Hi all,
So a girl texts me and says she's free to meet up yesterday (Saturday evening). I was planning on heading out if she didn't reply, but she did we set it up. I was a little flustered to begin with because my normal date venue has had a refit. I walked past it and it was buzzing with people and much louder than before. Damn. Another bar that is a good spot is undergoing a refurb, so I had few others in mind. We met and she said she hadn't eaten so we went to a nearby bar and grill.
I think I could have chosen a different venue closer to my place. If I had thought more quickly we could have chosen one of the restaurants right next to my place. I will have to check out the menus and keep it in mind for future reference.
So we were connecting well on the date. She finished up and said: 'So do you want to get out of here?'
At this point [this sounds like a dumb question to me] should I have invited her home? I feel a bit silly asking because I feel the answer is obviously yes?
Instead, I couldn't summon up the courage to do so. I'll explain why:
A few months ago I had a date with this very pretty girl from eastern Europe. I posted about it elsewhere on these forums. I phrased it in the wrong way, she declined. I don't think I gave her plausible deniability. This is how it could have gone:
Me: Do you want to get a nightcap?
Her: Sure, where?
Me: I live right round the corner
Her: I'm not sure
Me: Come on, just for 10 minutes. Then you can go.
But I sent her a text the next day and she sent me an angry one back. I had clearly hurt her by going for the pull incorrectly. I'm still trying to get over this bad experience.
Anyway back to last night. I didn't have the balls to suggest my place right there. I consoled myself with - just one more bar and then invite her home - so we went to a different bar. More connection, deep-diving etc. We talked about how settling down was a bad idea at our age (I'm getting good at doing this now). I said that some guys my age had 'cashed out' a bit too early. She told me about one of her friends who is stuck in a relationship she doesn't like because she's scared of the alternative.
We talked about people-watching but I could have gone further with a role-play there, or a game like guess what that person's story is.
So I suggested we watch a movie. She was considering it, but she said she was tired and she might fall asleep. In the end I couldn't address her objections. I was thinking of saying we could have some wine, but she had already said she generally stuck to one or two drinks.
Lesson: movie invitations aren't a great idea past 9pm ish...it should have been a nightcap invitation. Much easier to invite home for 'just 10 minutes' or so...
After that we went to a different bar, but it fizzled out after that. I don't know whether we'll see each other again.
So a girl texts me and says she's free to meet up yesterday (Saturday evening). I was planning on heading out if she didn't reply, but she did we set it up. I was a little flustered to begin with because my normal date venue has had a refit. I walked past it and it was buzzing with people and much louder than before. Damn. Another bar that is a good spot is undergoing a refurb, so I had few others in mind. We met and she said she hadn't eaten so we went to a nearby bar and grill.
I think I could have chosen a different venue closer to my place. If I had thought more quickly we could have chosen one of the restaurants right next to my place. I will have to check out the menus and keep it in mind for future reference.
So we were connecting well on the date. She finished up and said: 'So do you want to get out of here?'
At this point [this sounds like a dumb question to me] should I have invited her home? I feel a bit silly asking because I feel the answer is obviously yes?
Instead, I couldn't summon up the courage to do so. I'll explain why:
A few months ago I had a date with this very pretty girl from eastern Europe. I posted about it elsewhere on these forums. I phrased it in the wrong way, she declined. I don't think I gave her plausible deniability. This is how it could have gone:
Me: Do you want to get a nightcap?
Her: Sure, where?
Me: I live right round the corner
Her: I'm not sure
Me: Come on, just for 10 minutes. Then you can go.
But I sent her a text the next day and she sent me an angry one back. I had clearly hurt her by going for the pull incorrectly. I'm still trying to get over this bad experience.
Anyway back to last night. I didn't have the balls to suggest my place right there. I consoled myself with - just one more bar and then invite her home - so we went to a different bar. More connection, deep-diving etc. We talked about how settling down was a bad idea at our age (I'm getting good at doing this now). I said that some guys my age had 'cashed out' a bit too early. She told me about one of her friends who is stuck in a relationship she doesn't like because she's scared of the alternative.
We talked about people-watching but I could have gone further with a role-play there, or a game like guess what that person's story is.
So I suggested we watch a movie. She was considering it, but she said she was tired and she might fall asleep. In the end I couldn't address her objections. I was thinking of saying we could have some wine, but she had already said she generally stuck to one or two drinks.
Lesson: movie invitations aren't a great idea past 9pm ish...it should have been a nightcap invitation. Much easier to invite home for 'just 10 minutes' or so...
After that we went to a different bar, but it fizzled out after that. I don't know whether we'll see each other again.
