Flamingo reports ( and so the journey begins..)

[Flamingo]

Hey everyone.

Firstly, Chase -I have to thank you for my sanity and giving me a shot to become what I desire.



For the purposes of privacy I'm not going to say much about myself of facts of my life -as it turns out Internet is less anonymous than it might seem to be.

I'm writing primarily for myself since I know that recalling and reporting events will help me to learn quicker and connect dots faster. A bit of extra motivation from the published commitment is also nice. You, however, probably will be physically cringing from my writing style.

So..I'm in my twenties but I feel like I am just starting to LIVE. Naturally being a pretty introverted person highly prone to emotional swings, search of big ideas to dedicate myself to and an extensive imagination, I wasn't surrounded by the right people. It's hard to find cheerful people that are truly in love with life and have fun where I am from. That have produced a pretty messed up mindset and resulted in an extensive depression, obsessions, anxieties and wrong values. It's dark times and I am still around only by miracle .
Then I moved countries and snapped out of it. Lucky me. After 3 years of switching countries and completely re-wiring myself, I moved from being "THAT guy" to "just weird" and 2 gigantic on their magnitude events have happened : I have discovered surfing and Girls Chase. "A chance to breath again a chance for a fresh start" as Ben Howard sings.

Now I am student of social arts, thanks to this online community . What used to be a 'fear' , now is an 'opportunity'. 'Magic' turned out to be a 'skill'. No more jealousy , no more anger.

I'm still fighting anxieties , doubts and awkwardness. And frankly I'm far from I want to become - a light hearted, fun , charismatic person who's never 'down' , doubtless , decisive and achieving. And of course this kind person is succeeding with the opposite gender. I had 5 partners in my life so far and I had only 2 girls over 2 years of the university that used to be countries #1 shagging uni with the average of 15 partners per person - I am not cool with that.

This website have given me tools to start enjoying my life to the fullest and I'm stoked to see things to come.
I've messed up 2 decades of my life and they are not comming back .Time to start having fun.

That was a brief story of another whining middle-class emotional kid who can't hold his sh!t together, thank you for your attention.

However if you , dear reader, find yourself reading one of the reports, I would really appreciate some criticism . And if you actually find yourself going as far as posting a reply , don't waste your time and go HARD. Or go surf.

P.S Along the lines I'll be making notes to myself.



Report 1| I live in a small student town where averyone knows everyone , so you have to be kinda careful when you're trying to be more of a bad boy or more persistent. It's time when I've managed to push myself to go out and approach 8+ women ( after a year of reading GC pretty much on a daily basis..really dude??) Kicked it off by chatting with a mate in the pub - tried to deep dive him but didn't get much, he's very pridefull and independent. Probably need to challenge and tease him for a bit and work on my nonverbals.

Approached a cute French girl and started to deep diving her asking about future plans, past sport involvement and family. She is from my social sircle and I know her for about 6 months but didn't make a move.Ouch. It's going to be fun to try make things happened, she still responds pretty warm sometimes.

Approached another girl for the sake of social momentum and found a pretty strong initial attraction even from the light banter. Would have tried to pull , but she is connected to good friends of mine so I've decide to build a bit more rapport , which was a mistake - half way through our friend arrived and she excused herself to greet her and do shots, turning into the 'party' mode.

Made it to the club. Always feel really sleepy and drained when it comes to going to the clubs , but I've suspected long time that it was an ego protection since girls weren't 'looking down on me' and brushing me off on the street. I didn't get a single decline to 'get a number' request so far, which is interesting. All my dates went nowhere so far though, so it's to early to be jealous fellas.
So in the club I just started opening everyone on my way with the light banter, witty remarks and compliments - wanna say 'shotgun' opening , but I feel that it's a bit different. Found myself running out of topics on early stages, so probably I should be a more direct with my intentions. And take control of my non- verbals - when I approach people in the club the posture and facial expressions go off the rails, I'm slipping into the safe/friendly vibe (like you are so happy that they are talking to you as if it was a miracle..when they really don't matter, most of them won't remember it anyway ).
Like really what the hell ?! In this place for the most of them telling that they are pretty , taking the lead , moving to buy a drink, a handicapped sense of humor and they are ready to go ! Pretty much absence of competition and all naturals in town are your mates. Well anyway..

Overall : WIN.

You stuck to your schedule and did your approaches. Time to reinforce positive behaviour with the coffee shop escapism.
I'll try to get you some funner stuff to read over next few days gents , while there's no swell .

Burn bright and till the next time.

 

[Flamingo]

Story 2| The Travelling Blonde

So, I've decided that I will post only about only specific interactions where things were moving forward and I've messed them up so that you can tell me what would you do.

