Howdy!
I work as a street fundraiser, which makes it a really great place to meet new girls. I first met Nicole at the university I was fundraising at - we had a pretty relaxed conversation, but the sexual tension was lacking. In any case, I figured I'd invite her out for coffee - why the hell not. Nicole lives at the university college, which is on the university campus.
Fast forward a few days, we meet up for coffee. I already know her schedule ahead of time - she has to leave for work in about an hour, so I don't bother trying to pull back to her place. We meet up at the same university campus and grab some coffee in one of the buildings. Since all the tables and chairs are occupied, we sit on the floor. We're sitting on the same side as each other, so we need to turn our heads to maintain eye contact.
We had a pretty average conversation - sexual tension was minimal, (she kept on looking away... which brings me to wonder: How do I get girls to lock eyes with me to allow the sexual tension to set? Lately it's been a sticking point for me - where it seems that some girls look away 50% of the time, making it really difficult to build up that chemistry. Still trying to figure that out. I digress.) and the conversation seemed boring, and lacking sexual tension. Having said that, I think my fundamentals were pretty good on that day - style and seating posture were on point, I spoke pretty slowly and emphasised on slowness. This was also the first time that I'd tried to experiment with chase framing. She mentioned writing daily journals in her diary.
For the majority of the time, I was trying to get her to invest and chase me (so that I could reward her), but it didn't really seem to happen. Eventually, I just gave up - no investment, no excitement... nothing. Just a pretty ordinary conversation like that I'd have with a friend. She then leaves for work and I bid her adieu. I didn't expect to hear from her again.
A week later, completely out of the blue:
Not really sure what the radio silence was about, but we arranged to meet up for drinks on a Friday night. We meet up inside a busy shopping centre in the heart of Melbourne, and whilst she's waiting for me, she browses the side shop. I call her, but her phone's dead. Out of nowhere, a mutual friend (someone who works at the shop) beckons me over, and before I know it, I'm talking to Ben and Nicole. I haven't spoken to Ben for months, so we catch up briefly (I largely ignore Nicole whilst talking to Ben) - I was in a really social mood, and pushed the right buttons with Ben. He says "This dudes, freaking awesome" to Nicole. Social proof..?
We then proceed off to a nearby bar, (10 minute walk to her place) - at this point I focus on building rapport. I'd come to realise that Nicole was a pretty introverted girl, and she divulged to me later that night that she didn't have many friends at uni because she was so shy. We head over to the bar, and I order a beer. She orders burgers with fries because she hasn't eaten yet. We sit at a right angle to each other and I largely remain silent, using a lot of pregnant pauses, and talking slowly. She seems visibly nervous and asks me a lot of questions about my job. I try to incidentally touch her elbows and arms to get her used to my touch. As we continue our conversation, and I make a large gesture with my hands... but before I know it, the unthinkable happens. I knock over my full glass of beer all over her, soaking through her jumper and jeans. Needless to say, I apologised profusely, but she totally seemed cool with it. I make sure to reward her by stroking the small of her back as well as her arm. We continued the conversation, but same problem as before persisted - the sexual tension was lacking. She kept staring off into the distance, making it really hard to build any chemistry.
Eventually she's done with her meal and we leave the bar - instinctively, I lead her to walk in the direction towards her place. We keep the conversation light, and 2 minutes into the walk, she asks where we are going. I know that I needed to move fast and decisively pull her back to her place. In my mind, I knew that it would've been a great opportunity to head back to her place to change out of her clothes - but I hesitated. Instead we grab a seat on a nearby bench. Darn it.
At this point, my mind is fighting with me, I need to keep pushing forwards.
Seemed like a really sloppy pull, but I got a really strong feeling that she didn't feel comfortable bringing me back to her place. In hindsight, she seemed like a really nervous and uncomfortable person in general. We grab a seat on the bench, we continue the dull conversation which seems to be going nowhere. At this point, she's giving me eye contact about 10% of the time. The other 90% she's looking off into the distance. I become frustrated, and have no idea how to inspire her to chase me. At this point, I know it's do or die. I'm never going to see her again if I don't pull. We come across the topic of trees, as we stare at a huge tree in the park we're at. She mentions she likes the tree because it's big, and I slip in a cheeky "so you like it big, huh?" innuendo to keep the mood light. Not sure if I should've said that, but at least she laughed. At some point we start talking about social media, and she mentions that she has a Tumblr account dedicated to trees.
