First time writing a field report. I didn't know it would take that long to write one of these. It's like writing an essay... 
Introduction:
Questions:
Introduction:
- Net approaches: 6
- Numbers: 1
- Discarded approaches (too old, weird face, etc.): 4
- Location: mall / downtown of big city
- Timing: Saturday afternoon
Set 1
Background:
Background:
- After trawling the mall and going into the stores, there really wasn't a lot to work with
- I was going down the escalator toward the food court when I noticed a brunette girl sitting by herself on her phone at a table
- There was no other chair there, so I needed to find a place to sit
- Next to the girl about 10 feet away was a guy sitting also by himself, with 3 extra chairs
- A couple of months ago, I saw a PUA approaching in a similar situation and talking to a girl who was sitting down for 20 mins while standing next to her with his neck craned...
- Since then, I've found the right angle for these types of situations
- Immediately after I got off the escalator, without any hesitation at all, I dragged one of the extra chairs from the guy's table and pulled it right up to the brunette's table
- She was wearing a black North Face hat
- Have you ever noticed how nice it is to be able to hang out at the mall after a long week?
- Yeaa
- I noticed she had a slight accent, from just one word...
- With how fast paced and stressful life is like for so many people these days, sometimes we just got to get outside of the house, clear our minds, and release all of that pent up energy... you don't sound like you're from here
- No, I'm originally from Latin America, but I live here now
- What brings you out here today?
- I'm just waiting for my husband
- I saw a guy 20 feet away from my 11 o'clock direction walking over holding a red cup. I suspected this was her husband
- Well, have a nice day
- I got up off my seat and was right
- The husband was walking toward me
- I just gave him an up nod (like saying what's up) and got the hell outta there
- I heard him ask her 'que paso' ('what happened' in Spanish) afterwards but nothing hostile that I could discern lol
Set 2
Background:
Background:
- Left the mall and walked over to Target (a big retailer)
- Did 2 laps around the store, via my typical aisle-to-aisle check lol
- Saw a blonde girl at the sunglasses section
- As soon as I got within a 10-foot radius of her she moved away, and I didn't follow as I took this as an approach disinvitation
- On my 2nd lap around the store, I noticed a tall, tan, blonde girl wearing a gray zip-up sweater
- We were in the cereal aisle, and the spacing was ridiculously tight
- There were multiple people here moving around and looking at cereal boxes, so I didn't have an angle here
- A few moments later, she moved to the cooking oil aisle
- I didn't follow immediately but waited for 30 secs pretending to look at Lucky Charms cereal boxes lol
- This time there was only one other person around us in the new aisle
- I opened over my shoulder
- Do you know what's pretty fascinating? One day, you're out shopping as usual, but suddenly something unexpected happens. Perhaps, you feel feel excited, but with a bit of hesitation too. But you know, this could all lead to a very amazing story... [2 sec pause] your eyes, you seem a bit tired
- Yeah, we just landed an hour ago. It was a long flight
- Oh yeah, where from?
- I just noticed that she had a foreign accent. Couldn't hear too clearly not because we were standing too far but because the background music was kinda loud
- The UK
- Lemme guess, you must be a cabin crew
- Haha yeah
- Yeah, you definitely give off that vibe. Which airline?
- British Airways
- I have a lot of friends who are flight attendants: Singapore Airlines, Lufthansa, you name it. Not everyone is able to deal with the constant travel and jet lag when you're always traveling to new places. You need to be strong mentally and physically. It's great you're so adventurous. Do you have a daily stipend to buy things? Cuz my friends do. Sometimes, they spend their stipend on snacks like chips, and even makeup
- I mentioned the stipend because she had a few items in her basket and also as a pace
- [I don't remember what her response was but it wasn't a direct yes / no]
- Are you originally from the UK?
