First date in three months!

[R.Hudson]

Well, hello everyone!
This is my first post on girlschase, although I'd like to add I'm not a complete beginner! I've just lost the jist of things a little; allow me to explain a brief bit of history, so you know where I'm at:
I was never particularly terrible at dating women, or so I thought before finding this website a year ago! And although my success was far and few between, I still did better than most my friends; because of this, I thought I had most things down to a T...how wrong I was! I found this website Boxing day last year; and it turned my life around! I was going on dates 4-7 times a fortnight, and my success at bedding them on date 1/2, and having them swooning back was raising faster than I could have ever imagined! That was until august, when I was made redundant. I managed to find a better job through the redundancy, but it took my entire week up (and has ever since). This, of course, led to me slowly reading little-to-no posts on girlschase; and also little-to-no dates. By October, I wasn't even aware of the fact it had been close to 2 months without a date.
Then, beginning of December, during a night off work (a rarity these days) I bumped into a 22 year old girl who I found so pretty I HAD to go get her number. All that time in the past defeating approach anxiety started flashing through my mind, and although I was more nervous than I'd been in years, I ignored it and focused on my fundamentals! After a very nice conversation I left with a smiling girl, a date for a few days from then, and a number! Safe to say I felt amazing, and that's when it hit me I had lost this amazing part of my life! So I started talking to 2 other girls I met the following day, and soon got three dates arranged Happy days...until yesterday

Date #1: The cute girl from my story...I met with her, we went for a drink (informational date). It went so well throughout the first half an hour I moved her to another location, with big comfy sofas, so we could get a little closer. That's when she came and sat next to me really close (which is what I had intended)...only I got nervous (I have close-to-no idea why!) and she clocked it and went a little quiet on me. Then I began being playful to release the tension I had just created, which ended up in me taking the micky out of her...FANTASTIC (not)! Either way, it was an hour of cringe-worthy moments; reluctant to see this fail I took a quick loo break and read some old notes I wrote on my phone, way back when I was a complete beginner here...safe to say I pulled the date back on track and she stated, before I ended the date, that she wanted to see me again; only she wanted to see me at a club with all her friends. I said I couldn't make it and suggested we set up another nice, short date. But she denied my advances, told me she wanted to go drinking with me, while I met her friends, and she wouldn't drop it. I said I'd think about it, said good bye, she dived in for a quick hug, and we parted ways!

This may not sound like the worst bugger-up ever...but for me, it was a biggie! I feel like I've lost everything I gained throughout an amazing year! Safe to say she only thinks of me neutrally (for now)..but I need some help with what to do next with her! And on how to rid myself of this horrible feeling I'm killing my own interaction...I mean, I know I did, but I need to resolve it (for this girl, and the others I have coming up)..and fast!
Sorry for the length, felt it would help explaining things
Hudson

 

[Just_Dave]

Hey Hudson,

First and foremost welcome to the boards!

Message: You gotta get back in shape
The frustrating thing about pick up is once you've stop for a little bit you won't be able to start benching that 200lbs right away. You gotta condition your way back up. From the looks of it you were very conditioned in the approach and taking her on a date. You just felt the strain of trying to get her back to your place or whatever the case may be.

Remedy: Talk to more girls and come back to her at a later time
You did good by not meeting her friends and doing a friendly outing! Now wait about a week and text her again to see if just you and her can do something together. If she declines and wants to hang out as a friend, move on.

Now in the meantime, you need approach more women so when she does say "that's cool" or "sure", you'll have that sexy move making persona back! Pick up is like weight lifting you miss a day you miss a lot. Even, in top shape not every seduction goes perfectly, think about what you could've done to get a better result that night. Examine it, and go out in the field and implement what you've learned.

Questions, comments, concerns?!

Just Dave

 

[R.Hudson]

Hey Just_Dave,
Thanks for the response. Your analogy on seduction compared to weight lifting makes great sense!
1 concern, and 2 realizations you've given me, starting with the realizations..
1. Firstly I'll go into the other two dates I have arranged and not expect what I used to (taking them to bed, fast). Instead I'll go in optimistic and try and smooth the entire interactions out (practice dates would be a good way of looking at it I guess). Of course, if they go well then I'll continue as best I can at that point.
2. You say talk to more girls. This hits me in a weird way; I understand I have to build myself back up, but I also feel saddened by the fact I've lost a degree of naturalism I once had. But you're right, I need to get back on the horse and get back out there on a massive scale!

