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FR  First cold approach to date

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
340
Hey guys, I've been inactive for awhile being busy, so I wanted to post only when something significant would happen to me or if I had questions that I can't answer myself. I think its way better than posting about every fail that I've had happen.

To start things off, I would like to say that this isn't a same day date. It more over the span of a few weeks. The school that I'm currently at has everyone so stressed that we don't have much time for ourselves. Don't ask about it. Its just the way that the course it set up.
So I met this girl when she first arrived here and my opener was asking her if anyone has ever told her she looks like Arya Starke from Game of Thrones. And everything goes from there. I don't remember much of our first interaction but it was enough to make a lasting impression on her.
(btw, she looks nothing like Arya, she just has a similar hairstyle)
Our second interaction was her telling me she looked up Arya Starke and she thought she looks nothing like her. "she's ugly!" she said. I clarified what I meant and from then on we've been seeing each other around school talking every once in a while and catching up. Not really friends, not really anything. Just strangers who keep talking to each other.
She mentioned to me how I only talk to her for short periods of time then take off...so then I decided to acknowledge my occasional social awkwardness and use it to my advantage.
The next time I saw her, I approached her and her friends talking (which I usually avoid to avoid interrupting) and said: Hey (her name) and friends!
her: oh! you're finally talking to me?!
me: yea, I decided not to be socially awkward today.

we have more drawn out conversations and small talk for the next times I see her up until I finally get her number. (I would've earlier but trust me, If I can explain why, I would.) I ask her if she likes hookah and invite her to go on a date with me. She agrees and tells me when she's free.

this is the date that I just got back from, nice and fresh from my mind.

I meet her outside our dorms and she's surrounded by her classmates. She immediately shoots up off the bench she's sitting on and says let's get the fuck outta her. She's obviously upset.
I find out that apparently her class is spreading rumors about her fucking 9 guys and she's upset that she's seen as a whore.
(this couldn't be any easier!)
we got in a taxi, blah blah, she paid even though I was about to. We talked on the taxi ride there.
set a nice tone, getting better at finding sexual humor in things girls say, so I set a sexual frame pretty early.
We get to the restaurant/hookah lounge and we sit outside in this nice chill spot. The booth that I wanted to sit at was taken. It would've been perfect for physical escalation, but I still managed.
This girl told me earlier that she's not comfortable with people touching her and from learning my lesson dealing with girls telling me this and taking it at face value, guess what I did?
I ignored that bullshit and touched her whenever the hell I felt like it. Bitch, fuck your feelings. lol
She didn't do anything about it.
touches: lead her by small of back
pulled her by her waist
rubbed her leg on high points in conversation
pulled the hair on the back of her head.
had my hand on her ass when we were sitting down one time.

While we ate and smoked I deep dived/showed her my views on slut shaming and what-not and we had sexual topics rise every once in awhile. Apparently this girl is "the best blow-job giver" on this planet.
And she told me her preferences like she loves to ride. Not gonna lie, the way she talked about this stuff turned me on and I wanted to fuck her right then.
after that, I lead the way for us to take a walk downtown where all these bars, restaurants and clubs are aligned against a river. She had never seen the scenery/ beauty of this city and I didn't want to end our date just yet.
We sat down at one point and talked about a lot of things. Got really deep..
I remember I accidentally set a FWD frame at some point to disqualify myself as a boyfriend.
She was calling me friend but talking about sexual things with me...so I guess I did things right?

remember able part:
We were talking about how she doesn't get along with girls in her class and I told her she should do what the guys in my class do when we hate each other.
I told her that all the guys have this inside joke where we pretend we're gay for each other and do stupid shit like hitting on each other. The girls should just do the same thing instead of taking everything so literally.
Then she tells me there's this one girl in her class who she "fake flirts" with and they hit on each other all the time. I asked her to show me what they do. She got in close to me and pushed me into a wall all seductive like, looked me in the eyes like she wanted to kiss me and said something. I didn't hear because I immediately grabbed her waist and said: ooh! and she laughed mid-sentence. She couldn't finish doing it with a straight face so she walked away.

I said many bold sexual things during this date that made her blush and she told me I'm going to "get her in trouble"
And then finally when we were taking a taxi back to school, I pulled her in aggressively like I was going to manhandle kiss her, though that wasn't my intention. (I only want to kiss if we're in a private place where I can escalate) She immediately said: nooo (nooo, I can't, don't do this, not ready)
and I smoothly wrapped her arms around me and made her hug me instead.
she apologized and brought up how she's not a hugger and she really doesn't like being touched. Which I ignored but told her I was just showing her affection now because I knew it would be a bad idea to do it around people at school who talk and spread rumors. Then I promised her that I am a person who keeps my mouth shut and wouldn't tell anyone about our date. (except for GC, hahaha)

then we parted ways and here I am now, typing this.
okay, so I'm aware that I left a lot of things out which is a big part of whether or not people will comment or not. I intentionally left out things I messed up on because I KNOW what I messed up on. I'm here to get certain questions answered to observations I've made. Particularly answers from the more experienced but anyone is welcome because "every man is my senior in some way". If you have insight for me, please do tell.

My question: every time me and her talked about anything sexual, I changed the subject after she would blush or if I sensed she was possibly uncomfortable. This is a habit that I've noticed that I do. Should I just keep lead the sexual conversation until I'm getting her wet or should I wait until we're alone? I'm finding out that I'm getting pretty good at innuendos and turning girls on and I can full on get her aroused with my words if I wanted to. I just felt like the restaurant was not the place. But then I also felt like those times WERE my escalation windows and It would be stupid to keep changing the subject to more platonic conversations.

Like the title says, this was my first "date" with a girl that I cold approached because all the other girls were girls I had previously been friends with for long periods of time. I took this as a learning experience and I'm not too upset that I didn't get a lay at the end. I was very awkward at points, but she seemed fine with it and told me it was okay.

