- Joined
- Aug 28, 2013
- Messages
- 209
I'm still a bit buzzed, so apologies if I write anything weird.
A few days ago, I met a girl (HB7 who is 40, 7 years my senior, but looks 30) on OKCupid. She's interesting not only because is she intelligent, but she's married and polyamorous. Cool!
I'd post the messages I sent to set up the date, but there are several women in the pipeline, and I know women check when I was last online and I don't want them thinking I'm ignoring them. Nonetheless, I've been deep diving a few messages and then setting up the date. I don't want to deep dive too much or there's nothing left to talk...and/or she puts me in the BF zone. I've been playing with setting up dates without deep diving, but all 4 times, I was flaked on. Seems like deep diving is necessary to eliminate flakes. Or rather, heavy qualifying.
Anyway, so I meet her at a lounge. I immediately hug and kiss her on the cheek. Kinda dropped the ball though when I led her back to a seat...should have grabbed her hand but instead, I just walked there by myself lol.
We order drinks and she's doing like literally 80% of the talking. This is so weird...totally not used to this. Before I discovered GC, I would be talking like 70% of the time. Keep in mind I also have Asperger's Syndrome, but I've done a lot of work to overcome my deficiencies. My point is that I have a really hard time knowing whether we're connecting by feel. I have no problem, however, giving her seductive eye contact. At one point, I had such dirty thoughts in my mind and my eye contact must have conveyed that so strongly that she began to start talking slower and slower and then she couldn't talk anymore and starting giddying like a girl. I did deep dive a few times on what she does for work and something else I can't remember. Not sure if I'm supposed to be deep diving most of the time, but other than those 2 deep dive sessions, I basically just let her keep talking and I would try to relate (and try to talk more so she wouldn't auto-reject).
I could have escalated kino much quicker. This was a good experience to calibrate how quicker I can get. After about an hour, our bodies were tightly touching each other (we were sitting side-by-side on a couch...hard to find venues with alcohol with a couch in my area, and this place has horrible parking...need to find a better venue) and my hand was resting on her knee. I was at a point where I could make out with her, but I refrained. Note to self: Inject some cheek kisses to build even more sexual tension.
At some point, she picked up her phone to check the time. She established a time constraint saying she needs to be home by 9 because she needs to be up by 5:30am or something. I had 30 minutes left. Fuck! I didn't want to pull her right away because it would be too obvious, so I waited 15 minutes and then went for the pull (making sure we were still on a high point). I suggested getting a nightcap, and explained what that was since she didn't know what it was. She had stopped drinking alcohol, so of course she expressed that she didn't want a nightcap. So I suggested that we just go somewhere quieter and more relaxing. She agreed! Logistics get messy here...I suggest that I give her a ride there. She gives some excuse that her husband forbids her from riding in dates' cars on first dates. I didn't know how to push it, so I suggested that we walk to her car and she give me a ride to my car so she can follow me. She agrees.
I hold her at the shoulder/waist (I switch it up). She returns the kino. I talk bullshit as we walk to her car since this is a transition. And a long-ass one too since she parked so far away! I'm relaxed the whole time though.
I direct her to where I parked, but she mentions it's almost 9 now. I tell her we'll just be there for 30 minutes and we'll call it a night. She explains that she really needs to go home and that it's not me. I didn't push because it seemed like she was really firm. Not sure if I made the right move. I then tell her I had a great time. She then lunges for the kiss on the mouth (did not see this coming). It was a peck at first...then she lunges at me again for a make out. I keep thinking, "Fuck! I'm not supposed to make out until we're ready to have sex!" I grab the back of her head and make out for maybe 30 seconds...give her a tease of my tongue...pull her lips with mine. Then I pull back and tell her she's a good kisser...and that she tastes like persimmon. I tell her again I had a great time and thanked her for the ride and got out of her car. The end.
I'd like to see this girl again. I just started reading Chase's ebook, so don't know if there is advice on how to set up the second date and how to respond after the first date. Do I text her to remind her again I had a great time the following day? Also, with her initiating the make out, does that mean anything special...other than the obvious fact that she was really attracted to me, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around since she literally did 80% of the talking. So weird.
What can I expect, and what's the best way to set up a second date? I did tell her earlier that our next date will be close to her place (she asked me earlier where I live, so joked about how I made her do all the driving, so I told her our next date will be close to her place). For some reason, I feel like it would be easier to lay her at her place since there's less issues of comfort since I would be in her car. My only concern is her husband and kids.
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EDIT: In first and second dates, what percent of our conversation should be spent deep diving? I'm pretty good at light but fun bullshit, and usually will not run out of fun bullshit things to say. I enjoy the bullshit flirt.
EDIT 2: While she was talking about something I wasn't interested in, I interrupted her by grabbing her glasses and totally changing topics. I've found I often do this with girls. Interrupt them and change topic to something really flirty. I don't think this is ever mentioned on this website, but it's something I do and I get the feeling it does a lot of good things (e.g. establish dominance, be a little bit of a charming asshole that women like, flirt, etc.).
EDIT 3: Something interesting--early in our conversation, she was telling me about how she'd meet guys but they'd never meet her standards. The whole time, I was not fazed the slightest bit. I kept thinking how I'm talking to a bunch of girls as well and how not to brag about it. I think that frame made her more attracted to me in a preselection kind of way. Wasn't my intent, but hey, I'm not complaining. I also mentioned how I'm amazed by how every girl is so radically different. That must have subcommunicated to her that I've been seeing a lot of girls. Again, not my intent. I just blurted it out to relate to her lol.
EDIT 4: I also did a few chase frames. They were not the best, but gotta start somewhere. I joked about how she's always meeting strangers...and whether her students ever hit on her and if she would capitalize as a teacher if the student was really hot. Next time, I'll have to use more chase frames.
