FU "FlightAttendant2"

[Higher]

FU (day, cold approach)​

I cannot believe the self-sabotaging.

I dont feel like going home after work, so i decide to go to the nearby city and see what's up. So im walking around, its sunset and i see this gorgeous brunette. Man, shes a stunner: silky short hair. Slim, but great curves. Good fashion. Just beautiful. Clearly new around here, as shes walking slowly and observing her surroundings with curiosity.

I open informational and i switch to direct as usual. She likes it and we start walking and chatting. Shes a young flight attendant leaving tomorrow. Great. Theres a lot of incidental touch, and i also touch her arm fairly often while keeping the vibe good and flirty. Shes really the quiet and introverted type, and i use that to turn quiet myself and let her contribute.

We go grab a drink. The vibe is great: i deep-dive her quite a bit, we flirt and i throw some jokes around. Then we go for a walk. She tells me that she was supposed to hang out with some colleagues, but they left the hotel without her. I joke and tell her that its too bad that she had to meet me instead. She replies with "i actually think its better!" All is going really well.

But then i mess up.

When i ask her what shes up to right now, she says that she wants to buy some souvenirs. I think to myself, "i wanna test how bad she wants to keep hanging out", so i tell her a couple times that well go to the shopping district and then ill let her go if she really wants to shop. I mean this as a sort of a yes ladder, like "look, do you like me? do you like hanging out? do you wanna keep doing it or do you wanna go shopping?", and she is supposed to answer "man, of course i wanna keep hanging out!".

Needless to say she reads it differently. She reads it as "hey, sounds like yeah, i really should be going!". So she says that yes, she wants to go shopping. In my mind thats a rejection. So i hug her and i bid her farewell.

Ill remember her puzzled look for a bit as she says "O-ok, but... maybe... lets keep in touch?" So we exchange digits. I make sure i tell her "hey, ill hang around here for a while, so when youre done shopping just text me". She says "yeah, but i have no internet connection on my phone right now". My brain decides to filter that out and i reply "alright, then see you later".

So i send her an ice-breaker and start walking, and walking, and walking, waiting for a text that will never come. All the while telling myself "man, did i just leave her?".

While i walk i keep thinking that if she really wants to hang out shell find a free wifi or something and just text me. Delusional.

I keep checking my whatsapp, she never receives the text. I decide to just take the next train and go home. After half an hour i see my text has been received, but theres no way shell ever reply. And she never does.

When i arrive in my city i decide to go solo for a cocktail in a bar nearby. Little breakthrough here, as i never did it. Feels pretty good.

Thats where i am right now as im writing this on my phone. Yeah, i still self-sabotage a lot, but i can see a silver lining: some time ago i would have never been able to attract such a girl. She really needed guidance, but at my skill level it was impossible.

Thats the beauty of this journey: sometimes you see something great is possible, you try to make the best of it, and you fail. But that motivates you to do better next time.

Other fuck-ups happened lately, but this is the one that more than others marks a level-up. I can feel im very close to a breakthrough. I just need to keep going.