- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 798
Hey guys,
So I can't really believe I'm here typing this after my post on needing to re-evaluate my game yesterday but here I am.
So, I had been on a bunch of different dates lately and felt they were all going the same, there was a definite pattern of things not progressing even if the dates were "nice" and not particularly bad in any way.
I wasn't seeing a pattern as to WHY though.
So skip forward to yesterday. I had made plans to week to meet a girl Saturday night. After the week I had and a disaster of a date on Friday I was about to cancel on her as I wasn't was feeling yet another date of the same wasn't helping.
So I decided to go, but I made some changes. I wasn't taking her to dinner, I wasn't making big plans. I was sick of going to "fancy" places and paying a fortune for a bad date.
So I told her to come meet me at a bar a block from my apartment, not a particularly fancy place, just a plain bar. I decided to just do what I wanted to do for the night instead of trying to plan an impressive date.
So I went there, met her. We spoke for a while, it was a little slow at first but I made a little effort at deep diving and similar things (I still need to work on this, but I'm improving a lot). I wasn't feeling like making a huge effort to "impress" her, I just wanted a night out. But maybe that was the reason this worked... we just got drinks and spoke, I was laid back and she began to lean in to me and touch me.
Could the fact that I WASN'T acting too eager or leaning into her be the reason it encouraged her to do so? It might well.
So instead of the usual "2 drinks and home", we were having fun, so we just stayed for another round. By that time it was heading for 11, I knew there was a cover band playing across the street at busy bar so when she mentioned getting a cab home I told her to just with me, we were going to see the band, there'll be loads of taxis outside later (which there always is).
We went there, got another drink in and we flirted a little more and I took her into the back part of the place, where the band was on. So instead of being shy I put my arm around her and we started dancing and it began to get heavy, she was obviously enjoying it. So here is where I'd have failed in the past. I'd be afraid to touch her and would wait too long to kiss her... So as we danced face to face, I just puled her in, told her she looked adorable and kissed her... She smiles and said she doesn't kiss boys in bars often... so I just told her I wanted to do that all night, so I did. She loved it and kept on kissing me all night.
So before the band finished I asked her to get out of there. At this point I could see she was open to coming back with me but I had to lead, she wasn't going to ask to come back. There was a queue for taxis and it was starting to snow so I told her to come with me... we'll keep warm and I wasn't finished kissing her
So I just lead her down the block and up to my apartment. (Logistics: This would have never happened if I tried to take her to a fancy place downtown as usual... but taking her to a crumby bar near my apartment kept the date more casual so we could get closer a lot easier and I'm 2 minutes from my apartment if a pull is on the cards.)
So the next part is something which needs a little more work. There was some resistance on her part. It wasn't huge resistance, she clearly wanted to come. But I think she needed me to make her feel like it was "ok" to come with me.
I need to work on this. Another girl might have put up much more of a fight and I need to difuse this a lot better. I think I had built enough comfort that she was ok with coming but had to hear from me that this was the ok or right thing to do (i.e. that she's not being slutty, that this just happened). I think I did pretty well since she dropped her objections once I addressed them but if another girl was resisting hard here and I didn't have as much comfort, I might haves struggled to convince her to come. I'll brush up on this.
Anyway, long story short, she came up, we made out a lot and the rest is history. She spent the night and I drove her home this morning as she had a family thing today (which is ok, she mentioned this before we ever met so nothing to read into there). Admittedly it's been a little while since I had a girl in my bed but I have to say, she was pretty fesity, really turned me on. Cute little blonde, perky, tight slim fit figure... was really into her.
Anyway, now comes the next step. I'd like to see her again.
I picked up from things she said throughout the night and this morning that she is probably hoping the same. But I also felt there may have been a little buyers remorse... similar to the resistance last night, she needed a little re-assurance that we had done the right or ok thing.
So I'm not sure how to follow up now. There is the possibility she may not want to do that again after she thinks about it. You get the usual comments like "So, is this normally how your Saturday night goes"... etc.
So we'll see. This LR on this forum though so I'm excited by that but not getting carried away. I think I played things right with this particular girl, but there are still some areas I need to work a lot on.
