Calls & Texts Flakey number: a social experiment

[Sam]

Hello everyone.

This week I came under the spell of scarcity mentality, as I only had one number at my disposal from last week.
After 3 unsuccessful attempts within 14 days (1 text according to the instructions of this blog and 2 calls) to communicate with the girl I decided to do something I did not do before and see her reaction: call her out on being flakey via text. I have read almost everything from Chase's blog and I was fully aware of the ineffectiveness of calling her out. Below is the text dialogue:

Me: "I hope you will be less rude with the next guy."
Her (within 2 seconds): "If you explain to me where exactly you detect the rudeness, I will try to improve."
Me: "Don't give your number, if you don't want people to use it. Anyway, happy new year."
Her: "Happy new year."

(For your information: a) I asked her number only after I asked a date (to which she agreed supposedly for this week). b) she was much less beautiful compared to other women I have been with)

Pay attention to her reaction. She doesn't even see where my "problem" would be. To her it is ok not to reply to any of my efforts. Her "inability" to even remotely relate to a man's thinking just made me think how different men and women are. Men think in linear ways. Women in chaotic ones. Another thing I consider interesting is the speed of her reaction to a text of criticism. While she didn't bother picking up the phone for a 1-hour drink (i.e. a positive proposal), she felt the urgency to reply to my complain (i.e. a negative statement) actually wanting me to give her more feedback. She cared when I became negative towards her.

I didn't have anything to lose, nor gain, but maybe the next guy will benefit from a more direct and clear attitude on her part.

Thoughts and comments are welcome.

 

[Just_Dave]

Hey Sam,

I want to take a look at her mindset:

Hers:
*You're not going anywhere and I clearly have you so why should I be in a rush to get back to you.
*I have emotional control over you if I upset you
*This is funny, let's see where this is going

I feel you would've held at least some power in this situation if:

1. never replied to her comment about how she's being rude
2. didn't add the "happy new year"
*It felt counter productive, it's like your were severing ties but you still left on a happy note.

Another time,

Just Dave

 

[Sam]

"You're not going anywhere and I clearly have you so why should I be in a rush to get back to you."

Thanks Dave.

What in your opinion was so "clear" about her "having me"?
I didn't press or anything, our interaction was pleasant and I only contacted her 3 times in 14 days in my effort to convey persistence. Nothing fancy..

 

[PinotNoir]

Next time, I wouldn't do this. I know it feels good calling someone out and getting the last word, but this is not the image you want to portray:

• It makes you look a little needy for attention.
• It makes you look rude, even though she's the one being rude.
• It makes her look more powerful and desirable, while you look weaker and less wanted.

I am merely trying to give constructive criticism, so please don't take what I'm saying too personally. Most guys have done what you just did.

Something that has been helping me lately are the constant words from Franco on the boards here: "Would James Bond do this?"

He wouldn't. He's a busy man with lots of options. He'd either delete the number, send one last interesting text, or just ignore it.


Here are some alternatives:

(1) "greetings GirlX, just doing some New Year cleaning of phone #s -- surely you can relate. if you're free for coffee, hit me up, else I'll see you in the next life when we're both cats -BoyX"

I don't like this one too much because it feels like an ultimatum, but if you word it fine, it's probably okay. A message similar to this was actually suggested in a blog post to clear out old numbers.

(2) "if silence is a virtue... you must be Queen Virtue " or
"hello Ghost, we meet again. please stop moving my furniture around at night... ><"

Sounds a little needy, but at least she knows you're having fun with it and not really upset that she's not talking.

(3) (Just say something interesting that you're doing that night or just say something interesting in general. If it's with friends, make sure to not invite her for that night, but another night one-on-one.)

I feel like this is closer to James Bond. He'd just be like, "vodka martinis are the spice of life... it's a shame the passion burns your lips for so short. -BoyX".

It can sound a little gamey or cheesy, but the idea is to just say something interesting to see if she'll respond.

(4) (Something indirect.)

This is kind of like #3 but a little weaker and has the same problems. But for numbers you don't care about, it can be a fun experiment.

You: "hey Mike, I can't hear over this music. where you at?"
Girl: "I think you have the wrong number..."
...

This is an absolute horrid idea, but you'll get texts back from it haha. Again, only do this if the girl hasn't responded in a while, and you actually don't give a rat's ass.
You: "Jenny! thanks for such a pleasant evening you owe me a tied cherry... -BoyX"
Girl: "This isn't Jenny..."


Conclusion
For all of these, after you send them and if don't get a response back, don't send another text. These are just one-last-tries. And if you're still thinking about it after a week or so, delete the number.