Hey everyone,
Before I go over the report, I wanted to give some context here. Also - not a native english speaker =)
After years of approach anxiety or just due to plain inaction... today I finally managed to approach a girl directly and have it go reasonably well. I wanted to write this so that in the future I can see how I did it. It required me to change my mindset. I had made it all about the fear. Make it my bitch, so to speak. Along with a few things that I've done over a little over a month now.
So I used some advice given from Robert King in this article (https://www.girlschase.com/content/how- ... u-ll-stick). Over the month of July I had one goal - stop watching porn and masturbating, completely. I knew that this was holding me back, for years. But I always gone back to it, specially when I tried to approach girls and then going home feeling frustrated and hopeless. So I dedicated an entire month to get rid of it, so that when things don't go my way, I don't just go back to it. This obviously increased my attraction to girls in general and motivate myself to learn to seduce them.
The "August goal" was(is) to start cold approaching girls directly. Learn to give them good and genuine complements without feeling really anxious like in the past and make it a habit. I struggled in the last week to manage to do it but here we are today =)
So here is the field report. It's a bit long and detailed but I want to remember it all in the future so that I don't forget the lessons I learned here.
I went to the beach. In the morning I went there and just wanted to feel relaxed in it. Not anxious. So that when I would go to approach girls the enviroment wasn't also a source of anxiety. And relaxed I was.
Going back from the beach, I had a thought - since coming up with genuine complements while nervous seem so difficult, why don't I try the "are you single?" opener?
After lunch I went to beach again to try to ask at least 1 girl if she is single. I could not do it. It was the same feeling as if I was trying to move a huge boulder and it just wouldn't move. It was always the same. I was staring to feel down and desperate, again. If I could not even talk to girls, how would I even practice almost all the things that GC talks about? Am I hopeless? But I wasn't done. I started feel a little mad too. Angry at that stupid fear. It was all internal. When I'm relaxed, a fair amount of attractive girls actually give glances at me, give me approach invitations and when I look at then they look down. But when I go out feeling nervous because I said to myself that I was going to try to talk to them, all that goes away. I'm a different person.
So I went to walk a bit in the local town close to the beach. This time I wasn't trying to relax and at the same time trying to talk to girls. I was focused on dominating that fear. I was watching it. Keeping a close eye on it and make it go away. There wasn't many attractive girls walking around alone. But then I saw this one really cute girl with a gray dress walking on the perpendicular street to the one I was in. I started to walk faster so that could catch up to her, but she was also walking pretty fast. After a bit the stopped. "This is my chance" - I thought. My heart was pounding hard. As I got closer to her, I looked better at her face and saw that she really was cute. I started to slow down to start to talk her. Then I saw a woman, in her 40s probably, looking sternly and continuously at me just before I was about to talk to the cute girl. And... I didn't approach the girl... again, and kept walking. I'm still not sure why, but the look of that woman looked a bit judgmental to me, as if she knew what I was about to do she just disapproved it. In the future, I have to not let this stop me from approaching girls. Who the fuck is that woman to judge me anything about this anyway? Probably this is just me being a bit paranoid. But anyway, I continued walking, feeling worse and then I saw her. A girl with gorgeous long natural blond hair was walking towards me in the same street. My heart jumped again. At a time she seemed to had changed streets and I lost track of where she was but then she appeared again, close enough so that I could talk to her. She didn't seem local to me (I'm from Portugal) so I started to talk to her in english, since there are a lot of tourists at this time of the year here.
Me: Excuse me?
Her: Oh! Do you speak portuguese?
(In portuguese from here)
Me: Ah so you speak portuguese.
Her: Yeah.
Me: I saw you walking over there... (I paused here - I was a bit nervous and was thinking what I should say) and I just had to come to tell you that (paused again) you have really beautiful hair.
Her: (gasps) Oh! Thank you! (She was visibly flattered. Looking back, thorough this interaction she had kind of this facial expression close to what Chase talked about called 'doggy dinner bowl look' a few weeks ago but she only wasn't smiling as much but more of an open mouth, raised eyebrows, really expectant to what I had to say - hard to explain - but she did respond warmly to my compliment)
(Brief silence. Wasn't sure what to do next)
Me: I'm Lossanzo! (I extend my hand with the palm face upwards)
Her: I'm Sara!
(I take her hand briefly)
Me: So what are you doing here?
Her: I'm from here!
Me: Oh you're from here.
Her: Yeah. I lived a bit in England but then I came back.
Me: I'm from Olhão. Do you know it?
Her: Yeah. Never been there but I know it.
(another pause)
Me: You really do have really beautiful hair.
Her: (gasps again)
Me: (laughing a bit) All right. That's all.
(I resume walking and so does she)
Not smooth. The opener was good but then I just didn't focus the conversation on her enough. She talking about having lived in England for a while would be a great starting point to deep dive. But one thing at a time. I made her feel good with the compliment. That is a huge win for me.