If anyone wants to anything in more detail, feel free to message me with any questions or concerns.
I hope my experience helps someone in some way and I hope someone can help me. I'm very close.
Peace.
Wes
 

demainor

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 30, 2014
Messages
140
This is just my opinion, l thnk you're heading no where fast with this girl,youre not there yet, but you need to change strategy since she'll friendzone or boyfriend zone. Remember the attraction wanes drastically with time and too many of these small chats arent helping yu. You should have been one of the 9 dicks being complained abt,l think she put up her dont touch me defenses because pf the rumours and she didnt want you to judge her.

I dont know whether you just touched her( wch was good) but escalation is escalation because its leading to somethng,dont just touch her,once shes okay with that go a step furtherand so on until the kiss is out of the way. If this whole interaction went off without you even kissing her to show your intentions,all it looks like is a girl had problems in class and she met up with her awesomw friend who took her to out and they talked abt her problems and sme sexual topic,nothing much happened. Thats why she wiggled out of a kiss.

Am also learning so my analysis may not be on,but this chick will either friendzone you or b.f. spend less talking time and more time in private,escalating,talking abt your high level of secrecy. If she doesnt bite,ignore her. Not totally just pull back from interactions with her. Mayb she'll realize what shes missing and start chasing again.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,897
Heya Wes, long time no see. Hope alls well wherever the hell you are these days!

Sounds like you've improved pretty well since some of your last FR's man. Though it sounds like you haven't had much time to hit up girls you must've retained your skills somehow or someway.

Why didn't you try and pull her somewhere private or back home? Like why not try? Unless you had time constraint reasons you have no excuse... and even then you should've changed the logistics in your favor to do so.

Mr. Wes said:
My question: every time me and her talked about anything sexual, I changed the subject after she would blush or if I sensed she was possibly uncomfortable. This is a habit that I've noticed that I do. Should I just keep lead the sexual conversation until I'm getting her wet or should I wait until we're alone? I'm finding out that I'm getting pretty good at innuendos and turning girls on and I can full on get her aroused with my words if I wanted to. I just felt like the restaurant was not the place. But then I also felt like those times WERE my escalation windows and It would be stupid to keep changing the subject to more platonic conversations.

As far as this goes why not try out both ways. The social pressure can be a bit intimidating but go against it a couple times just to see what would happen, and if it goes bad just reframe it as a joke and change subject immediately. However if someone else comments otherwise that knows what their talking about i'd go with their advice.

-Rob
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
340
Hey guys, Thanks for your replies. I was thinking about it more today and remembering everything that happened. Talked to a few naturals in my class about it without giving away too much details as to who she was and I learned that I missed a very important escalation window not once, not twice, but three times!
When I look back on the time we had yesterday, we had the topic of this "nice hotel" get brought up a few times. I can't remember if she brought it up outta the blue but she seemed pretty excited about it.
I actually was down for getting a hotel but I already had dropped a lot of money from splitting the cost of taxi rides and the food. So I kinda dismissed the thought, not even considering having her pay for a room.
Plus how do you even smoothly say: hey, lets go get a hotel room so I can fuck you already?
I could've probably said: Oh, you seem to really like this hotel...you should show me what's so great about it. (aka take me there)
So there's that, she was definitely down and ready for me to close...I was just an oblivious inexperienced idiot for the 3rd time. (This happened with a previous FR before.)
Girls are so sly with how they let you know they want to be alone. Instead of just saying," let's find a place to be alone"...they drop little hints that you need to pick up on.

Its all good though, I ran into her again today and she doesn't seem like she auto-rejected me. She's still being flirty and awesome. When I greeted her I did my soul gaze eye contact and looked her deeply in the eyes and we got close like we were about to kiss, then I teased her by turning away. (another guy was there who was either a friend or a guy about to hang out with her) I still felt this sexual tension between us...so it's NOT over yet.

I'm just going to keep turning her on and then bring up her favorite hotel and tell her to introduce me to it.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,897
Mr. Wes said:
Plus how do you even smoothly say: hey, lets go get a hotel room so I can fuck you already?
Just say "adventure time, lets go!" and then don't actually tell her where your going. If she asks just keep giving her plausible deniability. If she asks why your going to the hotel say "my friends are having a party we're going to go see them". In the same way women are "sly" so must you be.

Simply enough she wants to go "get a hotel room and fuck you already" but you can't verbalize it like that because then she's a prostitute. Just make up whatever bullshit is "plausible" and then do it.

"I've heard great things about the wallpaint in their hotel rooms, I want to check it out. I'm a millionaire I can afford it. We'll go look at the wallpaint and leave it'll take 2 seconds." Then bring her up and fuck her. Lol.

Pretty crazy watching your dating life change in front of your eyes over time as long as you keep taking action. You'll be pimping it in no time if you ever get the time to make this shit happen.

One thing that's pretty crazy is going out to talk to women for 30 min. a day and then going hard on the weekends. I can't realistically do this but when I do game a little bit each day I get sharp as fuck and start living "in state".

Keep us updated Wes!

-Rob
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

PrettyDecent

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
865
Mr.Rob said:
Just say "adventure time, lets go!" and then don't actually tell her where your going. If she asks just keep giving her plausible deniability.

That's how I ended up losing my virginity. Haha. Hotel room and all.

Sounded great, Wes! Haven't seen you round these parts for a while, and it's nice to see some of us "old people" still kickin' back.

If you've got the money for a hotel, yeah, definitely go for it. But that's more something to plan in advance, I suppose. Always have the end in mind, goes the saying...

Either way man, its a new milestone reached, and I'm sure you'll be racking some new dates up soon. :)

~Nick
 
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