Hey everyone, long time lurker but never posted.
I've been into the whole pua - seduction rabbit hole for a little more than 4 years now. Growing up with society telling that men talking to women they find interesting are creeps and we should instead be friends with them never made sense to me. It has been so revealing learning how to approach in a respectful and calibrated manner, like a sense that I didn't know I had.
My results have been much less than ideal in these years. I've had one long term girlfriend (stopped approaching at that time), an insta-date + next day date + home pull and lay, and one more date. The common denominator of almost all my approaches is that they flake and ghost. Like almost all of them. Moreover, another common denominator of the above girls I've had success with is that they either don't have social media or they have a very low follower count.
My frame is much better than when I first started, but I still can't get dates. I rarely get blowouts. Girls stop (Torero front stop, side stop or whatever it is), engage, hook, banter. If I see she's not rushing I try to push for an instadate, otherwise I try to make plans on the spot (e.g. "I have a friend playing music on Thursday at place X, you should join" or "I know this great place for a morning Sunday coffee, not even need to put makeup on"). I get the number, Instagram or whatever and still chat for a bit. What ends up happening after the close is:
- Never replies to my opening next. Almost always stuck on sent. I vacuum the convo for 2 days and send something like "kidnapped?". Still no reply.
- Replies, enages, and ghosts at the date feeler text.
- Replies with short answers, ghosts at the date feeler text.
- Replies, accepts plans and ghosts. I end up self-cancelling the date to protect my SMV. Stuck on sent and no reply.
- Replies, buildup, suggests date and ghosts.
To myself daygame is a bit of a paradox because 1) my friends would never approach and instead swipe on tinder and DM random girls, hence approaching in a calibrated, relaxed manner is a big DHV step 2) no high value man would waste time chasing skirt on the street. Would Di Caprio be roaming around shopping malls? I have a friend who has massive respect for me approaching and has never done it, yet he is a DJ and get's hot chicks every other day at the club he plays music.
I must be doing something really wrong here to have that kind of results. Of course flaking is expected but the degree I'm getting it is not normal to me. I dress business casual, drive a nice car (which I don't care to use to get girls because these are not the girls I'm after), have a good STEM job, my own webpage, in my late 20's. My brother says its due to the culture of the country I'm in and has gotten way better results abroad. I've seen videos of known PUAs doing field reports in my country saying do not try it, it is not worth the effort. My then girlfriend told me her friends said they would never go out with a stranger. If so, why almost all people I know meet through Tinder and Instagram? I have dignity and swiping and DMing random people seems so wrong and creepy to me.
I have incorporated daygame into my everyday life but at the moment it is not possible since I work remotely, so after a long day I just go for a walk in the center and if an approach happens organically, either on the street or a mall, I let it happen. If I see my ideal type I go ahead, no approach anxiety or anything.
I've also never had a wingman in all this. I've read a lot of books in the topic, from Zan Perrion to Torero and Krauser, and thousands of posts here. But don't want to get myself into the "too much theory" rabbit hole.
I've been into the whole pua - seduction rabbit hole for a little more than 4 years now. Growing up with society telling that men talking to women they find interesting are creeps and we should instead be friends with them never made sense to me. It has been so revealing learning how to approach in a respectful and calibrated manner, like a sense that I didn't know I had.
My results have been much less than ideal in these years. I've had one long term girlfriend (stopped approaching at that time), an insta-date + next day date + home pull and lay, and one more date. The common denominator of almost all my approaches is that they flake and ghost. Like almost all of them. Moreover, another common denominator of the above girls I've had success with is that they either don't have social media or they have a very low follower count.
My frame is much better than when I first started, but I still can't get dates. I rarely get blowouts. Girls stop (Torero front stop, side stop or whatever it is), engage, hook, banter. If I see she's not rushing I try to push for an instadate, otherwise I try to make plans on the spot (e.g. "I have a friend playing music on Thursday at place X, you should join" or "I know this great place for a morning Sunday coffee, not even need to put makeup on"). I get the number, Instagram or whatever and still chat for a bit. What ends up happening after the close is:
- Never replies to my opening next. Almost always stuck on sent. I vacuum the convo for 2 days and send something like "kidnapped?". Still no reply.
- Replies, enages, and ghosts at the date feeler text.
- Replies with short answers, ghosts at the date feeler text.
- Replies, accepts plans and ghosts. I end up self-cancelling the date to protect my SMV. Stuck on sent and no reply.
- Replies, buildup, suggests date and ghosts.
To myself daygame is a bit of a paradox because 1) my friends would never approach and instead swipe on tinder and DM random girls, hence approaching in a calibrated, relaxed manner is a big DHV step 2) no high value man would waste time chasing skirt on the street. Would Di Caprio be roaming around shopping malls? I have a friend who has massive respect for me approaching and has never done it, yet he is a DJ and get's hot chicks every other day at the club he plays music.
I must be doing something really wrong here to have that kind of results. Of course flaking is expected but the degree I'm getting it is not normal to me. I dress business casual, drive a nice car (which I don't care to use to get girls because these are not the girls I'm after), have a good STEM job, my own webpage, in my late 20's. My brother says its due to the culture of the country I'm in and has gotten way better results abroad. I've seen videos of known PUAs doing field reports in my country saying do not try it, it is not worth the effort. My then girlfriend told me her friends said they would never go out with a stranger. If so, why almost all people I know meet through Tinder and Instagram? I have dignity and swiping and DMing random people seems so wrong and creepy to me.
I have incorporated daygame into my everyday life but at the moment it is not possible since I work remotely, so after a long day I just go for a walk in the center and if an approach happens organically, either on the street or a mall, I let it happen. If I see my ideal type I go ahead, no approach anxiety or anything.
I've also never had a wingman in all this. I've read a lot of books in the topic, from Zan Perrion to Torero and Krauser, and thousands of posts here. But don't want to get myself into the "too much theory" rabbit hole.
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