Hi friends! This is my very first contribution to the GC forums - figured I'd share my story and have this FR documented.
I'm 20, living at home with my parents. After years of being sick and tired about being anxious when it comes to being sexual with women, and stricken by the fear of rejection, I decided to immerse myself into game. Fast forward 5 months, 20 or so dates with different women, finally overcoming my approach anxiety, learning how to deep dive, shifting from an entertainer to a sexy vibe, and on the way to ever-improving fundamentals, my latest sticking point has been fear of escalation.
I first met Maria on campus. I used an indirect-direct approach, and she was immediately very receptive and interested. I capitalised on this and closed the proximity between us, and I used incidental hand-arm touch abundantly. She was scanning my eyes intensely, which cued me to hold her hand. After 2 minutes of deep diving, and a very tense and exciting interaction, I mentioned that we ought to grab some coffee later in the week. Right off the bat, she started to chase me via text messages - she sent me a couple of text messages completely out of the blue, and was clearly pretty interested.
After a few text messages exchanges, we set up a date. We met at the train station and grabbed some juice and walked for about 10 minutes towards a garden. The energy was very different to when I first met her - the excitement was much less, and the only forms of physical touch was through incidental arm touching which I tried to use frequently at conversational high points. At this point whilst walking, my aim was to make her feel as comfortable and at ease as possible with my touch. I think I did a pretty good job with that - the vibe was light and fun, and I managed to focus the topics on her, rather than myself, so as to maintain a mysterious vibe. We both lived quite far away and we both had classes afterwards, so logistically, a lay seemed impossible - at least at my skill level.
After about 10 minutes of walking we seated ourselves in a fairly secluded garden. Right off the bat, I sat quite close next to her - almost too close, but not quite. In the past I've realised that I was too nervous to physically escalate because it felt extremely unnatural... I realise now it's because the distance between us was too much. Throughout the date, I was particularly focused on investment. The main mistake that I had made with my past few dates was that I escalated physically even when the girl was leaning away from me, and not giving me much attention. I figured that doing so would've appeared extremely chasey and perhaps even creepy, so I stopped completely. Before the date, I had planned to only reward Maria with touch if she somehow invested in me. Whenever she leaned in closer to me or give me strong attention, I'd turn my body towards her slightly more, and incidentally touch her thigh. I'd maintain greater eye contact, and I'd put on my slight smirk. Whenever she leaned away from me, and try to put me into a chasing paradigm, I'd cut off all touch with her immediately, and avert my eye contact a bit, as if to seem bored. I'd also lean away slightly.
This whole reward-punishment dance went on for the majority of the date, and with every subsequent form of investment she gave me, I'd escalate just a bit more. The ladder looked something like this (in which I would only utilise whenever she invested): incidental elbow touch -> gentle arm holding -> incidental thigh touching, where my fingers are touching her, but my hand is on my own thigh -> incidental touching of outstretched leg and feet - "footsies" -> my hand rested on her thigh, where I moved my pinky and gently rubbed her -> gentle thigh rubbing -> grab her hand at high conversational points, gently caressing and holding it -> grabbing her hand, resting it on my thigh, keeping my hand on top of hers -> move my legs on top of hers so as to position myself even closer to her. The whole time I escalated, I tried to appear slow and as calm as possible. The conversations would be focused on her, as I worked the deep-dive, and I added some humour for comfort-building. I talked sparingly about myself.
