FR First Report

[Sophisticated Gent]

This is the first time I have officially attempted approach after reading GC. I have always been descent at talking to women but truly had no clue how to progress. I went to the airport today to pick up my daughter. Since I have very little time to myself I decided to go early to try approaching women. I got to the airport 1 hour early. When I got there I saw a few women but they were either with other people or they were heading for the gate. I didn't think it wise to approach a woman in the security line. I walked around for about 1/2 hr without seeing anyone worth approaching. I decided to head for the gate and wait for my daughter. I was a little disappointed. So I walked up to the area and there was hardly anyone there. There was one Asian lady sitting so I sat a few seats down. I looked her over and decided she was mid to late 30s and decent looking. I figured I could use some practice so I started up a conversation.

me: Are you waiting for someone.
her: Yes my sister and her daughter.
me: Where are they coming from?
her: LA. They are on a tourist tour and wanted to see me.
me: Are they from her?
her: no they are from China.
me: Are you going to take them around? There Is a lot to do around here?
her: They want to go shopping. Things are cheaper here than in China like Nike shoe.
me: So are you going to take them to (shopping area with two big outlet malls)?
her: Yes
me: I work in that area.
her: What do you do?
me: I am an engineer. (We go back and forth on what I do for a minute.)
me: What do you do?
her: I am a computer programmer.
me: Who do you work for?
her: (A big telecommunications company)
me: Do you work downtown?
her No I work from home.
me: Do you like working from home?
her: For two to three days a week. It gets lonely without social interaction.
me: I understand. Are you married?
her:Yes.
me: Me also. I have two daughters.
her: Are they grown up?
me: Yes they live on there own. Do you have kids?
her: Yes, two. They are 10 and 13 years old.
me: Where do you live?
her: Central city. We moved there for the better school. Where do you live?
me: South of the city.
her: You have a long drive to work? About an hour?
me: Yes 49 miles. I am Steve. What is your name?
her: (She said her Chinese name) you can call me D....
me: I put out my hand and we shake hands. I didn't hold long enough.

We talked for a little longer and her sister showed up. I told her it was nice to meet her and she said bye.

Good: I did some deep diving, got her name, shook her hand.
Bad: I didn't get a phone number. I didn't get hold her hand long enough. I needed more time.

Things I learned:

Knowing the lay off the land is important. While I was talking with D I saw a few attractive ladies come in from the gate. I was in the wrong place earlier.
I have to listen and think about what the lady is saying. D said she works from home and gets lonely. Opportunity knocked but I didn't here her.

Please give me your advise on what I could do better.

 

[ray_zorse]

Absolutely top stuff my brother, YOU DID IT, a seated opener, that's not the easiest thing in the world!!

Now for some constructive criticism.

me: What do you do?
her: I am a computer programmer.
me: Who do you work for?
her: (A big telecommunications company)

Too shallow, go deeper. Like this:

me: What do you do?
her: I am a computer programmer.
me: What kind of code do you write?
her: Code that manages network switches
me: Really! Great, I'm in network switch engineering myself. You are using the XXX algorithm?
her: Noo well actually we are going to update to that but presently it's YYY.
(blah blah, chat about technical issues)

Chat about technical issues is not chat about personal issues, so in a sense you're not getting to know her as a PERSON, but it's still good because you're relating to her and she's like "hey, this guy GETS my work... he GETS what I do"... it's only a small step to "this guy GETS me".

Another example.

me: Who do you work for?
her: (A big telecommunications company)
me: Do you work downtown?
her No I work from home.

Again, too shallow, go deeper. Like this:

me: Who do you work for?
her: (A big telecommunications company)
me: Great, that's a big company, was that the first company you worked for?
her: Noo I got my start with XXX
me: Oh really, so do you prefer your current position?
her: Noo well sometimes I just feel like a very small wheel in a very big machine
me: Yeah I totally get that, currently I'm in a smaller engineering firm and although we have to multitask it's much more intimate
her: Yes I agree, although in my current work we do have to multitask a lot, for example blah blah blah

Similar thing occurs here:

me: Me also. I have two daughters.
her: Are they grown up?
me: Yes they live on there own. Do you have kids?
her: Yes, two. They are 10 and 13 years old.
me: Where do you live?
her: Central city. We moved there for the better school. Where do you live?

