- Joined
- Jan 15, 2019
- Messages
- 15
Too long didnt read version: Met this girl on tinder, didnt escalate on the first date. Make out with her on the beach on the second date. She was into me, because she really wanted to hang out with me again. Third date I tried having sex with her but couldnt get past LMR when I tried to take her panties off. Now she friendzoned me. It’s possible that the reason for this is because “Attraction expires” and our dates were really far spread out, like weeks. It’s also possible that because I couldnt get past LMR, she friendzoned me. Please read the bolded section under “Third date”. I think its very important. Also, its worth mentioning that I live with my parents so its impossible to bring a girl over to my place, which is why I kept trying to invite myself over to hers. Right now im feeling hopeless, worthless, and heartbroken.
Full story:
I live in a city full of white girls. I find they are the hardest to get matched with on Tinder. But in September of 2018, I got matched with a REALLY cute one, who was of my age (24). Rarely do I see many cute girls that are single of my age, so I didnt wanna fuck this up. I recently got a hoverboard, so I asked her “Have you ever tried a hoverboard?”, and asked her out for drinks and she can try my hoverboard afterwards. We planned a day and place to meet. The day of the date, she sent a pretty sincere message saying she wants to do a different day. I was a little disappointed as I has dressed up all nice and shit lol, and knew it was too good to be true. Anyway, I hit her up a couple days later to meet up and she said shes going out for the weekend and will hit me up when she’s back. I didn’t expect her to hit me up, but a couple of days later she did (which shows me she’s actually interested. We did some chit chatting over text about her work and about how we both had insomnia. It felt like she was the one who was continuing the conversation, which again, showed interest (even though we hadnt met yet).
First date:
Anyway, fast forward to when we did end up meeting: It was mostly a getting to know each other kind of date. We sat and talked for a few hours at a bar, had a few drinks. I didn’t escalate physically that day at all. When we were ending the night, the waiter asked if we wanted to split the bill or together. I said together, even though she said she’ll pay for her own. I got us both a tequila shot each (I had to drink half of hers since she couldnt finish it), and paid for the bill. I asked her if she wanted a ride home. She said no. I insisted, since it was cold and i wouldn’t let her walk home. She agreed to it, and when we got near to her street house, she said ‘here is fine’. It seemed like she was trying to hide her place from me. I reminded her that she was gonna ride my hoverboard. So I let her on my hoverboard, and held her hands and let her ride for a few mins. Afterwards, I took the hoverboard, hugged her while I was still on it. I think it was a pretty quick hug. I said bye, and started riding away. She said “Byeeee _insert my name here_”, in a very seductive voice. Later that night I sent her a recipe of avocado margaritas that I got from the waiter from the bar that night (since we talked about making them at home together)
Analysis: I think you all know what I did wrong here, I didn’t escalate physically enough. I had only been lurking around girlschase.com at the moment, and I didn’t know many of the rules. I didn’t know that you should be going for first date sex. I thought holding her hands while she was riding my hoverboard was physical escalation enough! So then after some reading of Chase’s articles, I was like ok I’ll just fuck her on the second date. But what I did right was to be an interesting and confident man (or so I think). Also, it was evident from our conversation that night that she wasn’t the brightest of girls, but her looks more than made up for that, and we got along pretty well. Also, I shouldn’t have paid for the date, I learned this later after one of Chase’s articles.
