FR First info date: When luck,GC concept and persistence synergize!

[Witcher]

Little Dislaimer:
Even if i'am a board member since some time now, It's my first official field report. So if the Suffixe used is not the appropriate for the post content please let me know and I will make the necessary changes.

Hello everyone,

Today I want to share with you the first "real" date and how I couldn't get it having not followed most of GC principles a lot of persistence ( 1 month and half since the first date request) and following results rather than reactions with also some little luck too. Even if It's was an informational date (the first in my life again) I'm sure that the feedbacks I will get will make me better for the future and It can help many other rookies.

Little background and prologue:

In order to have a better understanding of the last interaction to the readers, I will start by giving some information about myself and my past interaction with the girl. Which I already talked about them in the "I will let you know" thread.

• Location: North Africa So conservative country
  Problem: Not having my own place, which is common in my country.Since most people leave in parent basement until marriage.
  Seduction level: Kissless Virgin with a very good social life.

The girl and I are both alumni of our past student organization. We never had the chance to talk when in office, but we met and talked and connected at a networking event where we were both invited.
Since she is a facebook friend, we had to chance to talk on Facebook and planned to go on dates but unfortunately, both of our schedules didn't allow us to make it happen (yes even mine). At one moment, I just left this there.

One day, however, it was like a traditional event in my country ( like Christmas) in my country, where she managed to message me first to send me her wishes, and after some little talk, I asked her out which she agreed, She gave me the "I will let you know" and I proceeded as you said. Exerpt from the chat below:

Her: Not sure, about this week, I have extra work. I'm alone in the office so i have to deal with everything until the new recruit comes.
Me: Or we can do it in weekend?
Me: Or know what, let's talk and re-plane this next week. I think that would be better.
Her: Blabalbla , I will update you ^^
Her: Why did you say you're living like a monk
Me: Blabla answering. Its okay if you're busy. let's just do it another day.
Some little small talk
Me: So I have to go, Se Ya later and Sweet Dreams.
Her: Good Nigh, and Sweet dreams to you to witcher.

I didn't interact with her after this anymore, and like 1 week or little more after that, she messages me out of the blue in the morning with a "Have a cute day " This is what I consider the other feminine classic.
My friend who is a natural told me that It's her testing the shit to see if I'm still interested after my silence.

I managed to answer her at the end of the day with a "Thanks, Sara, So sweet of you. Ad It was a very cute one"
After that we had some talk, while teasing her for being at the office while I was heading to the beach. (Truth ) .
I ended the talk without asking her out again.

Asking in the thread Seppuku told me that I did great and that I should reengage her and then askg her out again after a couple of days.
The problem here, fear and resistance took over me and I took a lot of time to reengage her ( more than one week). Seppuku warned me against this telling me that the girl will go on auto-rejection, and he was right! At least they way she was responding to me after that was seemed to confirm this.
However after some texting, I managed to get her back on good mood and asked her out again, which she agreed. Bad luck and insecurity against me, I had to flake on her, I told her the night before that I can't make it, she told me that it was okay but the text was so dry, the girl is falling on Auto-rejection more and more.

So at this moment, I had a choice either continue or leave it there, however this time I choose to stick to the rules I defined for myself and one of them was the ones Chase gave in the post "Don't chase them, replace them" where he advised to drop after 2 months, and this limit didn't happen yet so I will persist. Follow the process!

Getting THE DATE:

As I just said, I was determined to persist until the 2 month limit which was the 30 of October. But there should be a good and bad way to persist, I started to browse trough GC articles about phone calls, texting and auto-rejection. i found my answers from the following articles:

* Making the first phone call.
* The boding call
* What to do when she doesn't text back.
* Always assume attraction

However, and even if it's not advised on the website, I got on series of chat with her on facebook, I bascically planned to do the Boding call + ask her out on the Social Media Messenger. I did this not to challenge the statu quo, but I didn't have her number yet and It was the only comfortable way to reach her at that moment So I took the only option I can do rather than stay inactive.
In the chat, following the advise of the bonding phone call article , I should share something interesting about myself, I told her the real and funny story of a serie of playful banters I had with my dad about My 6 packs Abs and the process of loosing it and getting them back. The chat went well and I was planning to ask her out for Saturday because I would be In downtown for training at business school near when she lives. Bad timing, It was late at night 1Am she disconncted leaving a "seen" to my last message before asking her out!

Keeping my clam and determination ( we are not 30 October yet remember?), I was planning to ask her out for coffee after my training as soon as we have our launch break at School. This is the moment where out of luck me going to take launch I came across her! Even if I was poorly dressed, I reached her and we "Cheek Kissed" and chitchated a little bit I told her that I have to go right now but was she free in 2 hours for Coffee? She told that She was free I took her number and then remembered that I was out of credit So i advised her to keep her mobile internet open because of that (I have free facebook) so we can reach each others.