- Yes, I'm originally from Scotland, but I live in London now
- You must know how to have fun. My buddy at the gym was living in London for a few years. He worked as a X in the Y industry. Man, he had a blast and partied all day. I really like how London has that vibe to it where it's not too conservative like parts of the US. And it's a great melting pot right next to all the countries in continental Europe
- I agree. We have good nightlife here, too. It's only [some cheap amount of Euros] to go to France, Germany, etc. There's always something fun to do
- I sensed that this thread was running out of steam and I didn't wanna go too deep into traveling just yet, so I had to cut it. Maybe this wasn't the right move. She was still smiling, but those droopy eyelids didn't look too promising
- You know, the connections that we make with people can sometimes happen so quickly. Human emotions are fascinating, aren’t they? When we’re in a new situation, sometimes might take years… maybe months… maybe days… maybe even seconds [snap fingers]… but we always have a sense it could be a very special type of connection
- Credit (slight modification): @Lofty
- This line / gambit has worked like 95% of the time, with a minor failure rate due to girls not understanding the implied meaning
- I touched her shoulder lightly and they seemed beefy, like a swimmer
- She smiles but doesn't say anything
- What else do you have going on?
- Honestly, I'm tired and need to go to my hotel and sleep soon after I buy this
- When's your flight back?
- It's most likely Monday morning
- This took place on Saturday, so I was thinking of a number close here since there's a bit of time and she's tired
- Then all of a sudden, there's like 5 people flooding the aisle and checking out the oils right next to her
- Let's move over here [gestured her to move down to the part of the aisle with more space]
- We both move 5 feet to our right
- [Some joke about how Target puts baking soda in the oil aisle. Something about how cities attract different types of people.] We should hang out tomorrow when you're less tired and continue our conversation
- I thought of potentially moving her out of this aisle after seeing the 5 new people here and into the empty clothing section like 15 secs away, but didn't for some reason. I don't think there's much downside to a double move, even though the first one was just a few mins ago. We would have been able to continue the conversation and start another thread, maybe deep diving into travel or something
- That's sweet but I have a boyfriend back home
- I'm so, so sorry to hear. How long have you had that problem for?
- We've been together for 1 year now. He's great
- It didn't make sense to keep this up so I left
Set 3
Background:
Texting:
Background:
- After leaving Target, I took a walk around the downtown park, but it was filled with mostly couples
- While I was leaving the park, I noticed that there was a girl in pink sitting ~100 feet away on a bench by herself
- This area is like a courtyard nestled between a few taller buildings
- I crossed the street and got within 50 feet of her
- Her face looked kind of fat though at a distance
- There were like 3 homeless people sitting in the sun far from her
- As I got closer, I just knew that this was gonna hook hard
- So instead of approaching, I walked to the back alley of the hotel, cleared my throat, and spitted in the bush
- I walked over to her, parallel to the bench and stopped 2 feet from her just before crossing her line of sight
- She was sitting on the end of the bench with her phone in her hand and some big headphones cupped around her ears
- She turned out to be brunette, green eyes, wearing a pink Adidas zip hoodie with gray sweatpants
- Her face was actually very angular and not fat at all
- I talked loudly and waved to get her attention
- Note that this set lasted ~45 mins
- She has this bitchy voice to her, which was attractive
- Looking back, there wasn't a lot of deep dive, which I typically employ for extended convos
- Have you ever noticed how nice it is to be able to be outside after a long week?
- Yeah
- She moves one of the headphones off her ears and smiles slightly
- You seem really relaxed right now. It's like you're just enjoying the sunlight, getting a tan, and having a good Saturday afternoon
- The weather's been pretty good today
- There's some space between us
- I looked down and noticed that she was eating froyo, and 80% of it was gone from the cup
- If I had to guess, you're probably in community college
- How did you know?
- Well, you give off CC vibes. My friend X goes to [the community college nearby] and you guys are pretty similar. What's your major?
- I'm studying business
- That's what's up. I studied business in college, too. Looks like we have a future businesswoman here
- I hold my hand out for a fist bump, which she returned
- Which school did you go to?
