A
Anonymous
Guest
Hi Everyone,
This is my first post to the Girls Chase boards, so I guess that I should have a quick introduction. I gave a little back story in the first comment here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-g ... king-girls
But in case you don't want to read that, here is the TL;DR version: I had a girl I was really into and fucked it up super bad, and I never want to feel that helpless again.
So this is my first time going out specifically to pick up chicks, so you will probably get a lot of the FU tag for me in the near future (hopefully with decreasing frequency as I get better!)
I have always been extremely socially awkward. In high school I was that nerd that taught himself calculus but couldn't talk to a girl to save my life. I am now a lot better than that, but still not great, so I get really nervous in some social situations. Earlier in the week I had planned to go to this dance club (I had been there a couple of times for salsa dancing, but this was my first time for their swing dancing night). And as the day grew closer, I grew more nervous. Finally it was time to go, and I went; an small accomplishment, as the old me would have offered some bullshit excuse to not go and believed it. Don't get me wrong, I came up with lots of reasons to not go, but I decided that the life I wanted was more important the the wave of emotions I was feeling in the moment.
I also learned to accept that probably a lot of the outing that I am going to have for a while will be very awkward and I will fail extremely hard.
So I get there, and as I was waiting for the dancing to start, a couple for guys that I know from school came in, apparently they are regulars. So then the dancing lesson starts, where the girls alternate among the guys and we all learn the steps. I learned this is a good way to gauge if there is any initial attraction. I got a little, but not as much as I had gotten at other times when I was there with friends.
Also, most of the people there seemed to already know each other and the number people, as well as the girl/guy ratio wasn't great.
I will spare you the details, but my general strategy was to ask the girls to dance and I would try to talk to them as we danced. The only problem is that I ended up talking about general "nice guy topics" such as school/work/etc. A tried a couple of times to change this into a discussion about passion and why they were doing what they were, but was never able to do it successfully. I didn't ask questions/give answers that I expected to (i.e. "Are you single?" and blondes/brunettes to "what do you do"). As the night went on it went worse. A couple of times, girls would actively do something to occupy themselves when I would approach to dance(start talking to their friend and ignore me/ go to the restroom/etc.). Other times, not being a great conversationalist (yet!), the conversation just kinda fizzled out, and we ended up sitting there in awkward silence.
But the next part was where I fucked up the most.
At a certain time they switched from swing to salsa, at this time most of the swing dancers leave as the salsa people come in. There did not seem to yet be many beautiful women, and I was emotionally drained from the first part of the night, that I decided to go home. As I was driving home, I kicked myself for leaving, I should have stayed and seen what the night would bring; at the very least, I would have gotten more reference points. So next time I WILL stay through the whole thing, to accelerate my learning or something more.
So tonight I consider a partial success. Regardless of the women (I was prepared for the worst-case-scenario anyway i.e miserably failing with every single one), the success is that I got out at all, while the failure is that I didn't stay as long as I wished.
You guys will be seeing a lot more of me on the boards,as I am sick of not having the success I want with women, and will be putting me nose to the grindstone to get better.
If you have any insights/tips/whatever, don't hesitate to post; I need all the help I can get.
This is my first post to the Girls Chase boards, so I guess that I should have a quick introduction. I gave a little back story in the first comment here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-g ... king-girls
But in case you don't want to read that, here is the TL;DR version: I had a girl I was really into and fucked it up super bad, and I never want to feel that helpless again.
So this is my first time going out specifically to pick up chicks, so you will probably get a lot of the FU tag for me in the near future (hopefully with decreasing frequency as I get better!)
I have always been extremely socially awkward. In high school I was that nerd that taught himself calculus but couldn't talk to a girl to save my life. I am now a lot better than that, but still not great, so I get really nervous in some social situations. Earlier in the week I had planned to go to this dance club (I had been there a couple of times for salsa dancing, but this was my first time for their swing dancing night). And as the day grew closer, I grew more nervous. Finally it was time to go, and I went; an small accomplishment, as the old me would have offered some bullshit excuse to not go and believed it. Don't get me wrong, I came up with lots of reasons to not go, but I decided that the life I wanted was more important the the wave of emotions I was feeling in the moment.
I also learned to accept that probably a lot of the outing that I am going to have for a while will be very awkward and I will fail extremely hard.
So I get there, and as I was waiting for the dancing to start, a couple for guys that I know from school came in, apparently they are regulars. So then the dancing lesson starts, where the girls alternate among the guys and we all learn the steps. I learned this is a good way to gauge if there is any initial attraction. I got a little, but not as much as I had gotten at other times when I was there with friends.
Also, most of the people there seemed to already know each other and the number people, as well as the girl/guy ratio wasn't great.
I will spare you the details, but my general strategy was to ask the girls to dance and I would try to talk to them as we danced. The only problem is that I ended up talking about general "nice guy topics" such as school/work/etc. A tried a couple of times to change this into a discussion about passion and why they were doing what they were, but was never able to do it successfully. I didn't ask questions/give answers that I expected to (i.e. "Are you single?" and blondes/brunettes to "what do you do"). As the night went on it went worse. A couple of times, girls would actively do something to occupy themselves when I would approach to dance(start talking to their friend and ignore me/ go to the restroom/etc.). Other times, not being a great conversationalist (yet!), the conversation just kinda fizzled out, and we ended up sitting there in awkward silence.
But the next part was where I fucked up the most.
At a certain time they switched from swing to salsa, at this time most of the swing dancers leave as the salsa people come in. There did not seem to yet be many beautiful women, and I was emotionally drained from the first part of the night, that I decided to go home. As I was driving home, I kicked myself for leaving, I should have stayed and seen what the night would bring; at the very least, I would have gotten more reference points. So next time I WILL stay through the whole thing, to accelerate my learning or something more.
So tonight I consider a partial success. Regardless of the women (I was prepared for the worst-case-scenario anyway i.e miserably failing with every single one), the success is that I got out at all, while the failure is that I didn't stay as long as I wished.
You guys will be seeing a lot more of me on the boards,as I am sick of not having the success I want with women, and will be putting me nose to the grindstone to get better.
If you have any insights/tips/whatever, don't hesitate to post; I need all the help I can get.