Eventually, I put her hand on my thigh, and gently placed my hand on top of hers, when I removed my hand from her hand, she just left it there for about 10 seconds. At that point our faces were very close together. I looked at her deep into her eyes and we had about 2 seconds of silence. After not making a move, she averted her eye contact and diffused the tension by continuing the conversation and leaning back far away. At that point, I knew that I had missed an escalation window - I knew I should've went for the kiss, but I shied away. I was kicking myself in the head. At that point when she leaned back far away, I stopped touching her completely and gave her less attention, seeming a bit bored. She stayed leaning away from me for about 3 minutes. At that point, I decided to lean far back myself, trying to get her to lean back into me... our faces were now probably 1.5 metres away from each other. About 10 seconds after I did that, she began to sit back up and lean into me, which I rewarded generously, I resumed my touch, and I decided to grab her hand and pull her closer into me, saying "come closer, I wanna hear you better" to which she replied, "hear me better..?" which I ignored and changed the subject about. I then proceeded to inspect her bracelet, caressing her hand and yet again, the tension began to build enormously and eventually our faces were very close to each other. Then, the conversation just... dropped... off. Silence for 2 seconds. She then averted eye contact and said "yeah..." trying to diffuse the tension. I kept staring at her, and her eyes came back to me about a second later, the tension was still very much there. At that point, something went off in my mind, and I just went for the kiss. After leaning in, my brain went into auto-pilot.
I started off very gently and slowly. Within 5 or seconds, she decided to use tongue and got really into it, guiding it through my mouth for the majority of the time. I was the first to pull back, to which see whispered under her breath "you're so... smooth", which I found flattering and prompted an internal "fuck yeah!" in my head. We then continued talking proceeded to run our hands over each other, and at this point she was willingly touching me as well. Our foreheads were touching the whole time. I then leaned back away from her, to continue the conversation, but this time, there was a bit more warmth. I let the conversation naturally die down a bit, and whispered, "come here" as I grabbed her hand and pulled her into me. She started to run her hand through my neck as I grabbed her hand and placed it on my leg. I began to rub her back and squeezed it passionately. At that point, we both had class so we walked the same way back to university, whilst holding hands. When we arrived on campus, she released my hand, probably she was a bit scared of judgement from her peers. We had an awkward goodbye hug, and she said "she you next time."
Ever since that date yesterday, she's been chasing me even harder through text than she was before our date.
So there we have it! Twenty-something dates and about 5 months of intense focused game later, I feel like I've achieved something incredible which wouldve seemed completely elusive just a couple of months ago. Thanks for reading my story, and let me hear any thoughts you might have!
- J
I'm 20, living at home with my parents. After years of being sick and tired about being anxious when it comes to being sexual with women, and stricken by the fear of rejection, I decided to immerse myself into game. Fast forward 5 months, 20 or so dates with different women, finally overcoming my approach anxiety, learning how to deep dive, shifting from an entertainer to a sexy vibe, and on the way to ever-improving fundamentals, my latest sticking point has been fear of escalation.
I first met Maria on campus. I used an indirect-direct approach, and she was immediately very receptive and interested. I capitalised on this and closed the proximity between us, and I used incidental hand-arm touch abundantly. She was scanning my eyes intensely, which cued me to hold her hand. After 2 minutes of deep diving, and a very tense and exciting interaction, I mentioned that we ought to grab some coffee later in the week. Right off the bat, she started to chase me via text messages - she sent me a couple of text messages completely out of the blue, and was clearly pretty interested.
After a few text messages exchanges, we set up a date. We met at the train station and grabbed some juice and walked for about 10 minutes towards a garden. The energy was very different to when I first met her - the excitement was much less, and the only forms of physical touch was through incidental arm touching which I tried to use frequently at conversational high points. At this point whilst walking, my aim was to make her feel as comfortable and at ease as possible with my touch. I think I did a pretty good job with that - the vibe was light and fun, and I managed to focus the topics on her, rather than myself, so as to maintain a mysterious vibe. We both lived quite far away and we both had classes afterwards, so logistically, a lay seemed impossible - at least at my skill level.