Fast forward to two days later. I asked her what she’s upto (I later found out that this was actually her birthday). She said she was busy in the evening but not doing much in the afternoon. She asked me what I was upto. I told her that I have a volleyball game in the evening, but was thinking that we could go for a walk before then. She kindly declined as she was just meeting up with a friend to babysit a puppy. Then I said “Ok fine. I have a puppy too btw”, to which she replied “What no way thats so cute”. 5 days later I asked for her schedule, and told her that im craving those avocado margaritas, to which she enthusiastically said she’s also craving them! She then said “I'm free Thursdayyyy, What's your sched like? I'll let you know though cuz I have a bit of a cold ugh but hopefully I'll be good by then emoji” Then I told her that I don’t have a vitamix so we’ll have to do it at her place, to which she replied .“Only thing is one of my roomies works early friday so maybe we could drink a batch then after go out for a walk or go somewhere else for drinks if we're still craving them margs emoji”. Then we had another discussion about logistics and timing and her cold and stuff and decided that we’ll see on Thursday how her cold is. So I texted her on Thursday and she said her cold was worse. So I told her to hit me up when she’s feeling better. She didn’t text me back for 10 days, and I finally coughed up the courage to ask her how her cold was doing. (I didnt wanna seem desperate to ask her even though I put the ball in her court to let me know when she’s better). Anyway, she gave me a pretty enthusiastic response and told me when she’s free (except she said she didnt wanna do avacado margaritas). I asked her if she wanted to go ice skating, and after another few painful texts about figuring out logistics, we settled on a date and time (she’s a nurse and works nights so it was sometimes tough to figure schedules out, I guess?). Since we were talking pretty late at night, after figuring out logistics, she asked me if my insomnia was keeping me up, which shows me she wanted to keep talking to me). Then I hinted at her that cuddling helps insomnia, and told her to hit me up next time she’s having insomnia lol. Then I told her that I gotta go and ended the conversation.
Second date:
Picked her up, we went skating, had some fun. Then we went to a restaurant, had some food, drinks. We talked in british accents with each other. It was really fun, I really started to fall for this girl. Then after a few hours of spending time with her, we decided to call it a night, and I held her hand as we walked to my car. I casually, and in a funny way mentioned how the way we were holding hands was awkward, so we tried a few variations, just for fun. Then I was dropping her off home, and right when we got to her house, I said ‘Nahhh, im not dropping you off home, lets go to a viewpoint!!, or a beach or something”. Even though it was the middle of the winter, I took her to the beach, and after about 2 minutes of sitting down near the water, I started making out with her. I was on top of her, we were having a full blown makeout session on the sand. She mentioned how she smelled like garlic, I agreed and offered her gum, and she said she doesnt chew gum, so I told her that she’s weird, but I like her. Then we continued making out. We even switched positions, I was on top, she was on bottom at one point. Then I took her home. When we were at her house, I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her door. She said no, and then I said “Don’t get raped by that cat”!
Analysis: During skating she verbally hinted that she was done skating. I think I should’ve called the shots and moved on to the restaurant without her having to say shes tired or whatever. No big deal. But I think I did everything right, except for when I dropped her off home. Instead of asking her if I should walk her to her door, I probably should have walked her to her door and kissed here there instead of kissing her in my car? I donno, either way It was a pretty successful night as I texted her ‘I can still smell the garlic. Worth it
” and she told me she had fun and we joked about her ex boyfriend asking her to settle down and have kids since they were already pretty old. I said “Wanna settle down and have kids??” to which she laughed and said “Yes plz, im not getting any younger afterall”.
Here’s a key point that has me all confused: She texted me two days later asking me whats up, and asking to hang out that same day. I was smiling from cheek to cheek, knowing that she liked me now. I told her I was busy playing floor hockey. I was in fact busy, but also wanted to show that im not always available for her. So I asked her if she was free over the weekend... and we actually couldnt set a date together. So we didnt end up communicating for like 5 days. The only communication we had was when she wished me a happy belated birthday and asked if I ended up skydiving. Then I asked her if she was free tomorrow around 4, and she said“ i might be busy, etc etc”, but she also said “what did ya have in mind??” To which I replied and sent her a picture of me and my puppy and said “You’re too busy for this handsome guy?? And look at that puppy!!”. She actually didnt receive the text so she thought I ignored her. So she texted me again the next day and said “Maybe tomorrow night??” And the next day I have a massive headache so I decided I couldnt meet her. So we settled for Monday, which was 4 days from now.
She showed obvious signs of interest here. For example randomly texting me asking me to hangout that one day, and also texting me again after I ‘ignored her’.