See, when you mentioned your daughters, she asked something ABOUT your daughters, she's going deeper. This is how you could've played it:

me: Me also. I have two daughters.
her: Are they grown up?
me: Yes they live on there own. Do you have kids?
her: Yes, two. They are 10 and 13 years old.
me: And they're currently in high school?
her: Yes
me: It's a difficult age, they're currently getting into makeup, fashion, boys... [this is a sexual frame, introduce sexual topics whenever possible]
her: Totally! And so emotional, some mornings it's like "I HATE YOU MUM!" and I'm like "yeah, whatever, get ready and I'll take you to school"
me: Yeah I totally get that!!! My daughters were exactly the same!! Luckily the hormones subside and they get more manageable, haha
her: Yeah I'm living for that day!! (chat about bringing up teenage daughters)

See I put a lot of exclamation marks, this represents you/her getting more animated and involved in the conversation. It means you're moving beyond smalltalk to connecting and relating. Anyway, there are plenty more examples where you went too shallow, I think you get the idea now. Mind you, I'm not criticizing because the main thing is you got out of your comfort zone and talked to her.

And yes, you missed a big window. Here's how you could've asked for the date.

me: Do you work downtown?
her No I work from home.
me: Do you like working from home? [this is great, you're going deeper, as I discussed above]
her: For two to three days a week. It gets lonely without social interaction.
me: I understand. It sounds like you need to take some breaks, get out a bit... are you free for lunch this week?
her: Sure, that would be nice. Are you in XXX area?
me: I'm working in the downtown but it's only 10min away, how about we meet halfway at YYY.
her: Okay.
me: Here, put your number in here. (you pass her your phone, get her number, call her, check she receives it etc).
me: So you mentioned you had two daughters (returning to an earlier conversational thread, so it's clear the number grab is no biggie)
(eject within 5 minutes or so to save some intrigue for the date)

Here you saw her wedding ring so you deliberately didn't come on too strong, if you expressed too much attraction she'd say something like "ohh well I'm not sure if my husband would approve of us meeting up during the day", but as it is, it's just a casual hangout with an interesting stranger to break the monotony of the working day... she may be hoping, but she isn't completely certain. Personally I never use the "are you single?" opener, and I never mention boyfriends or husbands unless she does. Once she's framed herself as sexually unavailable, she has to stick to that, or look like a slut. But if it's never discussed, it's never an issue IMO (other seducers may differ here). And, you totally need to be moving towards the number grab early, because she's waiting for someone and it won't be possible after they arrive. Remember ABC=Always Be Closing.

Ray

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Ray,

Thanks for the input. I get the digging deeper into her personally. It gets her more invested and makes you look interested in her as a person. I also see the working in of the sexual. I will work on this. The lunch idea is great. I wish I would have thought of it. I work about 15 minutes from her home. It would have been easy to meet. I think of date in grandiose terms. I need to think small. This would be much easier on me. I could see taking an extended lunch at her house.

Unfortunately I didn't get the number. I was not thinking to get it early enough. Your right I should have gotten it earlier. Once I got past the initial opening it was a very easy conversation. I felt very comfortable throughout.

I have seen Sasha Daygamers videos and he always qualifies the boyfriend question. This is because he disqualifies the girl if she is involved in a relationship. If I don't care I shouldn't ask.

Thanks again for the input.

BigDaddySC

 

[mb1]

Good work man, it's impressive to even have to confidence to approach a woman and see what she's up to, and especially in a casual seated way as Ray said. Same again, it could have been a lot deeper. China would have been a good starting point right off, asking if she was from (grew up) there, then get into the differences of raising children in the two countries while tying in why she chose that for work and does it from home, then basically connect over parenthood as a related experience.

Another thing missing is expressing interest. She may have thought you were friendly, whereas using a direct opener or saying the same words while giving her you-have-no-idea-how-hard-I'm-going-to-make-you-cum-later eyes could have upped her attraction and helped you progress through the ultimate goal of the conversation, which is to build comfort enough to move her forward logistically towards sex (i.e. to get the number if that's all that's possible in the interaction).

She sounded receptive to talking (likely due to your fundamentals) and if she actually told you she was lonely, that sounds to me like she was definitely interested (and she probably thought she was being way more obvious essentially saying "hey I'm available!"), even if she was displaying a totally non-sexual vibe expecting her kid to show up any moment. I once had a girl in a group setting talking about her work make an offhand remark unrelated to the conversational thread about how her coworkers reassure her that she'll find someone, then she flashed her eyes at me (otherwise was looking down and at no one else throughout the conversation). It's passive femininity laying open to masculine action.

