- Joined
- Nov 14, 2016
- Messages
- 21
Hey guys what's up.
I've cold approached girls during the day but had middling results, so I've decided I need as much exposure with women in different environments to up my game in general.
Over the last week, since I approached the girl I mentioned, I texted her to come over to my place but apparently she was at a party and she couldn't make it that night, I just replied "bummer". Anyways, since then I've tried to talk to as many girls as possible, even if it is just small talk, asking their name. I approached another girl at school but I don't really think it went well, besides mid-approached I kind of realized she wasn't that attractive really but still, I digress.
I've been trying to hang out more with guys who're good with women, trying to absorb their vibe and general mindsets. One of these guys, Franky, told me I should go to a mutual friends party this weekend. Normally I make a ton of excuses, saying I have to study etc. but this year is the year I make things happen so I was excited and ready to kill it.
Turns out the party is hosted by some frat guys @ a nightclub kinda far from my place, so logistics w/ regard to my place were off. I text the mutual friend guy and he invites me to the pre-game and then we'll head to the club later.
Earlier in the evening before the party I make a shit of excuses to myself to not go - I need my passport as ID (cuz I'm international student), I need to study the next morning, I need to go the gym, the hangover would ruin my gym gains etc, but I see these excuses for what they are and refuse to succumb to them. So I put on my best white button-up shirt (the dress code was white), chic dark-washed jeans, style my hair to a messy top and shave a clean neck (I'm sporting heavy stubble/scruffy beard and the contrast between the beard and a clean neck is great) and I'm ready to go. I walk slowly and confidently to my friend's place, my fundamentals are on.
I arrive kinda early to the pre, but I'm good at conversing with the guys and my friend, check out his place and catch up with him, so far I'm feeling good and I'm feeling in the mood to kill it. In other words, I'm going in with full confidence - I've been pushing it to the limit at the gym, staying on top of my work academically and here I am conversing smoothly, calm and composed. I felt like tonight was the night I could actually pull a girl from a nightclub, though I had no real idea how to.
At the pre, it's mostly guys for the first 30 min or so, a few are playing beer pong, I just watch and I'm introducing myself to the folks, it's going good and I'm getting some momentum. A while later, one girl (let's call her Melanie) shows up but apparently one of the guys is her boyfriend. Now I know this shouldn't really change things if we share chemistry, but her body language was so closed and she was almost always circling her boyfriend, I didn't really see a way to talk to her without coming off only as a friend.
So I just wait, have a drink, I'm still enjoying myself and the night's still so young, I'm barely worried. Meanwhile I introduce myself to a few more guys, one of them is a weird aspie guy and keeps badgering me about how I didn't know him from last year @ residence. A couple more girls show up. I introduce myself to them, put my sexy smile on and I'm touching them and shit but our conversation if kinda neutral (idk I really couldn't find an opportunity to flirt with them?). Anyways one of the girls, Ananta, is warm and receptive towards me. Tells me she's had only one drink and she's drunk as hell, I merely tease her that she's " a lil' bitch" (terrible....), she laughs it off. But then she goes and sits with the aspie, they're good friends it seems. I'm still feeling good, I feel I can get this girl, maybe later @ the club, so I move away from her and I talk to the other girl but it's only friendly conversation.
We finally go to the club @ 'bout 10:45. I'm feeling great, and I'm super confident I can pull the girl (Ananta); I just need to flirt a bit more, isolate and then escalate. At the very least I can find other girls @ the club itself too. I'm barely experienced, and logistics are kinda sucky so I'm going for a blowie (first time, huh) but who knows, maybe I could go all the way too.
Anyways all of us dance at the club, I dance for a bit then move towards Ananta, I try to take her hand and dance with her - I've recently started doing salsa and bachata so I have a fair bit experience leading women with dance, although it's merely lessons and not in a club per se, but Ananta just lets go of my hand and goes to the aspie guy. My heart's contorting and what not but I remind myself, tonight's the night I push it to the limit and I'm not going to let one rejection phase me. So I keep dancing for a bit, I try searching around for women who's indicating interest but I see none. In the meantime I see this Irish chick dance with a black guy friend of mine (Samson). I try to see what Samson's doing that I can emulate, bc I need to make quick adjustments cos I'm losing the plot.