Before I go over the report, I wanted to give some context here. Also - not a native english speaker =)
After years of approach anxiety or just due to plain inaction... today I finally managed to approach a girl directly and have it go reasonably well. I wanted to write this so that in the future I can see how I did it. It required me to change my mindset. I had made it all about the fear. Make it my bitch, so to speak. Along with a few things that I've done over a little over a month now.
So I used some advice given from Robert King in this article (https://www.girlschase.com/content/how- ... u-ll-stick). Over the month of July I had one goal - stop watching porn and masturbating, completely. I knew that this was holding me back, for years. But I always gone back to it, specially when I tried to approach girls and then going home feeling frustrated and hopeless. So I dedicated an entire month to get rid of it, so that when things don't go my way, I don't just go back to it. This obviously increased my attraction to girls in general and motivate myself to learn to seduce them.
The "August goal" was(is) to start cold approaching girls directly. Learn to give them good and genuine complements without feeling really anxious like in the past and make it a habit. I struggled in the last week to manage to do it but here we are today =)
So here is the field report. It's a bit long and detailed but I want to remember it all in the future so that I don't forget the lessons I learned here.
I went to the beach. In the morning I went there and just wanted to feel relaxed in it. Not anxious. So that when I would go to approach girls the enviroment wasn't also a source of anxiety. And relaxed I was.
Going back from the beach, I had a thought - since coming up with genuine complements while nervous seem so difficult, why don't I try the "are you single?" opener?
After lunch I went to beach again to try to ask at least 1 girl if she is single. I could not do it. It was the same feeling as if I was trying to move a huge boulder and it just wouldn't move. It was always the same. I was staring to feel down and desperate, again. If I could not even talk to girls, how would I even practice almost all the things that GC talks about? Am I hopeless? But I wasn't done. I started feel a little mad too. Angry at that stupid fear. It was all internal. When I'm relaxed, a fair amount of attractive girls actually give glances at me, give me approach invitations and when I look at then they look down. But when I go out feeling nervous because I said to myself that I was going to try to talk to them, all that goes away. I'm a different person.
So I went to walk a bit in the local town close to the beach. This time I wasn't trying to relax and at the same time trying to talk to girls. I was focused on dominating that fear. I was watching it. Keeping a close eye on it and make it go away. There wasn't many attractive girls walking around alone. But then I saw this one really cute girl with a gray dress walking on the perpendicular street to the one I was in. I started to walk faster so that could catch up to her, but she was also walking pretty fast. After a bit the stopped. "This is my chance" - I thought. My heart was pounding hard. As I got closer to her, I looked better at her face and saw that she really was cute. I started to slow down to start to talk her. Then I saw a woman, in her 40s probably, looking sternly and continuously at me just before I was about to talk to the cute girl. And... I didn't approach the girl... again, and kept walking. I'm still not sure why, but the look of that woman looked a bit judgmental to me, as if she knew what I was about to do she just disapproved it. In the future, I have to not let this stop me from approaching girls. Who the fuck is that woman to judge me anything about this anyway? Probably this is just me being a bit paranoid. But anyway, I continued walking, feeling worse and then I saw her. A girl with gorgeous long natural blond hair was walking towards me in the same street. My heart jumped again. At a time she seemed to had changed streets and I lost track of where she was but then she appeared again, close enough so that I could talk to her. She didn't seem local to me (I'm from Portugal) so I started to talk to her in english, since there are a lot of tourists at this time of the year here.
Me: Excuse me?
Her: Oh! Do you speak portuguese?
(In portuguese from here)
Me: Ah so you speak portuguese.
Her: Yeah.
Me: I saw you walking over there... (I paused here - I was a bit nervous and was thinking what I should say) and I just had to come to tell you that (paused again) you have really beautiful hair.
Her: (gasps) Oh! Thank you! (She was visibly flattered. Looking back, thorough this interaction she had kind of this facial expression close to what Chase talked about called 'doggy dinner bowl look' a few weeks ago but she only wasn't smiling as much but more of an open mouth, raised eyebrows, really expectant to what I had to say - hard to explain - but she did respond warmly to my compliment)
(Brief silence. Wasn't sure what to do next)
Me: I'm Lossanzo! (I extend my hand with the palm face upwards)
Her: I'm Sara!
(I take her hand briefly)
Me: So what are you doing here?
Her: I'm from here!
Me: Oh you're from here.
Her: Yeah. I lived a bit in England but then I came back.
Me: I'm from Olhão. Do you know it?
Her: Yeah. Never been there but I know it.
(another pause)
Me: You really do have really beautiful hair.
Her: (gasps again)
Me: (laughing a bit) All right. That's all.
(I resume walking and so does she)
Not smooth. The opener was good but then I just didn't focus the conversation on her enough. She talking about having lived in England for a while would be a great starting point to deep dive. But one thing at a time. I made her feel good with the compliment. That is a huge win for me.
