Following up on someone without value leeching

[Kaida]

Recently I ran into a situation where I needed a fairly big investment from somebody and needed it done ASAP. It was only possible for them to do the shitty thing, so it’s not like I could have done it myself.


I kept following up on them pretty much every hour - it was necessary, this person was taking their fucking time - and every time I did it I felt like I was leeching away value and the energy was just not pleasant.


I could sense them getting annoyed by the constant check-ins. I didn’t know any other way to make these follow-ups any less annoying, and I needed this shit done bad.


So I just kept doing the same thing hoping it would eventually pressure them. They ended up still doing it late which pissed me off.


This is also kinda a pattern with me. Sometimes I need a shit ton of things from people - coaches, parents, friends, etc. Mostly asking for advice or their time. Sometimes I may even need these back to back (maybe thats why?). It feels like I’m value leeching sometimes. I


Im at least aware of the value imbalances so theres progress there. How do I provide value back for things like favors and such?

 

[ulrich]

Some kind of reciprocation goes a long way.

Thank them sincerely and be very expressive when you do it, invite them a couple of days or weeks later for dinner or beers.

If it is work related, most people understand (even if they don’t like it) and usually don’t hold grudges unless it’s too recurring.

Don’t fret too much about it. Sometimes you got to do exactly that to see things happen.

 

[Fuck This]

You don't leech value if you say what you are going to do and do it.

After the third time of asking for money, TELL them...."I'm going to call you every hour until you pay. I've done my part and this all hinges on you."

 

[Kaida]

@uriel Very helpful. Thanks!