When I finished the class, I send her and FB text to see where she was. At that moment I just had the thought that I have no fucking idea where to take her ! ( my first Info date remember!) So walking to our meeting spot I started to check the city for a good place having in mind the Cs and I found one, A very Covert Ice cream/Cofee shop between 2 streets !
We met and we had that little chat :

Me: Hey , so finished your errands?
Her: Yeah
Me: So Coffee or Ice Cream -- > I just remembered that I have to take the lead!
Her: as you like
Me: Okay Ice cream then

On the way to our date place, I felt that she was little nervous and little silent, and one of NLP rules of cat was You go first so I started sharing some stuff and that bam the magic happen she began talkative!

We arrived at the ice cream shop, I choose the table, the most far from the crowd table. We both ordered, she took the same thing as me.
During the date (I can't remember the exact conversation words so I give the general direction). I did my first deep-diving she told me about her current career that she doesn't like and what she wants to do instead and asked e about myself I gave little details.I made some mistakes as going to some monologues and had problems of body languages: "Should I have leaning back or leaned it posture"? Giving too much thought to this I decided to let it be the way i feel at that moment and focus on enjoying my chat with the girl. i actually wans't expecting that I could deep dive her so easily.
The conversation was going well, at one moment she told me that we should go since she didn't like the cigarette smelling of one guy behind us, ( Yes I should have been the one to end the date first but I was enjoying myself and her too much )

We got the pay, and I paid ( don"t know if it was a good bar or doesn't really matter) and It wasn' that expensive! Walking we continued to chat and then I told her that I have to go now. I accompanied her to her taxi spot, we cheek kissed and said good bye.

When I was back home (2 hours later) I texted her:

Hey Sara
Happy that we had our unexpected meeting!
It was good to see you and thank you for the sharing [Warm emoticone]

She replied:

Hey thank you so much for this afternoon, it was really nice to meet you and chat with you [Same emoticone]

To be continued! Comments, Suggestions, How to proceed?

What I learned :
-Follow the process and the guiding policies.
-Ask questions and read articles as you advance through the interaction, you are not supposed to remember everything at once.
-It's not supposed to be perfect, do the best you can the way you can.
-Advance interaction and don't try to read girls mind.

Thank You!

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Witcher,

Her: Not sure, about this week, I have extra work. I'm alone in the office so i have to deal with everything until the new recruit comes.
Me: Or we can do it in weekend?
Me: Or know what, let's talk and re-plane this next week. I think that would be better.
Her: Blabalbla , I will update you ^^
Her: Why did you say you're living like a monk
Me: Blabla answering. Its okay if you're busy. let's just do it another day.
Some little small talk
Me: So I have to go, Se Ya later and Sweet Dreams.
Her: Good Nigh, and Sweet dreams to you to witcher.

The "I will let you know" is a typical trap where most of us has spent a lot of time scratching our heads. I'm glad you used this little trick described here: The "I will let you know" shit test. With 90% chance, it saved you hours of frustration waiting for a confirmation that will never come, then hours in chasing mode after that. Instead, you retake the leadership back on your camp and keep the possibility of a future date at your discretion. Well done.

I didn't interact with her after this anymore, and like 1 week or little more after that, she messages me out of the blue in the morning with a "Have a cute day " This is what I consider the other feminine classic.
My friend who is a natural told me that It's her testing the shit to see if I'm still interested after my silence.

Well done again. Not only you didn't fall into the "let you know trap", but also you didn't ended up chasing her ass. Good job so far. Yes, she's pinging you to see if you're still interested. But also she is now intrigued because you behave differently than 90pct guys she met before. You're different. She can't read you. You're mystery and challenge.

Asking in the thread Seppuku told me that I did great and that I should reengage her and then askg her out again after a couple of days.
The problem here, fear and resistance took over me and I took a lot of time to reengage her ( more than one week). Seppuku warned me against this telling me that the girl will go on auto-rejection, and he was right! At least they way she was responding to me after that was seemed to confirm this.

Silence is a powerful texting weapon, but to be used wisely and moderately. You should have reengaged her the next day after her ping. Waiting another week was very risky. Now she believes that, after all, you're not interested, and go in auto reject mode.

However after some texting, I managed to get her back on good mood and asked her out again, which she agreed. Bad luck and insecurity against me, I had to flake on her, I told her the night before that I can't make it, she told me that it was okay but the text was so dry, the girl is falling on Auto-rejection more and more.

Lucky you. Not all girls will follow you through all this. Good job in the end, but don't try this again OK? The rest was quite a long and complicated process to reverse the mistakes and get her out.

On the way to our date place, I felt that she was little nervous and little silent, and one of NLP rules of cat was You go first so I started sharing some stuff and that bam the magic happen she began talkative!

Your job on a date is not to impress her (like many guys think), but to manage her emotions. You did good here.

We arrived at the ice cream shop, I choose the table, the most far from the crowd table. We both ordered, she took the same thing as me.

Good choice of table. A quiet corner is better. It seems you did a good job with the deep diving. Was she talking most of the time?
Some other tips for next time:

• 
  * Better to be seated side by side than face to face. Much more friendly, more "cooperative", less "confrontational". Both of you with your bodies pointed in the same direction, instead of opposite directions. Also much easier to touch her while you talk because she's closer to you.
  