Meanwhile tons more girls are showing up, and a lot of them are people from school that I've seen before but don't really know. Thing is, it's a nightclub and music is loud as fuck so I can't really converse with them. My game plan was to just go in confidently and seem like an experienced man, introduce myself and tell them's I've seen them before at school. I did this with one girl I'd seen at res before, her name's Yasmin she says, I take her hands and start dance but she makes a polite refusal face, let's go and goes off with her friend. Another disappointment, but hey, night's still young.
There's another girl, cutie I'd seen last year in res but we didn't know each other (and back then I was a pussy so I never introduced myself), I see her, but moments later she's dancing with and making out with this black guy (not my friend). They go out, make out and come back in. Idk what's more fucked up, them doing what they just did, or me being so clueless as to be able to focus on them. Anyways I keep dancing around, but honestly it's just me kinda dancing around everyone else. I figure maybe I need more social proof. I've been terrible with girls, but I've never really had a problem being liked by and seen as cool, in a way, if not as the "alpha"/dominant guy (although I figure I am in some circles) by guys. But even when I tried to join the guys in my group they just ignored me, too drunk to really care and they were just dancing. I'd been rejected by even the guys in my group.
After a while I see Ananta leave with the aspie guy. What. The. Fuck. I look around and the black guy is still making out intensely with the cutie from last year. I desperately need to find a way to dance with, and hook, a girl. I see my friend Samson just taking girls hands, no introduction and dancing with them, with mixed success. I have no better alternative plan so I try it on this brunette, she refuses, I persist for a couple more times but then her momma-hen friend turns towards me and I know I'm not gonna get anywhere so I let go. I try again with an asian girl but she leaves and move away from me. I'm left dancing all alone. I don't think there's been anyone in the world with less preselction than I had at that moment.
But I'm not giving up. The club closes at 2, I still got about 90 min and anything can happen. Meanwhile, a few girls I know come up an say hi, I try to dance with them but then they move to other guys they know. One girl comes up enthusiatically to me and tells me she recognizes me from school, I'm kinda surprised and I don't really know her but then someone comes between us and then we're separated (fuck). I'm dancing around and then bump into this blondie who's in a rush, she tells me "it's ok, I know you're trying to be sexy" and then she's rushing to the exit (WHAT THE FUCK).
I have no fucking clue what's going on. Meanwhile, all of my friends are at very least dancing with some girl and making out with them. Hell, I even see some of the stupid fobs from my rez make out with some of the girls I knew. Holy fucking shit, I'm almost about to lose it now. Everything's going way too fast for me.
I'm almost at the brink of tears now. It's 1:15. I can't take it anymore. I've been rejected by every girl, pretty much every guy too in a social sense and pretty much every other guy was involved with a girl in some other way. I see the black guy and cutie from last year walk out of the club. At the same time, some the girls (Yasmin and crew) are leaving too. I'm in tears but I have a wild idea that maybe I can connect with them or other girls on the street. So I don't say anything to any of my guy 'friends' and leave. While I'm leaving I meet Melanie. She says it was great meeting me, and bid my goodbye. I'm hurting and I rush outside.
Outside, the girls are not going anywhere. The cutie from last year (dammit I still don't know her name) is still with the black guy, they're debating something with her friend. I have no idea if the guy went home with her or not. As I leave the club, a bunch of drunk guys corner me. I'm almost sobered up now, so I'm not too worried, I don't anything stupid and they leave me alone. But as I go, I hear them mock me "hey look at the pussy slink away".
That was it for me. All the disappointment of the night just came pouring out. I cried my heart out as I walked the long, cold walk back home.
There's just something about getting girls I don't possess and it's driving me crazy. WHAT IS IT? Is it fundamentals, is it conversation (but it was a fucking nightclub with loud ass music, what do you even say?), is it my looks, is it my race (I'm Indian and I hate playing the race card excuse, but I'm broken atm)? I've worked on my fundamentals boy almost about 7 months now AND STILL I FAIL TO GET STRONG ATTRACTION FROM GIRLS ANYWHERE, or maybe I just don't see it. It's like I'm just doomed to be unnoticed by girls. I know that's not true and that's a victim mentality but I'm just gutted atm and I don't know what to do next.
I know the only way it forward. I'm so pissed, even though it's 3 AM right now I'm going to wake up early get my work done and kill it at the gym. Fuck my hangover. One thing is for certain, I'll only come out of 2017 alive significantly better with women, or not at all. I'll do anything it takes, and I'm going to approach more women in the days to come. I've lived 19 years without being a man who sweeps women off their feets, hell who hasn't even slept with one, and I don't want to live a 20th the same way. I sure as hell won't be dying anytime soon, if I can control it lol, so looks like the only option is to get better with women.