At this point I'm thinking about how much of a ball buster Nicole is. During the 10 minute walk towards her place, my focus is on building comfort and diffusing tension. She seems even more uncomfortable than usual. I do pretty well at building comfort and we talk about our university courses - science and biomedicine, keeping it strictly safe. Before I know it, we're in her room.
This is the first time I've ever pulled a girl - it seemed surreal to me.
I lay down my bag and head over to her laptop, and reaffirm that I really want to see her tree blog (I didn't). She seems tense and uncomfortable and complies. I sit on the floor, while she's sitting on her desk chair working through her laptop. Eventually she shows me her blog and it's true - she does actually have a Tumblr blog about trees! We then continue talking for a while longer, but there's an uncomfortable distance between us.
There is a really tense air of unease and she seems uncomfortable. At multiple times she mentions having to catch up on her studying. I just ignore her and change subjects. After sitting right next to me, she still refuses to look me in the eye. At some point I rest my hand on her hands as we're talking, and she instantly reacts by saying, "I think I need to go study soon." I remove my hand and I lean way back, looking for any escalation windows I could work with. No dice. To be honest, I don't think she gave me a single escalation window that night - she seemed very reserved. We then start to talk about the weird objects in her room - I point to a fancy looking cup.
Suddenly it hit me - this girl was a conservative Christian. Throughout the night, instead of saying "fuck" she'd say "fek". The unnerving vibe that appeared as soon as I walked into her room seemed to reaffirm that, and it completely fit with her vibe. Once again she says she needs to study, and I realise that this isn't going anywhere and I decided to leave. She walks me out and we say our goodbyes. Still can't believe I managed to pull after spilling a beer on her haha.
-----
So this has been a bit of a long report, but I wanted to get some opinions on this! It was an underwhelming first ever pull, but at least I managed to isolate us!
I figured that with this particular girl, she wasn't really that into me in the first place. With my future dates, I'd probably aim to make sure that there's some initial chemistry going on before exchanging numbers - otherwise, it seems like a bit of a waste of time. But then again I could be wrong. Thanks for reading up on my first pull!
- Jeff
I work as a street fundraiser, which makes it a really great place to meet new girls. I first met Nicole at the university I was fundraising at - we had a pretty relaxed conversation, but the sexual tension was lacking. In any case, I figured I'd invite her out for coffee - why the hell not. Nicole lives at the university college, which is on the university campus.
Fast forward a few days, we meet up for coffee. I already know her schedule ahead of time - she has to leave for work in about an hour, so I don't bother trying to pull back to her place. We meet up at the same university campus and grab some coffee in one of the buildings. Since all the tables and chairs are occupied, we sit on the floor. We're sitting on the same side as each other, so we need to turn our heads to maintain eye contact.
We had a pretty average conversation - sexual tension was minimal, (she kept on looking away... which brings me to wonder: How do I get girls to lock eyes with me to allow the sexual tension to set? Lately it's been a sticking point for me - where it seems that some girls look away 50% of the time, making it really difficult to build up that chemistry. Still trying to figure that out. I digress.) and the conversation seemed boring, and lacking sexual tension. Having said that, I think my fundamentals were pretty good on that day - style and seating posture were on point, I spoke pretty slowly and emphasised on slowness. This was also the first time that I'd tried to experiment with chase framing. She mentioned writing daily journals in her diary.
For the majority of the time, I was trying to get her to invest and chase me (so that I could reward her), but it didn't really seem to happen. Eventually, I just gave up - no investment, no excitement... nothing. Just a pretty ordinary conversation like that I'd have with a friend. She then leaves for work and I bid her adieu. I didn't expect to hear from her again.
A week later, completely out of the blue:
Not really sure what the radio silence was about, but we arranged to meet up for drinks on a Friday night. We meet up inside a busy shopping centre in the heart of Melbourne, and whilst she's waiting for me, she browses the side shop. I call her, but her phone's dead. Out of nowhere, a mutual friend (someone who works at the shop) beckons me over, and before I know it, I'm talking to Ben and Nicole. I haven't spoken to Ben for months, so we catch up briefly (I largely ignore Nicole whilst talking to Ben) - I was in a really social mood, and pushed the right buttons with Ben. He says "This dudes, freaking awesome" to Nicole. Social proof..?