- [Name of top college nearby]
- That's a good school. I actually wanted to go to [another good school 5 hours away], but I didn't get in. So that's why I'm here. I want to transfer later
- It's ok. You're in luck. [Something about how transfers are cool people too, and I have friends who did that.] I used to know the principal at [my college]. Unfortunately, they have a new principal now, so I can't write you a letter of recommendation to help you get in
- [Said sarcastically] Haha guess I have to talk to someone else
- If I were to ask you how your day has been going, on a scale from 1 - 10, what would you say?
- I would give it a 5. It's not been very good
- I didn't ask her why it's only a 5 because it's too early in the convo and wanted to inject positive moods at this point
- Yeah, it sounds like one of those days when things just quite aren’t going the way we want them to, so that’s a perfectly natural response. But in my experience, I’ve found that a bad day can suddenly become a great day… in just an instant [snap fingers]… simply by allowing ourselves to relax and having an open mind
- Credit (slight modification): @Lofty
- How about you? How's your day?
- My day's been pretty average. I was actually at the mall. [I pointed out to the Adidas logo on her hoodie.] Even Adidas is closed there these days. I was going to buy something for my sister
- I completely made up the last part lol
- You're right. Adidas and so many stores have closed. It's like the whole mall is shutting down
- That's not good. Looks like we're in a bad economy. So do you have a job?
- Yeah, I do
- Hell yeah. What do you do?
- I'm a receptionist
- My friend's a receptionist too. She works at a hotel. It's an easy job, but she has a graveyard shift. What industry are you in as a receptionist?
- It's actually my family's business
- That's great. Hopefully they're not too harsh on you. Maybe, they just tell you not to be on your phone too much, but at least you don't have a crazy manager
- It's not too difficult, and I get to make some money
- Are you still staying with your folks?
- No, I live [in this big city]
- Lemme guess, you live in [some lame suburban district with nothing going on in the middle of nowhere within the city]. You seem like you could be a [district] girl
- Nah, I don't live there haha
- But she doesn't tell me which area she lives in...
- So what do you do?
- What do you think?
- Umm, maybe a programmer or an engineer
- Bruh, really? So you think I'm a STEM guy?
- I pointed to my fancy loafers
- I work in finance
- My first guess was actually finance. So you are a finance bro then haha
- No, it wasn't. You said a programmer. [Half jokingly] You a lying ass bitch
- I felt like this conversation needed more emotion so I had to spike it up here and break some social conventions
- A lying what?
- A lying b.........usinesswoman
- In the past, I went too extreme with these things and had to apologize later, so I pull back here quickly given she's still not too bought in yet
- You better... I don't like your shoes. [Something about how she likes some other shoes more.] And your pants. [I was wearing black chinos.] You should wear baggy jeans instead. Those are in
- Ok, Ms. Fashionista. You know what? One day, I'm going to go to the mall and get a wardrobe upgrade. And you're coming with me on this trip. You're gonna be my assistant, and my style will undergo a full revamp after that
- She laughs
- Do you work here in one of these buildings downtown?
- Seemed like she was getting more hooked
- To close the gap between us, and since her cup of froyo was kinda in the way, I took my right arm moved it up so it was lying on the headrest thing, forming a 90 degree angle
- Kinda like how you put your arm around her but your hand is next to her outer shoulder only, and there's still some space in between
- Should've asked for compliance for her to move the froyo cup to the other side of the bench so I could sit closer
- No, I used to work in a big office, but I'm remote these days. Working 80 hours a week ain't no joke
- Do you like being remote?
