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Flirty Girl Putting the Brakes on Escalation After Closing Her?

Valesti

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 27, 2014
Messages
11
I'll try to contextualize the situation in a very succinct manner.

The Lead-Up

This girl very recently had a boyfriend (who goes to my school). She was being extremely flirtatious with me, both in person and over text, even sending risque photos of herself.
At that point, I tell her that we both obviously want this to happen, but I'm not willing to do what she wants me to (implied: help her cheat on her BF. Just didn't sit right with me.)
She agrees, and breaks up with her BF the following day.

To be even more clear, she didn't really break up with her BF to be with me - she just wanted to be untethered to one guy and have a lot of fun with multiple people. Totally the person I'm down for.

The Success and Simultaneous Failure
The same night she breaks up with her BF, I close and get with her. Hooray.
I thought this was going to be a momentous occasion, but something odd happens: after a few seconds, she pulls away, and says "I think I just need more time."

We keep seeing each other a few times a week. I get to the close, we start kissing, yet she consistently pulls away after a few seconds every time. It's been about 2 weeks since they've broken up.
I asked her if it was because she thought I was kissing weirdly or something (rhythms don't also match up), but she said that that wasn't the case - she thought we had a great rhythm and I was one of the better kissers she's had.

I totally understand that everyone needs time after their break up. What I don't understand, though, is that she has definitely told me that she has been getting with other people (2nd base or beyond).

Where to Go Next?
Thus, I'm wondering, if the kissing isn't bad - and she doesn't "need time" when it relates to other people, as she's going a lot farther with them - what needs to change?

1. Is it because she really does need time? To be fair, her BF did in fact go to my school - is that getting in the way?

2. Is it because she doesn't really want to get with me, and is kind of just BSing me? If so, do I distance myself and let her figure out whether or not she even wants to get with me?

3. Do I call her out? As in, tell her that it makes zero sense that she doesn't "need time" for other people, but "needs time" for me?

In all, the situation just seems really odd. Like, she incited the entire romantic relationship, and now that it has reached the point where she wanted it to go, she's putting the brakes on it.

Any insights are very helpful. Thanks guys.
 

Inferno

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
143
3)I probably wouldn't call her out for it, that sounds needy


but you said it yourself

Valesti said:
To be even more clear, she didn't really break up with her BF to be with me - she just wanted to be untethered to one guy and have a lot of fun with multiple people. Totally the person I'm down for.

she wants to be with multiple people dude, and if she hasn't consented to have sex with you after multiple attempts that must mean she isn't feeling you

I know there was a post somewhere on GC that said that you should look at what she's actually doing with you , rather than saying

she thought we had a great rhythm and I was one of the better kissers she's had.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Valesti

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 27, 2014
Messages
11
That is a really good point, actually.

I received advice from another friend that this could potentially be a kind of last minute resistance. I mean, it is more than wholesomely possible that she really doesn't want to get with me. It's also possible that the situation is nagging at her... either way, the reasoning doesn't matter. I think I'm just going to keep plowing ahead and escalate, until she tells me to back off (and then I'll know for sure she isn't down), or accepts my advances.
 
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