We then proceed off to a nearby bar, (10 minute walk to her place) - at this point I focus on building rapport. I'd come to realise that Nicole was a pretty introverted girl, and she divulged to me later that night that she didn't have many friends at uni because she was so shy. We head over to the bar, and I order a beer. She orders burgers with fries because she hasn't eaten yet. We sit at a right angle to each other and I largely remain silent, using a lot of pregnant pauses, and talking slowly. She seems visibly nervous and asks me a lot of questions about my job. I try to incidentally touch her elbows and arms to get her used to my touch. As we continue our conversation, and I make a large gesture with my hands... but before I know it, the unthinkable happens. I knock over my full glass of beer all over her, soaking through her jumper and jeans. Needless to say, I apologised profusely, but she totally seemed cool with it. I make sure to reward her by stroking the small of her back as well as her arm. We continued the conversation, but same problem as before persisted - the sexual tension was lacking. She kept staring off into the distance, making it really hard to build any chemistry.
Eventually she's done with her meal and we leave the bar - instinctively, I lead her to walk in the direction towards her place. We keep the conversation light, and 2 minutes into the walk, she asks where we are going. I know that I needed to move fast and decisively pull her back to her place. In my mind, I knew that it would've been a great opportunity to head back to her place to change out of her clothes - but I hesitated. Instead we grab a seat on a nearby bench. Darn it.
At this point, my mind is fighting with me, I need to keep pushing forwards.
Seemed like a really sloppy pull, but I got a really strong feeling that she didn't feel comfortable bringing me back to her place. In hindsight, she seemed like a really nervous and uncomfortable person in general. We grab a seat on the bench, we continue the dull conversation which seems to be going nowhere. At this point, she's giving me eye contact about 10% of the time. The other 90% she's looking off into the distance. I become frustrated, and have no idea how to inspire her to chase me. At this point, I know it's do or die. I'm never going to see her again if I don't pull. We come across the topic of trees, as we stare at a huge tree in the park we're at. She mentions she likes the tree because it's big, and I slip in a cheeky "so you like it big, huh?" innuendo to keep the mood light. Not sure if I should've said that, but at least she laughed. At some point we start talking about social media, and she mentions that she has a Tumblr account dedicated to trees.
At this point I'm thinking about how much of a ball buster Nicole is. During the 10 minute walk towards her place, my focus is on building comfort and diffusing tension. She seems even more uncomfortable than usual. I do pretty well at building comfort and we talk about our university courses - science and biomedicine, keeping it strictly safe. Before I know it, we're in her room.
This is the first time I've ever pulled a girl - it seemed surreal to me.
I lay down my bag and head over to her laptop, and reaffirm that I really want to see her tree blog (I didn't). She seems tense and uncomfortable and complies. I sit on the floor, while she's sitting on her desk chair working through her laptop. Eventually she shows me her blog and it's true - she does actually have a Tumblr blog about trees! We then continue talking for a while longer, but there's an uncomfortable distance between us.
There is a really tense air of unease and she seems uncomfortable. At multiple times she mentions having to catch up on her studying. I just ignore her and change subjects. After sitting right next to me, she still refuses to look me in the eye. At some point I rest my hand on her hands as we're talking, and she instantly reacts by saying, "I think I need to go study soon." I remove my hand and I lean way back, looking for any escalation windows I could work with. No dice. To be honest, I don't think she gave me a single escalation window that night - she seemed very reserved. We then start to talk about the weird objects in her room - I point to a fancy looking cup.
Suddenly it hit me - this girl was a conservative Christian. Throughout the night, instead of saying "fuck" she'd say "fek". The unnerving vibe that appeared as soon as I walked into her room seemed to reaffirm that, and it completely fit with her vibe. Once again she says she needs to study, and I realise that this isn't going anywhere and I decided to leave. She walks me out and we say our goodbyes. Still can't believe I managed to pull after spilling a beer on her haha.
-----
So this has been a bit of a long report, but I wanted to get some opinions on this! It was an underwhelming first ever pull, but at least I managed to isolate us!
I figured that with this particular girl, she wasn't really that into me in the first place. With my future dates, I'd probably aim to make sure that there's some initial chemistry going on before exchanging numbers - otherwise, it seems like a bit of a waste of time. But then again I could be wrong. Thanks for reading up on my first pull!
- Jeff