  * Body language: be aware of your posture and overall body language at all times.
  
  * Touching: You didn't mention any, apart from cheek kissing. It's very important, maybe the most along with the deep diving. Touching subcommunicates "I like you". It also says "I'm comfortable with your body. I can handle you". It introduces sexuality. It will make her think of you sexually. Done properly, you can actually make her very horny! You need to break the physical barrier of touch very early on. You do this with "incidental touching", along the conversation. Later on you do some deliberate touching. More advanced: even later on in the date, you can do more sexual touching like legs, breast and ass. Yes! Read the articles on touching.

OK, not too bad for your first date ever, but you're still far from the end goal. You will need many more dates to accumulate more reference points. Also, on each new date, you will need to set yourself an objective that pushes you out of your comfort zone. Say, for instance, that next time your objective will be to caress her hair while talking, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Also, what is your end goal? At some point, you will need to attempt sexual escalation. You will need to have in mind an intimate place where you can bring her. Start giving a thought about that. Where will you take her?

To be continued! Comments, Suggestions, How to proceed?

If all you want is to learn about dating, you can as well get new dates with new girls.
Regarding this particular girl, you have first to be clear of what you want to achieve with her on next date. There needs to be some progress in your interaction. Clarify your own goal, then don't wait to reconnect her and ask her out again. Do not let her grow cold again!

Seppuku

 

[Witcher]

Hey Witcher,

Seppuku,

Before anything, Thank you for these very detailed observations and for repeating the notes you have put in the linked thread which makes the post more easily understandable.

First I'ma happy to see that I making progress, I said that It was my first date ever, I forgot to precise that It was the first one using GirlsChase concepts, but even if It's only the third real one so.

Also, what is your end goal? At some point, you will need to attempt sexual escalation. You will need to have in mind an intimate place where you can bring her. Start giving a thought about that. Where will you take her?

Lucky you. Not all girls will follow you through all this. Good job in the end, but don't try this again OK?

Okay Sensei !

Good choice of table. A quiet corner is better. It seems you did a good job with the deep diving. Was she talking most of the time?

She was talking most of the time, however, I had to actively refrain myself from adding my content to the conversation which is still a very difficult thing for me.

* Body language: be aware of your posture and overall body language at all times.

Yeah I indirectly asked this question in the repport. In a date should the boduy language be more in leaning toward her in a "friendly manner" or more of a leaning back to affirm my " status"?

* Touching: You didn't mention any, apart from cheek kissing. It's very important, maybe the most along with the deep diving. Touching subcommunicates "I like you". It also says "I'm comfortable with your body. I can handle you". It introduces sexuality. It will make her think of you sexually. Done properly, you can actually make her very horny! You need to break the physical barrier of touch very early on. You do this with "incidental touching", along the conversation. Later on you do some deliberate touching. More advanced: even later on in the date, you can do more sexual touching like legs, breast and ass. Yes! Read the articles on touching.

I didn't mention it because yeah there wasn't that much of it. Beside the cheek kisses, at the meeting and the goodbye moment, the only moment I touched here was 2. The first was when we too out seats where I removed an "imaginary thing" from the corner of her eye and at the end when i "erased" some chocolate she had or her inferior lip.

If all you want is to learn about dating, you can as well get new dates with new girls.
Regarding this particular girl, you have first to be clear of what you want to achieve with her on next date. There needs to be some progress in your interaction. Clarify your own goal, then don't wait to reconnect her and ask her out again. Do not let her grow cold again!

That is a thing I'm thinking about a lot and one that is really confusing me. So handling my social life, I am meeting a lot of girls that I really like and that I would want a GF and that seems to look for that but I'm not going for long-term stuff any soon for many reasons discussed in the website. However, the logistical and Social hell of my country doesn't make fast Pulls, Moving fast and meeting a lot of girls not impossible but indeed very hard.

Every date can take a lot of time to be scheduled and run ( 2/3 Weeks in average) and let's not talk about the second or third one, first date Sex is usually harder since most people live at parents home (the extended family model and high rents), Girls usually are not allowed by these parents to hang out during the night and transport is limited starting late afternoon.

So fast sex being really difficult to have I'm obliged to go to a more traditional courtship process and even if It's good for learning and getting reference point, I'm feeling that I'm "Wasting" a lot of girls that I like and making their attraction expire by either courting them longer or going for the sake of learning and not following up which make them either go auto-rejection or attraction will expire.
I don't know if it's my Scarcity mentality still playing, but it's a real pity to loose girls that I like just because of this. This was one of the reaons I wasn't asking a lot of girls out before ( if i can't fuck them fats and do'nt want GF why bother), this time even if I really liked the girl and wanted to meet her, It was also to fight my insecurities and teach my self-persistence.

So points to work on:
1. Move fast anyways and don't beat around the bush
2.Touch
3.Clarify my goals with Girls

Thank You again !