So I can't really believe I'm here typing this after my post on needing to re-evaluate my game yesterday but here I am.
So, I had been on a bunch of different dates lately and felt they were all going the same, there was a definite pattern of things not progressing even if the dates were "nice" and not particularly bad in any way.
I wasn't seeing a pattern as to WHY though.
So skip forward to yesterday. I had made plans to week to meet a girl Saturday night. After the week I had and a disaster of a date on Friday I was about to cancel on her as I wasn't was feeling yet another date of the same wasn't helping.
So I decided to go, but I made some changes. I wasn't taking her to dinner, I wasn't making big plans. I was sick of going to "fancy" places and paying a fortune for a bad date.
So I told her to come meet me at a bar a block from my apartment, not a particularly fancy place, just a plain bar. I decided to just do what I wanted to do for the night instead of trying to plan an impressive date.
So I went there, met her. We spoke for a while, it was a little slow at first but I made a little effort at deep diving and similar things (I still need to work on this, but I'm improving a lot). I wasn't feeling like making a huge effort to "impress" her, I just wanted a night out. But maybe that was the reason this worked... we just got drinks and spoke, I was laid back and she began to lean in to me and touch me.
Could the fact that I WASN'T acting too eager or leaning into her be the reason it encouraged her to do so? It might well.
So instead of the usual "2 drinks and home", we were having fun, so we just stayed for another round. By that time it was heading for 11, I knew there was a cover band playing across the street at busy bar so when she mentioned getting a cab home I told her to just with me, we were going to see the band, there'll be loads of taxis outside later (which there always is).
We went there, got another drink in and we flirted a little more and I took her into the back part of the place, where the band was on. So instead of being shy I put my arm around her and we started dancing and it began to get heavy, she was obviously enjoying it. So here is where I'd have failed in the past. I'd be afraid to touch her and would wait too long to kiss her... So as we danced face to face, I just puled her in, told her she looked adorable and kissed her... She smiles and said she doesn't kiss boys in bars often... so I just told her I wanted to do that all night, so I did. She loved it and kept on kissing me all night.
So before the band finished I asked her to get out of there. At this point I could see she was open to coming back with me but I had to lead, she wasn't going to ask to come back. There was a queue for taxis and it was starting to snow so I told her to come with me... we'll keep warm and I wasn't finished kissing her
So I just lead her down the block and up to my apartment. (Logistics: This would have never happened if I tried to take her to a fancy place downtown as usual... but taking her to a crumby bar near my apartment kept the date more casual so we could get closer a lot easier and I'm 2 minutes from my apartment if a pull is on the cards.)
So the next part is something which needs a little more work. There was some resistance on her part. It wasn't huge resistance, she clearly wanted to come. But I think she needed me to make her feel like it was "ok" to come with me.
I need to work on this. Another girl might have put up much more of a fight and I need to difuse this a lot better. I think I had built enough comfort that she was ok with coming but had to hear from me that this was the ok or right thing to do (i.e. that she's not being slutty, that this just happened). I think I did pretty well since she dropped her objections once I addressed them but if another girl was resisting hard here and I didn't have as much comfort, I might haves struggled to convince her to come. I'll brush up on this.
Anyway, long story short, she came up, we made out a lot and the rest is history. She spent the night and I drove her home this morning as she had a family thing today (which is ok, she mentioned this before we ever met so nothing to read into there). Admittedly it's been a little while since I had a girl in my bed but I have to say, she was pretty fesity, really turned me on. Cute little blonde, perky, tight slim fit figure... was really into her.
Anyway, now comes the next step. I'd like to see her again.
I picked up from things she said throughout the night and this morning that she is probably hoping the same. But I also felt there may have been a little buyers remorse... similar to the resistance last night, she needed a little re-assurance that we had done the right or ok thing.
So I'm not sure how to follow up now. There is the possibility she may not want to do that again after she thinks about it. You get the usual comments like "So, is this normally how your Saturday night goes"... etc.
So we'll see. This LR on this forum though so I'm excited by that but not getting carried away. I think I played things right with this particular girl, but there are still some areas I need to work a lot on.