- Yeah, I get a lot more free time without being micro-managed and just mess around all day. That is the life
- The convo sort of dies down so I break out the connection gambit
- You know, the connections that we make with people can sometimes happen so quickly. Human emotions are fascinating, aren’t they? When we’re in a new situation, sometimes might take years… maybe months… maybe days… maybe even seconds [snap fingers]… but we always have a sense it could be a very special type of connection
- She ate this one up 100%
- She started grinning from ear to ear right after the 1st sentence already lol
- Very good sign
- Man, it's windy out here. Is my hair messed up yet? I gotta fix this afterwards, and it's all because of you haha
- Not really, but yeah, it's a bit windy
- The wind was picking up during this time
- I don't have any product in my hair like mousse so it's losing its shape a bit and flying around
- Big mistake: should have attempted to move her right here and used the wind as an excuse to find a place that's less windy or outside of this homeless zone, but it's not like they were stinky or hostile
- Maybe go indoors or something or walk back across the street to the downtown park
- You seem like those girls who looks reserved on the outside. But I know that deep inside you're probably very feisty and won't back down in a confrontation. If we got into a heated argument one day, you'd probably throw a chair at me or something, right?
- Haha that's so true. I've actually done that before
- I knew it. I'm not sure how long you'll last in our fight though. Look at those nails [she had medium-length white nail extensions on]
- I've gotten into a fight with these nails
- Did you win though?
- Yeah, I beat the shit out of her
- That's crazy. Must be over a guy if I had to guess
- Nah, I was drunk as fuck and threw some punches. That's all I remember
- I used to drink so much in college, but I haven't drank in a while
- Wow, why'd you quit?
- I realized this description is getting very long but wanted to give a sense of how some of my longer approaches typically go
- I'm going to cut from here to the closing, so I don't spend an hour writing out the rest of the convo
- Immediately after, we talked about my time in college, and she asked me a lot of questions. I told her how I was in a frat, some wild things, etc. She called me a frat boy and said she knew it based on my hairstyle (undercut)
- Other things that I learned about her: likes to read, used to go to the gym, we're from the same city, she's actually Mexican, she taught me a few Spanish words, drinks a lot of tequila, and hates guys who use steroids
- Touch: I kept touch very limited here to 4 times only: light shoulder tap at the beginning, squeezed her biceps when she mentioned the gym, slapped the side of her hips lightly when I mentioned which part of the body steroid injections can go, and shaking her hand during the name exchange
- I used the latest (at the time of this report) female submission gambit, and the reactions were exactly as described, which was fantastic. Even though this one went well, when I used the exact gambit in the next outing, there was a lot more resistance
- Cutting to ~40 mins into the set:
- What else do you have going on right now?
- Nothing really
- I know there's this cool waterfall in the downtown park. Let's cross the street and check it out. It's just 3 mins away
- Actually, I have to meet up with my sister soon. It's gonna get really crowded at 5:30
- What happened here???
- She doesn't specify what event / location this is for
- I checked the time and it's 5:10
- Alright, well we should continue our conversation and hang out some time
- Uhh, maybe
- I cut her off immediately
- That doesn't sound convincing at all. You might as well say no with that tone
- Haha... it's just that I don't really wanna put myself back out there again yet
- I sensed that she was lacking comfort
- Here, I immediately break out my chemistry gambit
- I have another gambit specifically for putting yourself out there for dating that would be a 100% fit for this scenario, but I completely forgot about it in the heat of the moment
- Some people firmly believe that how well you know a person can be measured in time. However, I think they’re terribly mistaken
- Her eyes lit up, and she was engaged
- Reason is sometimes you meet a person, and you can just sense the instant spark of chemistry. You feel so connected to the other person, like the two of you are both on the same wavelength, perfectly in sync. Have you ever experienced that feeling before?
