Flow, and using sports psychology methods and theories to get girls.
In sports psychology (i.e. mental skills training for athletes) there is a term called 'flow'. For those of you who have played sport at a competitive level, think back to your best ever performance. Think of the time where the ball stuck to your hands/foot/stick, time almost seemed to slow, you could take in and read the game perfectly, and you absolutely dominated the other team or players. This is commonly called being 'in the zone' and the goal for a sport psychologist is to have their athletes reach this stage as often as possible. In order to be 'In the zone' or reach a stage of Flow an athlete must be mentally in an Ideal Performance State or IPS for the event:
If the challenge is too high, e.g a club rugby player in a world cup final, the player's skill will be low and the challenge high and they will be at risk of anxiety and their performance will suffer. Conversely, If a Rodger Federer were playing you or I in a match of tennis, he would feel bored by the challenge. Though he would certainly whoop our asses, he would be unlikely feel any sense of achievement (he may even feel bad for doing it *cough* rooting a fat chick *cough*) and he would surely not list it as one of his greatest performances. When the challenge is just right however, for example a player in a club rugby final between to rivals who feels at the top of his game, or Federer in form going into a final against a top opponent, the athlete is more likely to reach IPS or flow and perform at their best.
I found this incredibly applicable to my week. On Tuesday night I reluctantly settled for a girl I have slept with before who is pretty much completely average looking. She also talks in a really annoying baby voice so I don't find her super attractive, but she's super keen on me and my tinder date fell through, so I went round. I have no trouble giving her as many orgasms as I want, I usually aim to give her no more than 3 but I accidentally gave her 4 when I pounded her super hard trying to finish myself. ha. the point though, is that I didn't feel any sense of achievement from sleeping with her or performing well, just a temporary release from excess horniness I had. Consulting the above image, In relation to her she wasn't really a challenge compared to my skill level with girls. I was out of her league so to speak.
The next night I met a girl from tinder who turned out to be extremely sexy: cute and short, thin but with curves in the right places and with a sexy, sassy attitude. Well it's fair to say I panicked, said and did the wrong things and long story short she ended up texting me the next night rather matter-of-factly stating that I needed to up my game in the sack. She even said my oral sex game needed work, which I used to pride myself on! I've obviously used this date as a template to getting my shit together and this Flow model was one of the things I considered. She did say she's keen to give me another shot, but I feel like it will take the stars aligning for me to recover this. Anyone want to weigh in here? Do i cut my loses and accept the (potentially very high) reputation hit, or risk an even bigger one trying to pull off a turn around? Getting back to the Flow model, I think I saw the attractive girl as out of my league or too difficult for my skill level.
However, If a girl is just moderately higher value than you, like a girl I was with at a club last night, and you feel like you have the game to lay her, these are often the times you can reach a sort of 'seduction flow' where the perfect responses to objections roll off your tongue, your dance moves are on point, and you shag her silly and roll off her feeling like Chase Amante himself! And all of this feels like it takes almost no effort.
I wanted to post this because if you guys agree that this model is applicable, it opens up the opportunity to use other sport psych training methods I am studying in a seduction context- methods for confidence, motivation, concentration, arousal regulation, control v.s forcing it, and many more.
Also, this could work the other way: look at Chase's article on smoothness and how he mentions how intermediates can pull off unexpected things while focusing on being smooth. Is there a way to be a smooth sportsman? haha who knows! I've plugged the importance of fundamentals mentioned on this site to my rugby and other parts of my life and noticed across the board improvements (15 minutes passing practice before every training and game= Don't have to worry about throwing a poor pass in a game.)
Would love to hear what you guys think of this theory, if you think it is useful, and maybe some advice on the tinder girl situation? lol anyway enjoy
Yours,
Tommy.
In sports psychology (i.e. mental skills training for athletes) there is a term called 'flow'. For those of you who have played sport at a competitive level, think back to your best ever performance. Think of the time where the ball stuck to your hands/foot/stick, time almost seemed to slow, you could take in and read the game perfectly, and you absolutely dominated the other team or players. This is commonly called being 'in the zone' and the goal for a sport psychologist is to have their athletes reach this stage as often as possible. In order to be 'In the zone' or reach a stage of Flow an athlete must be mentally in an Ideal Performance State or IPS for the event:
If the challenge is too high, e.g a club rugby player in a world cup final, the player's skill will be low and the challenge high and they will be at risk of anxiety and their performance will suffer. Conversely, If a Rodger Federer were playing you or I in a match of tennis, he would feel bored by the challenge. Though he would certainly whoop our asses, he would be unlikely feel any sense of achievement (he may even feel bad for doing it *cough* rooting a fat chick *cough*) and he would surely not list it as one of his greatest performances. When the challenge is just right however, for example a player in a club rugby final between to rivals who feels at the top of his game, or Federer in form going into a final against a top opponent, the athlete is more likely to reach IPS or flow and perform at their best.
I found this incredibly applicable to my week. On Tuesday night I reluctantly settled for a girl I have slept with before who is pretty much completely average looking. She also talks in a really annoying baby voice so I don't find her super attractive, but she's super keen on me and my tinder date fell through, so I went round. I have no trouble giving her as many orgasms as I want, I usually aim to give her no more than 3 but I accidentally gave her 4 when I pounded her super hard trying to finish myself. ha. the point though, is that I didn't feel any sense of achievement from sleeping with her or performing well, just a temporary release from excess horniness I had. Consulting the above image, In relation to her she wasn't really a challenge compared to my skill level with girls. I was out of her league so to speak.
The next night I met a girl from tinder who turned out to be extremely sexy: cute and short, thin but with curves in the right places and with a sexy, sassy attitude. Well it's fair to say I panicked, said and did the wrong things and long story short she ended up texting me the next night rather matter-of-factly stating that I needed to up my game in the sack. She even said my oral sex game needed work, which I used to pride myself on! I've obviously used this date as a template to getting my shit together and this Flow model was one of the things I considered. She did say she's keen to give me another shot, but I feel like it will take the stars aligning for me to recover this. Anyone want to weigh in here? Do i cut my loses and accept the (potentially very high) reputation hit, or risk an even bigger one trying to pull off a turn around? Getting back to the Flow model, I think I saw the attractive girl as out of my league or too difficult for my skill level.
However, If a girl is just moderately higher value than you, like a girl I was with at a club last night, and you feel like you have the game to lay her, these are often the times you can reach a sort of 'seduction flow' where the perfect responses to objections roll off your tongue, your dance moves are on point, and you shag her silly and roll off her feeling like Chase Amante himself! And all of this feels like it takes almost no effort.
I wanted to post this because if you guys agree that this model is applicable, it opens up the opportunity to use other sport psych training methods I am studying in a seduction context- methods for confidence, motivation, concentration, arousal regulation, control v.s forcing it, and many more.
Also, this could work the other way: look at Chase's article on smoothness and how he mentions how intermediates can pull off unexpected things while focusing on being smooth. Is there a way to be a smooth sportsman? haha who knows! I've plugged the importance of fundamentals mentioned on this site to my rugby and other parts of my life and noticed across the board improvements (15 minutes passing practice before every training and game= Don't have to worry about throwing a poor pass in a game.)
Would love to hear what you guys think of this theory, if you think it is useful, and maybe some advice on the tinder girl situation? lol anyway enjoy
Yours,
Tommy.
