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Writing this in response to Cam's post on Quality or Quantity?, where he discusses having a hard time finding women he wants to meet when he goes out and walks around.
Typically, as a man's sexual experience and confidence go up, his pickiness and standards go down. Take a guy at 200 lays and see what kind of girl he'll go for and it's almost anything; the guy at 4 lays looks at some of the girls the guy at 200 gets with and says, "Eww, GROSS!" But then he also looks at other girls the guy at 200 gets with and says, "Lucky bastard." The guy at 200 just looks at ALL those girls and calls them all "pretty."
Although, the interesting thing is, while more confident/experienced men have lower standards for flings, their standards for long-term mates remain immune to their confidence/experience levels. You want roughly the same kind of girl as a girlfriend at 200 lays as you wanted at 4.
Some thoughts:
1. You will get some good out of pushing yourself to approach a lot and sleep with girls who are "good enough" or "doable," even if they don't exactly ring your bells. You'll get practice, experience, and you'll be ever more comfortable approaching and picking up and seducing new women. If you're already pretty good, it keeps you sharp; if you're not quite there just yet, it gets you improving, to boot.
2. If you're not seeing enough girls you're excited about, it may not just be a lack of looks - it can also be attainability. If you're not already pretty good with game, and you haven't had a lot of good experience picking up yet, it's easy to fall into not even considering women as sexual options (because your brain doesn't believe you can realistically get them). Here's something to try - read this article: Women as Sex Objects: Supercharge Your Game (one of my earliest on Girls Chase), then go out, walk around, and really imagine yourself tearing the clothes off, bending over, and mounting every girl you come across as you walk around in your day-to-day life. See what that does for your excitement levels. My guess is, they go through the roof.
A second experiment if you need more confirmation this is a mental thing and not a lack-of-supply thing: find a porn site with pictures of different women naked. Find the ones that turn you on. Then, cover up their bodies so you see only their faces, and imagine if you saw them walking around outside during the day wearing sweats. Would you be excited on seeing them? Probably not, for 999 out of 1,000 girls in porn.
Sweats are what you get on the street. The naked girl with a wet vagina you don't actually see until she's back in your apartment alone with you, clothes on the floor... and you'll be plenty excited then.
3. If you do all that and you STILL can't find enough new women to meet (you live in a town with, like, 3,000 people, for instance; or the demographics there are skewed way towards old people, or men, or whatnot; or, there are plenty of young women, but all of them are fat or really, hideously ugly), it's probably time to move. Maybe you like skinny white girls and the only girls in town are thick Latinas. Time to move. Maybe you like really feminine girls who wear skirts and do cutesy girly stuff, but you live in Sweden and the women are manlier Nordic Viking conquerors than the men are. You'll be happier in Eastern Europe or East Asia.
Hopefully this gives some ideas. In most reasonably-sized cities though, there are plenty of girls out walking around you may not be excited about on first seeing but you'll probably be plenty excited about having naked in your apartment. Try to keep that in mind when you're deciding whom to approach. Also remember that you don't have to date every girl... the more girls you're taking regularly, the more likely you are to have a really high quality one in the mix by sheer numbers, and the pickier about relationships you're able to be.
There's a lot to be said for careful target selection - I'm a big proponent, and you can really get amazingly accurate with it at picking out what girl you want as a girlfriend and GETTING that girl as your girlfriend once you're good - but when you're still learning, it pays to get yourself out there approaching a lot more and collecting new experiences and data points.
Just remember: she'll be a lot hotter when her clothes are on the floor.
Chase
Typically, as a man's sexual experience and confidence go up, his pickiness and standards go down. Take a guy at 200 lays and see what kind of girl he'll go for and it's almost anything; the guy at 4 lays looks at some of the girls the guy at 200 gets with and says, "Eww, GROSS!" But then he also looks at other girls the guy at 200 gets with and says, "Lucky bastard." The guy at 200 just looks at ALL those girls and calls them all "pretty."
Although, the interesting thing is, while more confident/experienced men have lower standards for flings, their standards for long-term mates remain immune to their confidence/experience levels. You want roughly the same kind of girl as a girlfriend at 200 lays as you wanted at 4.
Cam87 said:
Some thoughts:
1. You will get some good out of pushing yourself to approach a lot and sleep with girls who are "good enough" or "doable," even if they don't exactly ring your bells. You'll get practice, experience, and you'll be ever more comfortable approaching and picking up and seducing new women. If you're already pretty good, it keeps you sharp; if you're not quite there just yet, it gets you improving, to boot.
2. If you're not seeing enough girls you're excited about, it may not just be a lack of looks - it can also be attainability. If you're not already pretty good with game, and you haven't had a lot of good experience picking up yet, it's easy to fall into not even considering women as sexual options (because your brain doesn't believe you can realistically get them). Here's something to try - read this article: Women as Sex Objects: Supercharge Your Game (one of my earliest on Girls Chase), then go out, walk around, and really imagine yourself tearing the clothes off, bending over, and mounting every girl you come across as you walk around in your day-to-day life. See what that does for your excitement levels. My guess is, they go through the roof.
A second experiment if you need more confirmation this is a mental thing and not a lack-of-supply thing: find a porn site with pictures of different women naked. Find the ones that turn you on. Then, cover up their bodies so you see only their faces, and imagine if you saw them walking around outside during the day wearing sweats. Would you be excited on seeing them? Probably not, for 999 out of 1,000 girls in porn.
Sweats are what you get on the street. The naked girl with a wet vagina you don't actually see until she's back in your apartment alone with you, clothes on the floor... and you'll be plenty excited then.
3. If you do all that and you STILL can't find enough new women to meet (you live in a town with, like, 3,000 people, for instance; or the demographics there are skewed way towards old people, or men, or whatnot; or, there are plenty of young women, but all of them are fat or really, hideously ugly), it's probably time to move. Maybe you like skinny white girls and the only girls in town are thick Latinas. Time to move. Maybe you like really feminine girls who wear skirts and do cutesy girly stuff, but you live in Sweden and the women are manlier Nordic Viking conquerors than the men are. You'll be happier in Eastern Europe or East Asia.
Hopefully this gives some ideas. In most reasonably-sized cities though, there are plenty of girls out walking around you may not be excited about on first seeing but you'll probably be plenty excited about having naked in your apartment. Try to keep that in mind when you're deciding whom to approach. Also remember that you don't have to date every girl... the more girls you're taking regularly, the more likely you are to have a really high quality one in the mix by sheer numbers, and the pickier about relationships you're able to be.
There's a lot to be said for careful target selection - I'm a big proponent, and you can really get amazingly accurate with it at picking out what girl you want as a girlfriend and GETTING that girl as your girlfriend once you're good - but when you're still learning, it pays to get yourself out there approaching a lot more and collecting new experiences and data points.
Just remember: she'll be a lot hotter when her clothes are on the floor.
Chase