Flight attendants are great (try Tinder near the airport) since they disqualify themselves as girlfriends.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

mb1

Thanks for the comments. Some good ideas. I like the Flight attendants idea but I am concerned about Tinder as I am married and they want a photo. I know what is seen on Tinder is supposed to stay there but... Unfortunately our Flight Attendants are not as young and attractive as they used to be. I used to travel a lot and talked to attractive women all the time. Unfortunately I didn't know how to close. I can now see a lot of missed opportunities when I think back. The biggest miss was a Flight Attendant who looked like Natalie Wood. Damn hot woman. I was standing in line for the bathroom. The jet hit a bump and she fell into me. She said I am sorry. I said any time. She gave me a big smile with sparkling eyes. It was on but I didn't have game and I found it hard to believe beautiful women would fine me attractive. I have so many stories pre GC that ended in disappointment. So many beautiful women. I am talking fashion model looks. Damn.

Regarding her being lonely this was definitely an invitation. I am still learning to accept that women want sex as much as men. My old fashion up bringing. I should have drilled down that avenue as soon as she brought it up. That was my opening to set up a date. I could have said. We could get together for lunch. That would give you a chance to have some adult conversation. Put your number in my phone and we can get together after your family leaves?

I am learning. Thanks again.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Absolutely top stuff my brother, YOU DID IT, a seated opener, that's not the easiest thing in the world!!

Ray I read through Chases article on the seated open which helped me understand how I was effective. When I approached my intention was to sit and wait for my daughter. So I wasn't planning on opening. I picked a seat about 4 down from her since there were a lot of open chairs. I was doing this to maintain my comfortable space. I sat there for a minutes and I thought why not start a conversation with this lady. So I had created a safe zone space and a safe zone time frame. I didn't do it on purpose. What I think this did was give her had time and space to determine I was not a threat. I when I started talking I didn't move closer. After a couple of minutes into the conversation we were both leaning towards each other effectively reducing the safe zone space. At this point I should have moved over a couple of seats. Rookie mistake. I think this approach will work if you expect her to be there for a while. When I think back I have done this several times in airports while waiting to board the jet. I was always able to move forward.

 

[ray_zorse]

Yes, I see, I must say I haven't read the article myself and I don't have too many problems with seated openers, it was more that I knew other people had issues with them, that's why I thought it was deserving of special congratulations. Personally I have a slightly different tack to seated openers than what you describe, it basically just relies on strong fundamentals: I sit down right next to her (almost in her space) and smile and say "It looks like you need somebody to talk to ... I'm Ray"... I guess once you collect some positive cold-approach reference experiences, it gets a lot easier, you no longer feel like you have to explain yourself, you just basically say hi and then get down to it.
Ray

 

[Smith]

Bigdaddysc,

well done! It's good at sharpen up your conversation skills every chance you get.

For seated girls in a cafe, waiting area, food court...etc., what you can do is to give a compliment first and see how she react then calibrate. Don't take a seat next to her straight away.

If she seems receptive, then grab a seat next to her. If she seems aloof, then gracefully exit the interaction "well have a nice day".

me: Are you waiting for someone.
her: Yes my sister and her daughter.
me: Where are they coming from?
her: LA. They are on a tourist tour and wanted to see me.
me: Are they from her?
her: no they are from China.
me: Are you going to take them around? There Is a lot to do around here?
her: They want to go shopping. Things are cheaper here than in China like Nike shoe.
me: So are you going to take them to (shopping area with two big outlet malls)?
her: Yes
me: I work in that area.
her: What do you do?
me: I am an engineer. (We go back and forth on what I do for a minute.)
me: What do you do?
her: I am a computer programmer.
me: Who do you work for?
her: (A big telecommunications company)
me: Do you work downtown?
her No I work from home.
me: Do you like working from home?
her: For two to three days a week. It gets lonely without social interaction.
me: I understand. Are you married?
her:Yes.
me: Me also. I have two daughters.
her: Are they grown up?
me: Yes they live on there own. Do you have kids?
her: Yes, two. They are 10 and 13 years old.
me: Where do you live?
her: Central city. We moved there for the better school. Where do you live?
me: South of the city.
her: You have a long drive to work? About an hour?
me: Yes 49 miles. I am Steve. What is your name?
her: (She said her Chinese name) you can call me D....
me: I put out my hand and we shake hands. I didn't hold long enough.