So, I've approached this hot blonde British gal couple of days ago and we had a date now. We've met during the day to grab a coffee. I found a lot of initial attraction. Started deep diving her , relating to her experiences, tease a bit, made clumsy attempts to set chase frames, safe tease a bit and not particularly witty flirting and generally playing it safe. Made some transitions into the sex talk , set discretion and honesty/openmindedness frames. As I set across the table it was hard to touch her, but I've managed to put my hand on her forearm and on her leg (she was sitting with crossed legs ) couple of times.Think I did OK-ish job trying to come across as a sexy man (stories, non-verbals). We were actually having a pretty interesting and deep conversation about our travelling experiences/sports/family/people. I've managed to bring conversation to the surface couple of times to make it less 'heavy' so it wasn't too deep. Then I've excused myself to the loo and it struck me ! We're having conversation for 4 hours (too far dude..) and I felt more attached and I liked her a lot , since she exactly my type of gal I had fun talking to ( which doesn't happened too often) . I became too friendly, my sexy vibe flew out of the window ( body language, facial expressions, investment, sprezzantura,Law of Least Effort..violated like the prohibition of marihuana in Canada). And I failed to disqualify myself as a boyfriend..(Daddyy !! What happends when you move slowly and fail to disqualify yourself as a boyfriend ??? Oh, you fcuk sh!t up, son..)
So I'm walking out and asking what's her plans for tonight. "I'm making a presentation" .So non, gooood ! I thought. I propose we get outside for a walk. We get outside and she gets her bike (not good) . She lived couple of miles away ( walking wasn't really an option) and she had a bike ( neither was taxi) . Now my place was totally gross since I'm appearing home 2-3 times a week and it wasn't cleaned since the last house party ( it's been 2 months for gods sake..). I needed to make a quick exit since I wanted to limit chances coming across as needy and that she is in charge. I said I was busy and I needed to go. Teased a bit that her sexy smile messed up my schedule. I could tell she was waiting for me to either say bye and walk away, or to kiss her or do something ..
We stared at eachouther for 3-4 seconds and there was quite a bit of tension with her waiting and me trying to calculate my options. Following the advice mr Chace (thanks once again, sir) I broke a tension with playful banter about how we will awkwardly stare and pressure will be rising. She laughed and we hugged and decided to hang out any time soon again.
Now I didn't go for a kiss intentionally , I assumed that would make her seconguess things and put tonnes of pressure on the second meeting ( was I right ? ).
To Sum Up : If you'll lose this girl it's because you were moving slow due to your inability to stfup , you were not confident and sexy enough, you've screwed up your logistics. It would've taken you an hour max to take her home if you could just clean your room you bellend.. Oh dear.. Learning is so much fun guys I'll tell you.

Burn bright.

P.S can anyone link an article about how to indirectly ask if a girl has a boyfriend ? can't find it.

 

[Flamingo]

The Travelling Blonde PT 2

Right after our last meeting I got the text offering to hangout again (guess I've gotten away with a few screw-ups).
Invited her to come to mine and cook some dinner. Right from the start I could tell she was a bit reserved and nervous. Her gorgeous toned body was highlighted with a stylish shirt which hinted me on presence of preparation (hence her attitude towards the whole thing).
Trouble was I was nervous too , despite my attempts to overpower it via logical reasoning and relaxation pre-start techniques for competitive sports (yup guys, lack of abundance and experience in a relatively meaningless in terms of a single instance event can cast more pressure than the possibility of a severe physical harm,understanding is not enough I've proven one more time, you HAVE TO be there and feel it ). So I did best job I could communicating confidence and relaxation with my body language , but my voice and occasional verbal mess ups like lame jokes , trying to revive topics we've discussed before were giving it away casting more pressure.
I've cooked dinner and kept talking , keeping the conversation but I knew that this situation requires me to act . Right now and do us both a favor. That's where my subconscious started freaking out hard, panicking and seconguessign the conscious . Hate that feeling. It physically puts brakes on your body and when it happends in the extreme sports , nothing good has ever followed in my experience.
I got us some wine and we started sipping. By this time 2:30 has passed (oh wow, I've realized it just now..) and she looked at her watch telling that she has an early morning and has to go soon.
That was a 'code RED'. I knew that if she leaves today without us getting intimate , the proximity of us doing something fun drops down to non existent. She had enough of high value man in her life , people who's description I'm aspiring to , and if I'd fail this chance, I don't think she'd give me another one.
If I've learned something from the extreme sports that is 'letting everything go'' -in the moments of high pressure I give myself a mental commitment that I'm doing it NOW , no matter what happends next. I trigger this emotional (or rather emotion-less) state by envisioning a free fall from the hight like plane, skyscraper or a waterfall. Next, I zone out, I cut off all mental processes and run on auto pilot of simple commands.
So I did mental reasoning, controlled my breath , zoned out (given that we both knew what's the deal it's quite embarrassing the amount of skills I had to use ) and said that I had a map upstairs where she could show me her travels. She replied positively with a very enthusiastic smile , and now that I think about it I think she was happy that I had enough balls to do that.
We set on the bed and she started showing the her routes. If I thought that pressure was high downstairs , on my bed it had increased tenfold. I almost physically couldn't move. My primal brain is a b!tch..when she showed everywhere she've been (every single tiny village hoping that next second you'll do something and I knew it)there was an awkward silence. 1...2...3.. That was the point where I had like a second before she'd make a quick escape, so I slowly put my hand on her cheek and kissed her (I can hear applause on the opposite side of the screen , cheers guys haha). We've stated physically escalating very quickly releasing all the tension.
Suddenly I've encountered something I didn't expect LMR. She said that she has to go and that she has an early morning and it's all too soon and blah blah blah ( you know how it goes) . I won a battle with my brain but now there was here's. I kept escalating deflecting her logical reasoning. She started putting her shoes on, but kissing on the neck have tipped her scales towards the lust and pleasure. I've decided to start undressing her from the bottom and it worked.
It's one of the best nights in my life (girls who do yoga guys, always a winner...).
However I think I've learned more after seduction about myself than prior to that. I suddenly became very needy and very 'nice guy' down the scale. She is a person with a far superior level of experiences, skills and autonomy. She's also older than me. And she gets bored VERY quickly. I had the idiocy (due to the amount of endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin in the blood I suppose) to communicate ( verbally/non-verbally) it. We faded into the night.