I've cold approached girls during the day but had middling results, so I've decided I need as much exposure with women in different environments to up my game in general.
Over the last week, since I approached the girl I mentioned, I texted her to come over to my place but apparently she was at a party and she couldn't make it that night, I just replied "bummer". Anyways, since then I've tried to talk to as many girls as possible, even if it is just small talk, asking their name. I approached another girl at school but I don't really think it went well, besides mid-approached I kind of realized she wasn't that attractive really but still, I digress.
I've been trying to hang out more with guys who're good with women, trying to absorb their vibe and general mindsets. One of these guys, Franky, told me I should go to a mutual friends party this weekend. Normally I make a ton of excuses, saying I have to study etc. but this year is the year I make things happen so I was excited and ready to kill it.
Turns out the party is hosted by some frat guys @ a nightclub kinda far from my place, so logistics w/ regard to my place were off. I text the mutual friend guy and he invites me to the pre-game and then we'll head to the club later.
Earlier in the evening before the party I make a shit of excuses to myself to not go - I need my passport as ID (cuz I'm international student), I need to study the next morning, I need to go the gym, the hangover would ruin my gym gains etc, but I see these excuses for what they are and refuse to succumb to them. So I put on my best white button-up shirt (the dress code was white), chic dark-washed jeans, style my hair to a messy top and shave a clean neck (I'm sporting heavy stubble/scruffy beard and the contrast between the beard and a clean neck is great) and I'm ready to go. I walk slowly and confidently to my friend's place, my fundamentals are on.
I arrive kinda early to the pre, but I'm good at conversing with the guys and my friend, check out his place and catch up with him, so far I'm feeling good and I'm feeling in the mood to kill it. In other words, I'm going in with full confidence - I've been pushing it to the limit at the gym, staying on top of my work academically and here I am conversing smoothly, calm and composed. I felt like tonight was the night I could actually pull a girl from a nightclub, though I had no real idea how to.
At the pre, it's mostly guys for the first 30 min or so, a few are playing beer pong, I just watch and I'm introducing myself to the folks, it's going good and I'm getting some momentum. A while later, one girl (let's call her Melanie) shows up but apparently one of the guys is her boyfriend. Now I know this shouldn't really change things if we share chemistry, but her body language was so closed and she was almost always circling her boyfriend, I didn't really see a way to talk to her without coming off only as a friend.
So I just wait, have a drink, I'm still enjoying myself and the night's still so young, I'm barely worried. Meanwhile I introduce myself to a few more guys, one of them is a weird aspie guy and keeps badgering me about how I didn't know him from last year @ residence. A couple more girls show up. I introduce myself to them, put my sexy smile on and I'm touching them and shit but our conversation if kinda neutral (idk I really couldn't find an opportunity to flirt with them?). Anyways one of the girls, Ananta, is warm and receptive towards me. Tells me she's had only one drink and she's drunk as hell, I merely tease her that she's " a lil' bitch" (terrible....), she laughs it off. But then she goes and sits with the aspie, they're good friends it seems. I'm still feeling good, I feel I can get this girl, maybe later @ the club, so I move away from her and I talk to the other girl but it's only friendly conversation.
We finally go to the club @ 'bout 10:45. I'm feeling great, and I'm super confident I can pull the girl (Ananta); I just need to flirt a bit more, isolate and then escalate. At the very least I can find other girls @ the club itself too. I'm barely experienced, and logistics are kinda sucky so I'm going for a blowie (first time, huh) but who knows, maybe I could go all the way too.
Anyways all of us dance at the club, I dance for a bit then move towards Ananta, I try to take her hand and dance with her - I've recently started doing salsa and bachata so I have a fair bit experience leading women with dance, although it's merely lessons and not in a club per se, but Ananta just lets go of my hand and goes to the aspie guy. My heart's contorting and what not but I remind myself, tonight's the night I push it to the limit and I'm not going to let one rejection phase me. So I keep dancing for a bit, I try searching around for women who's indicating interest but I see none. In the meantime I see this Irish chick dance with a black guy friend of mine (Samson). I try to see what Samson's doing that I can emulate, bc I need to make quick adjustments cos I'm losing the plot.
Meanwhile tons more girls are showing up, and a lot of them are people from school that I've seen before but don't really know. Thing is, it's a nightclub and music is loud as fuck so I can't really converse with them. My game plan was to just go in confidently and seem like an experienced man, introduce myself and tell them's I've seen them before at school. I did this with one girl I'd seen at res before, her name's Yasmin she says, I take her hands and start dance but she makes a polite refusal face, let's go and goes off with her friend. Another disappointment, but hey, night's still young.
