case, ask her to meet up for coffee, deep dive, and be actively seeking to move things forward to bed. Never accept friendship, and don't be afraid to hard-push girls to get them off the fence.

5. Fundamentals - if there is any failure on my part, I usually consider fundamentals to be up there with respect to cause, especially as I am only just starting out and never gave them too much thought prior. Analyse your fundamentals and put in place the changes that you think are necessary.

Hope that helps - Ithilien770

 

[surfer11]

Thanks fellas for responding to my thread your insight and suggestions are valuable.

This is a process and it will take time and practice to get better with woman.

I agree I have to get out and meet as many woman as I can and not just focus on one.

I definitely have been documenting each experience and learning from my mistakes.

Thanks again.

Surfer