A few days ago, I met a girl (HB7 who is 40, 7 years my senior, but looks 30) on OKCupid. She's interesting not only because is she intelligent, but she's married and polyamorous. Cool!
I'd post the messages I sent to set up the date, but there are several women in the pipeline, and I know women check when I was last online and I don't want them thinking I'm ignoring them. Nonetheless, I've been deep diving a few messages and then setting up the date. I don't want to deep dive too much or there's nothing left to talk...and/or she puts me in the BF zone. I've been playing with setting up dates without deep diving, but all 4 times, I was flaked on. Seems like deep diving is necessary to eliminate flakes. Or rather, heavy qualifying.
Anyway, so I meet her at a lounge. I immediately hug and kiss her on the cheek. Kinda dropped the ball though when I led her back to a seat...should have grabbed her hand but instead, I just walked there by myself lol.
We order drinks and she's doing like literally 80% of the talking. This is so weird...totally not used to this. Before I discovered GC, I would be talking like 70% of the time. Keep in mind I also have Asperger's Syndrome, but I've done a lot of work to overcome my deficiencies. My point is that I have a really hard time knowing whether we're connecting by feel. I have no problem, however, giving her seductive eye contact. At one point, I had such dirty thoughts in my mind and my eye contact must have conveyed that so strongly that she began to start talking slower and slower and then she couldn't talk anymore and starting giddying like a girl. I did deep dive a few times on what she does for work and something else I can't remember. Not sure if I'm supposed to be deep diving most of the time, but other than those 2 deep dive sessions, I basically just let her keep talking and I would try to relate (and try to talk more so she wouldn't auto-reject).
I could have escalated kino much quicker. This was a good experience to calibrate how quicker I can get. After about an hour, our bodies were tightly touching each other (we were sitting side-by-side on a couch...hard to find venues with alcohol with a couch in my area, and this place has horrible parking...need to find a better venue) and my hand was resting on her knee. I was at a point where I could make out with her, but I refrained. Note to self: Inject some cheek kisses to build even more sexual tension.
At some point, she picked up her phone to check the time. She established a time constraint saying she needs to be home by 9 because she needs to be up by 5:30am or something. I had 30 minutes left. Fuck! I didn't want to pull her right away because it would be too obvious, so I waited 15 minutes and then went for the pull (making sure we were still on a high point). I suggested getting a nightcap, and explained what that was since she didn't know what it was. She had stopped drinking alcohol, so of course she expressed that she didn't want a nightcap. So I suggested that we just go somewhere quieter and more relaxing. She agreed! Logistics get messy here...I suggest that I give her a ride there. She gives some excuse that her husband forbids her from riding in dates' cars on first dates. I didn't know how to push it, so I suggested that we walk to her car and she give me a ride to my car so she can follow me. She agrees.
I hold her at the shoulder/waist (I switch it up). She returns the kino. I talk bullshit as we walk to her car since this is a transition. And a long-ass one too since she parked so far away! I'm relaxed the whole time though.
I direct her to where I parked, but she mentions it's almost 9 now. I tell her we'll just be there for 30 minutes and we'll call it a night. She explains that she really needs to go home and that it's not me. I didn't push because it seemed like she was really firm. Not sure if I made the right move. I then tell her I had a great time. She then lunges for the kiss on the mouth (did not see this coming). It was a peck at first...then she lunges at me again for a make out. I keep thinking, "Fuck! I'm not supposed to make out until we're ready to have sex!" I grab the back of her head and make out for maybe 30 seconds...give her a tease of my tongue...pull her lips with mine. Then I pull back and tell her she's a good kisser...and that she tastes like persimmon. I tell her again I had a great time and thanked her for the ride and got out of her car. The end.
I'd like to see this girl again. I just started reading Chase's ebook, so don't know if there is advice on how to set up the second date and how to respond after the first date. Do I text her to remind her again I had a great time the following day? Also, with her initiating the make out, does that mean anything special...other than the obvious fact that she was really attracted to me, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around since she literally did 80% of the talking. So weird.
What can I expect, and what's the best way to set up a second date? I did tell her earlier that our next date will be close to her place (she asked me earlier where I live, so joked about how I made her do all the driving, so I told her our next date will be close to her place). For some reason, I feel like it would be easier to lay her at her place since there's less issues of comfort since I would be in her car. My only concern is her husband and kids.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EDIT: In first and second dates, what percent of our conversation should be spent deep diving? I'm pretty good at light but fun bullshit, and usually will not run out of fun bullshit things to say. I enjoy the bullshit flirt.
EDIT 2: While she was talking about something I wasn't interested in, I interrupted her by grabbing her glasses and totally changing topics. I've found I often do this with girls. Interrupt them and change topic to something really flirty. I don't think this is ever mentioned on this website, but it's something I do and I get the feeling it does a lot of good things (e.g. establish dominance, be a little bit of a charming asshole that women like, flirt, etc.).
EDIT 3: Something interesting--early in our conversation, she was telling me about how she'd meet guys but they'd never meet her standards. The whole time, I was not fazed the slightest bit. I kept thinking how I'm talking to a bunch of girls as well and how not to brag about it. I think that frame made her more attracted to me in a preselection kind of way. Wasn't my intent, but hey, I'm not complaining. I also mentioned how I'm amazed by how every girl is so radically different. That must have subcommunicated to her that I've been seeing a lot of girls. Again, not my intent. I just blurted it out to relate to her lol.
EDIT 4: I also did a few chase frames. They were not the best, but gotta start somewhere. I joked about how she's always meeting strangers...and whether her students ever hit on her and if she would capitalize as a teacher if the student was really hot. Next time, I'll have to use more chase frames.