There's another girl, cutie I'd seen last year in res but we didn't know each other (and back then I was a pussy so I never introduced myself), I see her, but moments later she's dancing with and making out with this black guy (not my friend). They go out, make out and come back in. Idk what's more fucked up, them doing what they just did, or me being so clueless as to be able to focus on them. Anyways I keep dancing around, but honestly it's just me kinda dancing around everyone else. I figure maybe I need more social proof. I've been terrible with girls, but I've never really had a problem being liked by and seen as cool, in a way, if not as the "alpha"/dominant guy (although I figure I am in some circles) by guys. But even when I tried to join the guys in my group they just ignored me, too drunk to really care and they were just dancing. I'd been rejected by even the guys in my group.
After a while I see Ananta leave with the aspie guy. What. The. Fuck. I look around and the black guy is still making out intensely with the cutie from last year. I desperately need to find a way to dance with, and hook, a girl. I see my friend Samson just taking girls hands, no introduction and dancing with them, with mixed success. I have no better alternative plan so I try it on this brunette, she refuses, I persist for a couple more times but then her momma-hen friend turns towards me and I know I'm not gonna get anywhere so I let go. I try again with an asian girl but she leaves and move away from me. I'm left dancing all alone. I don't think there's been anyone in the world with less preselction than I had at that moment.
But I'm not giving up. The club closes at 2, I still got about 90 min and anything can happen. Meanwhile, a few girls I know come up an say hi, I try to dance with them but then they move to other guys they know. One girl comes up enthusiatically to me and tells me she recognizes me from school, I'm kinda surprised and I don't really know her but then someone comes between us and then we're separated (fuck). I'm dancing around and then bump into this blondie who's in a rush, she tells me "it's ok, I know you're trying to be sexy" and then she's rushing to the exit (WHAT THE FUCK).
I have no fucking clue what's going on. Meanwhile, all of my friends are at very least dancing with some girl and making out with them. Hell, I even see some of the stupid fobs from my rez make out with some of the girls I knew. Holy fucking shit, I'm almost about to lose it now. Everything's going way too fast for me.
I'm almost at the brink of tears now. It's 1:15. I can't take it anymore. I've been rejected by every girl, pretty much every guy too in a social sense and pretty much every other guy was involved with a girl in some other way. I see the black guy and cutie from last year walk out of the club. At the same time, some the girls (Yasmin and crew) are leaving too. I'm in tears but I have a wild idea that maybe I can connect with them or other girls on the street. So I don't say anything to any of my guy 'friends' and leave. While I'm leaving I meet Melanie. She says it was great meeting me, and bid my goodbye. I'm hurting and I rush outside.
Outside, the girls are not going anywhere. The cutie from last year (dammit I still don't know her name) is still with the black guy, they're debating something with her friend. I have no idea if the guy went home with her or not. As I leave the club, a bunch of drunk guys corner me. I'm almost sobered up now, so I'm not too worried, I don't anything stupid and they leave me alone. But as I go, I hear them mock me "hey look at the pussy slink away".
That was it for me. All the disappointment of the night just came pouring out. I cried my heart out as I walked the long, cold walk back home.
There's just something about getting girls I don't possess and it's driving me crazy. WHAT IS IT? Is it fundamentals, is it conversation (but it was a fucking nightclub with loud ass music, what do you even say?), is it my looks, is it my race (I'm Indian and I hate playing the race card excuse, but I'm broken atm)? I've worked on my fundamentals boy almost about 7 months now AND STILL I FAIL TO GET STRONG ATTRACTION FROM GIRLS ANYWHERE, or maybe I just don't see it. It's like I'm just doomed to be unnoticed by girls. I know that's not true and that's a victim mentality but I'm just gutted atm and I don't know what to do next.
I know the only way it forward. I'm so pissed, even though it's 3 AM right now I'm going to wake up early get my work done and kill it at the gym. Fuck my hangover. One thing is for certain, I'll only come out of 2017 alive significantly better with women, or not at all. I'll do anything it takes, and I'm going to approach more women in the days to come. I've lived 19 years without being a man who sweeps women off their feets, hell who hasn't even slept with one, and I don't want to live a 20th the same way. I sure as hell won't be dying anytime soon, if I can control it lol, so looks like the only option is to get better with women.