- Yeah, I have
- Ok, great to hear that we’re on the same page. On the other hand, maybe you’ve known someone for a year but just don't feel connected, or that they don’t even understand you after all this time. You can tell that something is missing. Basically, it all depends on chemistry, and I think it is very important to trust our intuition. If something feels right, we should stick with it and simply go with the flow
- Mhmm, I think that's right
- Great, let's stay in touch. I'll give you my contact
- So I used the Skills method and input my number in her phone
- She purposefully writes another guy name under my contact. This is one of the 3 names that she used to guess my real name during the name exchange phase
- She says she remembers my real name, but did this on purpose so I don't react
- The initial message I typed was: Hey - [her name]
- I was about to hit send
- Just put 'hey'
- She takes her phone back, deletes the whole message, and types 'Yo'
- I think this is the 2nd time seeing this behavior ever
- This is all you get
- This was a very bad sign
- Given that she had to go soon, I didn't know what much more I could do but just wanted to end the convo on a high note
- I throw in a non-judgmental sex gambit in here about how women are stigmatized over social media for certain sex behaviors and high partner counts, but guys just get applauded
- Looking back, I don't think this gambit was the right move at all
- Should have focused on comfort or asked her what she's worried about
- She had to go, and when she was leaving, I went up to the hotel window outside to fix my hair
- From the reflection, I saw that her head was buried in her phone and she didn't look back at our direction
Texting:
- I was thinking of a cocky, funny text (this was how I presented myself when she asked me questions) similar to @Skills style
- Hence the below exchange
- 1 hour after we parted
- i need advice for my shoe game
- you think this looks good on me
- [Picture of gray, sparkly women's high heels with pointed toes that I found at Ross. See below]
- 2 days later since there was no response
- [Eyes emoji]
- The message didn't deliver = I was blocked...
Set 4
Background:
Background:
- Entered Ross (a discount clothing retailer)
- I found a pair of gray, sparkly high heels with pointed toes and snapped a picture to send to the girl above
- Was there for a bit until I approached an Asian girl wearing a default blue covid mask
- She was wearing a fluffy baby blue sweater and had eyeliner
- Looked over 30 for sure
- Was honestly very interested in what material the sweater was cuz I have a similar one
- Oh hey, I really like your sweater
- Thanks!
- Do you know what material it is?
- Uh, I don't know. I actually bought it when I was in Hong Kong. If you want to get it, I think you can buy it from Taobao
- She was being a bit dismissive here from her voice tone
- Interesting... do you speak Chinese?
- I don't really want to talk right now
- We both walked away at the same time...
Set 5
Background:
Background:
- A lot of minutes passed by
- I walked inside Macy's (a giant department store)
- There was a South Asian girl looking at her phone the whole time as she walked aimlessly on the edges of the floor hugging the wall
- After observing her movement for a minute, I stopped and opened using a line similar to Set 1 but swapped the mall to shopping theme
- She said 'give me a min', returned to looking at her phone, sort of turned her body away, and disengaged, so I did the same
- Later, I would see her in the middle of the floor on a call with someone
Set 6
Background:
Background:
- I used the restroom and spent around 30 mins checking out the other floors / sections and just camping in general
- It was mostly older women, so I came back down to the same floor as Set 5
- I really didn't wanna talk to this girl, but there was no one else that I could go for, and I wanted to go home soon
- There was this Asian girl with a round face wearing a white shirt
- She was checking out some shoes, but there were multiple store associates / salespeople near her so I hesitated on purpose
- I just sat down on a couch next to other women's shoes, relaxed my feet from all that walking, and waited
- A few mins later, she leaves the crowded area and moves to the same general vicinity as Set 5
- I couldn't give one damn that someone saw me make another approach on the same floor (and area) as Set 5
- I used the exact opener as line 5
- After asking her what brought her out here, she mentioned she was shopping with her boyfriend
- Given that I wasn't feeling this girl plus the boyfriend in the vicinity, I wished her a good day and left
- I've picked up girls with boyfriends on the same floor or on another floor on multiple occasions before
Questions:
- What could I have done better on Set 3?
- If a girl labels you using a general label that carries both positive and negative connotations, how should you respond? For me, the ones that I've gotten are finance bro, consultant, gym bro, frat boy, etc. See Set 3 for an example of what I mean
- What are supplements that I should take to resist / slow down burnout from walking around too much? I'm currently using electrolytes, but I feel like there might be others
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