Just adding on top of Ray's advice. Here, you open up several threads...China, Computer programming, Daughters, working at home. These are good topics to talk about. So my advice for you is to do this exercise, which I learned from RSD. It's called "talking to the wall". You pick a topic and basically talk about that topic in a self-amused and free flowing state. Associate that topic with anything you can relate to.
E.g. China -> communist -> sexually suppressed-> UNIQLO sex video.
So in a conversation this would be like "You know...When I think of China, I think of..." Or "This reminds of..." Usually the first couple of things you think of won't be that great, but the 3rd or 4th things are usually funny. You can literally talk out loud in front of the girl if u like, so u don't get stuck in your head.

Me: "oh China reminds of communist, sexually suppressed people and that UNIQLO video...did u know what happened at UNIQLO in China?"
Her: "haha yes I've heard..or seen"
Me: "They really took public display of affection to the next level...it's kinda hot. You haven't done anything like that have you?!"
Her: "Ummm I wouldn't tell u even if I did haha"

Or Sister/daughter -> family field trip -> crazy stories about family field trip

Her: "Yes my sister and her daughter"
Me: "oh your sister and her daughter....sounds like a family field trip...a crazy one too "
Her: "haha yes they can go a little crazy with their shopping"
Me: "I'm guessing that runs in the family?"
Her: "hahaha maybe it does"
Me: "alright I'm XX...nice to meet you"
Her: "I'm XX nice to meet you too"
Me: "So what do you like to do besides being a shopaholic?" or "so what's the last crazy family field trip you went on?"
Her: "I like ...."

Do this exercise enough, it's very easy for you to strike a topic with strangers, but keep in mind that when you're in a conversation, you should still keep it personal like I showed you above. Don't go off on a tangent. Get her to qualify. Keep talking about non-personal stuff, you'll lose people super fast, especially people you just meet.

Recently, I'm trying out just getting straight to the point and get to know her quickly because during the day you don't often have a lot of time to build a connection. So after your initial introduction or banter, ask her "So what's your thing?" or "So what do you like to do?". She will give you a topic she wants to talk about, because not everyone wants to talk about what they study or what they do. I found that this style works better if you also mix with a little assumptions about her. It's more efficient than using assumptions alone to get her to talk about herself. The most important thing is to still have fun. IMO Fun takes priority over deep diving and connection building, but there is a balance.

Hope this helps!

 

[HellAtlantic]

This was great. I don't do daygame at all, am just friendly to girls but not in a convo sort of way. I always assume girls are more open to being approached at nite but one thing GC has taught me is girls are always open to being approached as long as you have the right vibe and fundamentals. My only critique is the convo seemed a little too "interviewy". I get that you ask them questions to get them talking about themselves but my take on that has always been "ask them questions, get them talking about themself in the hopes that they give you enough info for you to plan your attack or hook point". Like what I would've done if I was in your shoes (but at a bar for my nightgaming) would've emphasized the whole China thing and morphed into a convo about traveling: "I absolutely love to travel and getting to meet all types of interesting ppl and having the best time bumping into complete strangers and becoming friends with them. You ever do that? Travel somewhere and have a great convo with a stranger and it winds up being such a great time? Because of that I'm always open to meeting new ppl." Basically take one small piece of info she gave me and use that to start steering the convo to a place where I want it. You asked a lot of questions, good, but I didn't really see a point where you tried to start taking all the info she gave you and apply it towards a goal. But you approached during the day and had a convo which is something I don't do so applause for that.

 

[ray_zorse]

The way to stop it getting interview-like or 20-questions-like is to use cold reads. I've made a few posts about this here and this example conversation and here, and some general tips taken from my approach/initial conversation process here and here. Cold reading is a very powerful technique, Chase's article on it is here including a sexy anecdote, but Chase's focus in this article is more on cold reading what type of person she is (compassionate, likes XXX or YYY) whereas mine is more immediate like what she's been doing that day (from what she's carrying, how she's dressed) or stuff like where she is from (by accent, looks, name, food preferences, fashion, makeup style, etc). This kind of basic stuff is very useful in the initial minutes of the conversation. It is also good to be observant in general e.g. any brand names on stuff she's carrying (Superdry=a Japanese brand so she might be Japanese, it's not conclusive but taken in conjunction with other evidence it might be a hint), also if I see her using a mobile phone I try to get a glance at the screen, does it have Thai or Korean characters, is she texting or using Facebook or browsing fashion blogs or music videos... casually drop something like that in the convo a few min later after she's put her phone away and she'll think you are quite intuitive, hahaha.

Ray