For guys who past 30s, Help me understand "MID-LIFE" Crisis.

[trashKENNUT]

Hi Guys,

I just turn 24, and i feel weird a week after my birthday. As much as i see aunties struggling to transition themselves into their 50s. I need to understand this weird feeling for myself. The feeling you have when you 15, then you 18, then you 21. I realize humans renew themselves by three years internally. There's also a scientific research few years ago i have read, they say the body renew it's cells, some cells take years, but that's assumption (i don't have the link).

I feel like i don't have much time and i want to do things, I am so ambitious that it can be not good because i am stretching myself too far, and in all directions. Worse still, i don't rest properly.

But that's that. I just feel weird, Not exactly weird but a little tiny bit uncomfortable.

Zac

 

[LucidityComeBackToMe]

I turned 29 last month so am approaching 30 pretty soon. I did not think much of it when I turned 24 (your age) but I would say 25 is more of a mile stone. 21 and 25 made me ponder about where I am in life and what I should be doing at that age (which I wasn't: having lots of sex with attractive women). For me personally I really did not start feeling like an adult until about 27/28 granted I am quite emotionally immature for my age and/or do not know how to manage them well (e.g. losing my temper really quick or shunning people).

I believe there is a concept of having a Quarter-Life crisis (turning 25 or 30) but I do not like that term since it is not practical numbers wise (unless you live until 100/120). At 25 you are more likely having a One-Third Life Crises (if you kick the bucket around 75-90 which is more realistic).

Anyways I wouldn't put too much emphasis on your age and what you should be doing at that time. Similar to what Chase mentioned in his recent article about throwing out the 1-10 rating system, you should do the same thing with your age. See it this way, many people live their lives like Blue Giant Stars. Meaning they live fast, reach their prime really fast, and go into a state of decline or blow up! (think of child actors/actresses, substance abusers, excessive hedonist partying types, etc.). Our media and even culture kind of promotes this lifestyle but I think it is better to live your life like a yellow star like our Sun.

 

[Marty]

I think it is better to live your life like a yellow star like our Sun.

Hear, hear. Very nicely put!

 

[trashKENNUT]

LCBTM,

I believe there is a concept of having a Quarter-Life crisis (turning 25 or 30) but I do not like that term since it is not practical numbers wise (unless you live until 100/120). At 25 you are more likely having a One-Third Life Crises (if you kick the bucket around 75-90 which is more realistic).

I feel more like what you said, One-Third Life Crisis. GAh... I have to say, i am still immature, although people say i talk like "old people" or i "know a lot of stuff".

Meaning they live fast, reach their prime really fast, and go into a state of decline or blow up! (think of child actors/actresses, substance abusers, excessive hedonist partying types, etc.).

I understand, My high school friend just pass on, drinking and reckless act by his friends. It's sad abit.

yellow star like our Sun.

It's actually harder, because the sun is consistent. Worth trying.

Zac

 

[Clout]

Some of the major human fears are related to age. I am 23, since the age of 15 I had a life frustration annually. What I realised was that it happens with 2 things:
1 - I have tried my best to succeed in something and it isn't improving to a satisfactory level (effort outweighs reward).
2 - I feel like I have reached the skill/level I wished to achieve in said activity.

What seemed to remove my frustration? Moving on to something new...

Anyone who ever searches for self-help has this in them, at varying degrees. Unlike many we believe there is more than we can see right now, it exists, like a religious belief. We want to get there, even when we can't comprehend what "there" looks/feels like.

I wanted to minimise this feeling as much as possible. At 17 I started playing poker, I read books etc. It was probably the best thing I ever undertook. Why? I learnt to control me better, spot my emotion shifts better, most importantly; Improve my C game (by sticking to the A plan after loosing a few big pots).

Secondly being honest with myself and adhering to #1. I would never advocate quitting, however re-directing attention and leaving the door open for future...in case of change in circumstance, is a little different. I have my chief definite aim (as N Hill would say), my way in which I get there is constantly adjusting to circumstance.

The people in my life right now believe I am happy (women make comments about how I can be so happy single). Recently though, a male who has essentially deep dived me said "I think most people are happy in life, choosing to not move. I get this feeling though that you are very happy. You get what you want yet, I there is a certain unhappiness from you wanting more". I am actually very happy with his comment.

 

[trashKENNUT]

We want to get there, even when we can't comprehend what "there" looks/feels like.

That's the part that kills people, Because "there" is not visible, It's often labelled Illuminati too, and the devil. It's too often that it is not even funny.

Zac

 

[Clout]

Zac I have seen some of your posts and clearly you wish to achieve and follow your direction. Now you seem frustrated because you haven't arrived their yet or maybe are unsure of your next move. I guess the bad news is that try as you might, "there" will always be distant. As you take bigger strides to achieving it, you will want more, see more, realise more. So the only thing you can do is keep making moves in any direction, something is better than nothing.

Life isn't about the destination, its the journey. Try and enjoy it before you do reach the end.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Life isn't about the destination, its the journey. Try and enjoy it before you do reach the end.

I be honest with you. I am not the most talented person in the world. I always fail terribly when i was young. Nowadays a few people think i am superstar-like but no i am not and i am not that close to even reaching there. Why i want to be "there"? Because i know how it sucks to be here. I have watch guys, who struggle with women, with jobs, with money, with their lifes!

Is it the guys fault for failing? Probably, But Society has also put on a facade. A system where everybody could not fit in, because everyone is different. Is society wrong? I definitely be bias and say they been shit, but i also cannot ignore how society and religion (you would say) has built up this stability and the technology we enjoying now ,despite the hiccups.

I want to be better, so i can inspire them, and make them feel like they can do something with their lifes, and how they can take steps. You would feel a bit sad if you see an unemployed 50 year old man who don't know how to use a computer, and he's unemployed, again i emphasize, because of education.

Zac

 

[Clout]

For a lot of people they really don't want to see the world for what it is. Ignorance is bliss. 1 month being single I started reading Chase's stuff, 3 Months after that I lost my best friend after trying to show him what Chase had enabled me to do.

Recently I picked up a club girl within his social circle (I didn't know). She said he was "kinda dating" her friend, taking her out for meals, cinema and driving her around. She laughed, said he is never going to get in her pants. To be honest I felt terrible.

A good friend spent a long time trying to help people but wasn't in the right place. Mainly financially, however with all the work he has put in over 8 years, finally he felt he can make a difference. Now I see it as a ladder. You need to be far enough up it (understanding & skills), you need to have your feet firmly planted (belief & experience) before you can start trying to hoist people up a few steps. So if you feel frustration I would just keep working on yourself for now and step aside from the inspiration. In the end it will take care of itself.

 

[trashKENNUT]

So if you feel frustration I would just keep working on yourself for now and step aside from the inspiration. In the end it will take care of itself.

Abit sappy, i do my best.

Zac