The 1 concern would be leaving it a week with girl #1...I understand what you're saying, but I don't want the attraction to die. The date may have been a little bit of a shambles, but she still expressed clear-as-day interest! Past experiences have taught me to seize these interests and increase them with another date a couple, to three days, later. Of course, I'm probably missing something here, but it feels odd to leave it a week right now, ideas are welcome!

Thanks again mate
Hudson

 

[Just_Dave]

Hey Just_Dave,

The 1 concern would be leaving it a week with girl #1...I understand what you're saying, but I don't want the attraction to die. The date may have been a little bit of a shambles, but she still expressed clear-as-day interest! Past experiences have taught me to seize these interests and increase them with another date a couple, to three days, later. Of course, I'm probably missing something here, but it feels odd to leave it a week right now, ideas are welcome!

Thanks again mate
Hudson

Hey Hudson,

If that is what has been working for you then do it! I forgot to put a little note in there about apply to your own self and results, good catch!

Response to 1:
Yes, you'll be surprised and overjoyed how well interactions can go when you see them just as practice. It keeps you relaxed and soon you'll be doing things naturally again. Because the pressure will be off yourself you'll be free because you're pushing your limits. You may find yourself better than you were last time. Because keep in mind you're not starting over, you're just may be lifting 20 or 10lbs lighter from your last sessions. Soon you'll be breezing right through them, and like weight lifting it's all mental.

Response to 2:
Like I mentioned in one way, don't be saddened in fact be overjoyed you have something to work toward. Because you have the skill and I mean it in a way of practicing on these girls "henchmen" so when you face the "boss" first girl you'll do it flawlessly. You'll go in there confident because you're reuse to doing this, mentally your brain will kick in and handle the situation for you. You'll be back to being a natural. The easy part is you can practice talking to girls anywhere you go. All you need to do is find a line and it'll be an easy task for you sir.

Consider me your motivator, I have much to work on myself. I'm never satisfied, I'm always looking to go to the next level lol Both in weightlifting, school, music, and especially with women

 

[R.Hudson]

Consider me your motivator, I have much to work on myself. I'm never satisfied, I'm always looking to go to the next level lol Both in weightlifting, school, music, and especially with women

You have been very uplifting and motivational indeed! Just needed that little push to get my tail out from between my legs. So thanks again
I don't think any man anywhere is happy enough, when it comes to seduction; I still have an old list from summer for which I was to work on for this time on year...and I can't wait to get back to it now!

If you'd like, I'll keep this post updated with what happens with the hot girl (#1) and even the practice dates.
I don't think I'll drop dating women for months at a time ever again...it makes me feel somewhat backtracked!
Hudson

 

[Just_Dave]

Consider me your motivator, I have much to work on myself. I'm never satisfied, I'm always looking to go to the next level lol Both in weightlifting, school, music, and especially with women

You have been very uplifting and motivational indeed! Just needed that little push to get my tail out from between my legs. So thanks again
I don't think any man anywhere is happy enough, when it comes to seduction; I still have an old list from summer for which I was to work on for this time on year...and I can't wait to get back to it now!

If you'd like, I'll keep this post updated with what happens with the hot girl (#1) and even the practice dates.
I don't think I'll drop dating women for months at a time ever again...it makes me feel somewhat backtracked!
Hudson

Definitely man, keep me updated especially when you bag her and turn her into a LR, Lay Report.

That's the great thing about the boards how we have each others back and we look to help each other.

 

[R.Hudson]

Well! It's been a week or two now since I wrote this post; and as Bob Dylan once wrote: times are a changin'!

First off, thanks for the support Dave...I've been on 4-5 dates since this post and all but two ended back at my place, hot and heavy!
The hot girl (#1) has been bedded (a few times in fact), and I'm talking to lots more women...And oh boy do I feel the swing of things again!

Now, admittedly I have lowered my hours at work..6 days a week, 10 hours a day seems ridiculous to me now...and having an extra day off/earlier nights has opened my schedule up for dates: and while a little less money is a bit of a hit..it's nothing in comparison to the feeling of fulfillment!

Now I'm going to get some rest... as I'm hanging massively!
Hudson

 

[Just_Dave]

R. Hudson,

No worries man, I'm happy to hear things are going well for you. Thanks for the update, soon you'll be updating us will LR's.

Happy new year

Dave