After about 10 minutes of walking we seated ourselves in a fairly secluded garden. Right off the bat, I sat quite close next to her - almost too close, but not quite. In the past I've realised that I was too nervous to physically escalate because it felt extremely unnatural... I realise now it's because the distance between us was too much. Throughout the date, I was particularly focused on investment. The main mistake that I had made with my past few dates was that I escalated physically even when the girl was leaning away from me, and not giving me much attention. I figured that doing so would've appeared extremely chasey and perhaps even creepy, so I stopped completely. Before the date, I had planned to only reward Maria with touch if she somehow invested in me. Whenever she leaned in closer to me or give me strong attention, I'd turn my body towards her slightly more, and incidentally touch her thigh. I'd maintain greater eye contact, and I'd put on my slight smirk. Whenever she leaned away from me, and try to put me into a chasing paradigm, I'd cut off all touch with her immediately, and avert my eye contact a bit, as if to seem bored. I'd also lean away slightly.
This whole reward-punishment dance went on for the majority of the date, and with every subsequent form of investment she gave me, I'd escalate just a bit more. The ladder looked something like this (in which I would only utilise whenever she invested): incidental elbow touch -> gentle arm holding -> incidental thigh touching, where my fingers are touching her, but my hand is on my own thigh -> incidental touching of outstretched leg and feet - "footsies" -> my hand rested on her thigh, where I moved my pinky and gently rubbed her -> gentle thigh rubbing -> grab her hand at high conversational points, gently caressing and holding it -> grabbing her hand, resting it on my thigh, keeping my hand on top of hers -> move my legs on top of hers so as to position myself even closer to her. The whole time I escalated, I tried to appear slow and as calm as possible. The conversations would be focused on her, as I worked the deep-dive, and I added some humour for comfort-building. I talked sparingly about myself.
Eventually, I put her hand on my thigh, and gently placed my hand on top of hers, when I removed my hand from her hand, she just left it there for about 10 seconds. At that point our faces were very close together. I looked at her deep into her eyes and we had about 2 seconds of silence. After not making a move, she averted her eye contact and diffused the tension by continuing the conversation and leaning back far away. At that point, I knew that I had missed an escalation window - I knew I should've went for the kiss, but I shied away. I was kicking myself in the head. At that point when she leaned back far away, I stopped touching her completely and gave her less attention, seeming a bit bored. She stayed leaning away from me for about 3 minutes. At that point, I decided to lean far back myself, trying to get her to lean back into me... our faces were now probably 1.5 metres away from each other. About 10 seconds after I did that, she began to sit back up and lean into me, which I rewarded generously, I resumed my touch, and I decided to grab her hand and pull her closer into me, saying "come closer, I wanna hear you better" to which she replied, "hear me better..?" which I ignored and changed the subject about. I then proceeded to inspect her bracelet, caressing her hand and yet again, the tension began to build enormously and eventually our faces were very close to each other. Then, the conversation just... dropped... off. Silence for 2 seconds. She then averted eye contact and said "yeah..." trying to diffuse the tension. I kept staring at her, and her eyes came back to me about a second later, the tension was still very much there. At that point, something went off in my mind, and I just went for the kiss. After leaning in, my brain went into auto-pilot.
I started off very gently and slowly. Within 5 or seconds, she decided to use tongue and got really into it, guiding it through my mouth for the majority of the time. I was the first to pull back, to which see whispered under her breath "you're so... smooth", which I found flattering and prompted an internal "fuck yeah!" in my head. We then continued talking proceeded to run our hands over each other, and at this point she was willingly touching me as well. Our foreheads were touching the whole time. I then leaned back away from her, to continue the conversation, but this time, there was a bit more warmth. I let the conversation naturally die down a bit, and whispered, "come here" as I grabbed her hand and pulled her into me. She started to run her hand through my neck as I grabbed her hand and placed it on my leg. I began to rub her back and squeezed it passionately. At that point, we both had class so we walked the same way back to university, whilst holding hands. When we arrived on campus, she released my hand, probably she was a bit scared of judgement from her peers. We had an awkward goodbye hug, and she said "she you next time."
Ever since that date yesterday, she's been chasing me even harder through text than she was before our date.
So there we have it! Twenty-something dates and about 5 months of intense focused game later, I feel like I've achieved something incredible which wouldve seemed completely elusive just a couple of months ago. Thanks for reading my story, and let me hear any thoughts you might have!
- J