When I woke up and she was gone.English style. It hurt first but than I smiled - what did you expect mate ? She is so much mature than you. It got me thinking about when I've decided to develop myself as a person - hate feeling enferior. I thought that I've started reading smart books, stop watching TV ,eat smart, exercise ,push myself and I went a far way. But I am still an indecisive kid full of fear and doubts and sentiments , who can't stick to his schedule , doesn't have a driving license, doesn't know how to set up a tent and doesn't properly do his accounting. You are still a kid compare to her buddy. Woman were always driving change in me , I guess it's a new step.
She messages later apologizing and asking if I can teach her to surf later this week..
Originally I wanted to get intimate with at least 10 girls before I settle for any kind of relationship to make sure that it doesn't happened due to the lack of abundance mentality, but I think I can learn a lot from her. And I'm stoked to find out.
To be continued..

Burn bright

 

[Flamingo]

I'm getting a feeling that it turns into the romantic autobiography rather than reports..well anyway.

These 3 last days were quite eye opening. Articles on the emotional cresting and emotional regulation have helped me to understand that a lack of certainty/knowledge/experice/ building anticipation are probably my worst enemies for my emotional swings and my anxieties. Articles on productivity ( Chases's guide to time management) on the other hand gave me an understanding of how much more work with re-wiring of my brain needs to be done. All comes down to asking yourself the right questions and taking a certain emotional angle with the punishment /reward system towards things to channel behavior through subconscious. As a highly emotional person I feel like I just got a hold of a nuclear weapon. Speaking of 'nuclear weapons' - I've started to read 'My Secret Garden' by Nancy Friday. Experiencing the whole 'red pill' effect - everything have changed. My counsious interactions , my non-verbals, 'I know something you don't ' smile doesn't leave my face now.I woundered why : I mean it's all written here in GC but it took me reading this book to REALLY get it and feel it. Probably amount of details and the language - one of the perks/drawbacks of my brain is that my empathy goes through the stratosphere by default so I'm training a lot to be able to regulate it. It also probably has something to do with a fact that I could see immediate changes in the behaviour of...

THE TRAVELLING BLONDE (pt3)
To keep this girl around I had to adjust' on the flight ' and do it QUICK since I could see that the way I was behaving wouldn't last long. When I took her for surf she wasn't as excited/enthusiastic as she was before. I've met her very friendly, playfully and caring - BIG mistake. Rapid loss of interest, second thoughts and cracks of rejection were readable.
Then something happened (thank god I did my homework). I got intimate with her on the car park when we were changing wetsuits ,in a spontaneous and very dominant way. Then again in the shower at home. On the car park I took a mental commitment to turn on more of a ' bad boy' , that this single instance( of loosing a girl) doesn't matter and I'm just learning, that it all is just experience and my place in her life is a lover - not friend, instructor or anyone else. I'm still all of those things but primarily I am a lover.
It's been 3 days of a pretty wild sex. I've done several rhythm and quite physical activities in my life for several years +given my research on the topic I was able to distinguish myself from all her previous partners. Expression on her face that I saw for a split second was worth everything I did learning seduction so far. I've heard her using vocal cords that I didn't know she had.
Now she's gone travelling for a couple of weeks giving us a time to recover and figure things out.Guess I'll find out what job have I done in this 3 days. Meanwhile I'll try to write another story.
Burn bright.