Fluctuations in my attractiveness?

[Verisimilitude]

This summer I've been using dating apps a lot. However, I've started to notice and interesting pattern. There are so times when I get ton of matches and girls who I match with are very attractive. But then there are other times when I have no matches and the ones I do get aren't as attractive. And the less attractive girls during the "down" times are less receptive than the more attractive girls during the "up" times.

And it isn't just online dating! During the "up" times I'll have girl checking me out and flirting with me. The dates I have go much better during the up times. But during the "down" times dates aren't as great, and girls don't seem to look at me as much.

Anyone have any experience with this?

 

[Thedoctor]

V,

This summer I've been using dating apps a lot. However, I've started to notice and interesting pattern. There are so times when I get ton of matches and girls who I match with are very attractive. But then there are other times when I have no matches and the ones I do get aren't as attractive. And the less attractive girls during the "down" times are less receptive than the more attractive girls during the "up" times.

When it comes to the dating apps, I think a lot of it has to do with the algorithms the apps use for matches. You'll notice this if you ever travel anywhere, you'll initially get a ton of solid matches right off the bat and then it slows down a bit. There are a ton of variables, but if you notice it getting stale, I'd recommend completely removing and re-installing the app.

And it isn't just online dating! During the "up" times I'll have girl checking me out and flirting with me. The dates I have go much better during the up times. But during the "down" times dates aren't as great, and girls don't seem to look at me as much.

Anyone have any experience with this?

I'd say this is mostly psychological. When you're experiencing the "up" times you referred to, you're probably feeling more confident and more receptive to girls checking you out. You also may tend to act more confident if you've been experiencing positive results, and girls in particular will pick up on this. And when you're feeling down, it has the exact opposite effect. This can be even more obvious in sales people, especially if you encounter a desperate one you suspect hasn't made a sale in a long time.

I'd recommend checking out some of the articles on "State of Mind" and Outcome Independence:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/outco ... ssing-beat

-John

 

[Verisimilitude]

Hey Doctor,

You're totally right. I figured it was psychological, and honestly, during the down times (which are only a few days, but it still bothers me).

I'll check them out! Thanks for the help man.

Do you think its purely psychological? I also feel like I'm less "lucky" or things don't go my way as much when I'm "down" I'm not sure if it's confirmation bias or what. It's just really interesting.

 

[Thedoctor]

V,

I'd say in most cases, yes, it's a psychological thing. There can be other variables too: Some of the places where you usually meet girls might dry up , the times of day you go out etc. These all impact the number of potential girls you can meet, and can add to the problem of confirmation bias you mentioned.

If you find yourself in one of these slumps, try changing up your routine a bit. Go out at different times of day and explore new pubs, cafes, parks, streets. Even if you don't meet anyone, you might find a cool place worth checking out later.

-John