I hope some of you guys could give me some perspective on this. Because I've never been so in love before and it's wonderful but also annoying to lose "control" over own emotions.
I am 30 years old. Have had a 8-year relationship throughout my 20s and had dated several women the last three years.
I've always been the one to end the relationships (4 until now) because of feelings that I couldn't settle quite yet. We can say I've been the one up but I am also realizing that it has been due to my lack of emotions for these girls.
Until now...
So, as I've been describing in my journal I've fallen in love. https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=13469&start=50 For real and pretty hard. For the first time ever.
I know it's not her but the feelings she provides that got me hooked. We've been seeing each other for 4 weeks before she had to travel to India (2months). So as you can see, there's a lot of uncertainty revolving our relationship. We haven't made it official yet and we aren't exclusive (although she is saying she doesn't want to get physically or emotionally involved with anybody while seeing me, she doesn't drink or party either).
The thing is that since I am very cautious about chase dynamics I tend to look for the exits if I see a hint that I am the one down. I am so petrified of being "hurt" I almost go into auto-rejection when she doesn't reply right away or is busy with other projects. Which happens a lot now that she is attending to dance courses, coaching sessions and yoga retreats (as well as traveling around Goa and exploring everything without having as much opportunity to be online). I get very insecure and start thinking the worst. Heck, I am sometimes also looking around to see if I can find a replacement already (just because she hasn't replied to my messages with the same "enthusiasm" the last three days).
Just for the record: I can easily cold approach, and without much difficulty get dates. So it's not a matter of lacking abundance. It's absolute abundance that I lack and if I don't calm down I can start chasing and really making her fall out of love.
So being in a long distance relationship with someone who is busy traveling and improving herself is hard for me, is there a way to ease my mind in this regard?
A part of me wants a piece of her. All the time. I have been meeting a couple of girls and approaching a lot. But they all seem so boring compared to her. They just make me miss her more so meeting new girls is not necessarily the answer here.
I would really appreciate if someone could share their experiences around being "out of control" and if there are some mindsets, practices or books/articles to read in order to keep my cool. It's easy for me to make the worst out of minor things (especially when I have strong feelings). I would love some perspectives around this.
- Kristian
I am 30 years old. Have had a 8-year relationship throughout my 20s and had dated several women the last three years.
I've always been the one to end the relationships (4 until now) because of feelings that I couldn't settle quite yet. We can say I've been the one up but I am also realizing that it has been due to my lack of emotions for these girls.
Until now...
So, as I've been describing in my journal I've fallen in love. https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=13469&start=50 For real and pretty hard. For the first time ever.
I know it's not her but the feelings she provides that got me hooked. We've been seeing each other for 4 weeks before she had to travel to India (2months). So as you can see, there's a lot of uncertainty revolving our relationship. We haven't made it official yet and we aren't exclusive (although she is saying she doesn't want to get physically or emotionally involved with anybody while seeing me, she doesn't drink or party either).
The thing is that since I am very cautious about chase dynamics I tend to look for the exits if I see a hint that I am the one down. I am so petrified of being "hurt" I almost go into auto-rejection when she doesn't reply right away or is busy with other projects. Which happens a lot now that she is attending to dance courses, coaching sessions and yoga retreats (as well as traveling around Goa and exploring everything without having as much opportunity to be online). I get very insecure and start thinking the worst. Heck, I am sometimes also looking around to see if I can find a replacement already (just because she hasn't replied to my messages with the same "enthusiasm" the last three days).
Just for the record: I can easily cold approach, and without much difficulty get dates. So it's not a matter of lacking abundance. It's absolute abundance that I lack and if I don't calm down I can start chasing and really making her fall out of love.
So being in a long distance relationship with someone who is busy traveling and improving herself is hard for me, is there a way to ease my mind in this regard?
A part of me wants a piece of her. All the time. I have been meeting a couple of girls and approaching a lot. But they all seem so boring compared to her. They just make me miss her more so meeting new girls is not necessarily the answer here.
I would really appreciate if someone could share their experiences around being "out of control" and if there are some mindsets, practices or books/articles to read in order to keep my cool. It's easy for me to make the worst out of minor things (especially when I have strong feelings). I would love some perspectives around this.
- Kristian