When I texted her on Monday to see if she’s still good for 8pm, she said yep, but that shes only able to hang for an hour or two. What did this mean? Was she signalling to me that she wants sex fast? Or that she’s losing interest in me? Also, this was her second time asking “What did you wanna do?”. I wasnt quite sure myself what to do in this situation, because I don’t have my own place. The only place I can have sex with her is her place. So I suggested going for a drive and having a few drinks at her place. She initially said “No, my roomies have to get up early, so we cant do my place. But actually, would you wanna get some appies? Im so hungry and wont have time to finish dinner at work lol”... but then later she texted me saying that her roomie that has to get up early is staying at her bf’s, so we can actually chill at her place for a bit.
Third date:
Fast forward to me actually picking her up. This is our third date now. I took her to some restaurant/pub for some food. I brought along these socializing cards that made you ask the other person questions such as “What’s your ideal 3 course meal” and “Say one thing you like about the other person”. We had fun with these questions, but I think it was getting kinda awkward in between since we weren’t doing talking other than asking and answering the questions. Anyway, afterwards I took her to her place, got comfortable, and we had wine. We started to sit really close to each other on the couch and talking. Soon enough, we were in her bed, watching netflix. After about 10 minutes of this ‘street magic’ that we watched, I closed her laptop and started making out with her. She said something like “Oh ok I guess we’re not watching the show anymore”. I continued escalating, taking our clothes off, rubbing my body agasint her, running my hands down her body. For some reason, I cant remember why, but we shared how many people we;ve fucked before. I told her the honest answer, that i’ve only fucked one. She told me “I’ve been slutting around since I broke up with my BF. So like 6-7 guys since summer”. When I got to her panties, I fingered her for a bit and she started moaning. Then I said “hold on a second” and went to my wallet to get my condom. When I got back, I had the condom in my hand and started making out with her again. She took the condom from my hand and threw it away. I thought to myself, okay just some LMR, exactly how the PUA’s have taught me. Then I tried to take her panties off and she wouldnt let me. She kept pulling them up and then said “Not today”. Then I said “But im leaving to go on a cruise, you wont see me for like 2 weeks!” And then she said “Im not used to seeing you anyway!”. Then I tried taking her panties off with my mouth, and she didnt let me, so I said “But I thought you said you were slutting around??”. I think this is where I thought to myself “Well I tried getting past LMR, I’ve tried persisting like 3 times, so she must really not want to have sex”. Then I stopped escalating, she put her clothes back on. I put my clothes back on. Then we went outside of her room, I introduced myself to her roomate. Then after her roommate was gone, I made out with her again, and then left her apartment. This was the last time I saw her.
Analysis: At the time, I didnt realize that getting past LMR was SO important. I thought to myself no big deal, I’ll just do it next time. Then as I read Chase’s articles, I realized that it might be doomed. But the thing is, after we put our clothes back on, we passionately made out again. If she really didnt like me, would she still make out with me? Maybe I shouldn't have told her that I've only fucked 1 girl before, that may be a turn off?
Side note, I realized that in every date I had with her, I had to have a few swigs of alcohol before hand to get some liquid courage, and I found out that she did during the first and second dates too. She told me on our third date ‘this is the first time im seeing you sober!’
Fast forward to a couple of days ago. She’s been unenthusiastic about any plans i’ve tried to make with her. I even sent her a text about some girl who reminded me of her, and the response wasn't too enthusiastic. I had a very good feeling that she didn’t like me anymore, but I needed some sort of ‘closure’. So then this is our last exchange
https://imgur.com/a/ExTHoEr
I didn’t realize how much I liked her until I got this text from her. This has essentially ruined my week, maybe month. I was head over heals into this girl. Especially after smelling her vagina. Oh man. Everything is painful now. I know, the best way to feel better about this is to see other women. But, im trying to figure out where I went wrong here.
Full story:
I live in a city full of white girls. I find they are the hardest to get matched with on Tinder. But in September of 2018, I got matched with a REALLY cute one, who was of my age (24). Rarely do I see many cute girls that are single of my age, so I didnt wanna fuck this up. I recently got a hoverboard, so I asked her “Have you ever tried a hoverboard?”, and asked her out for drinks and she can try my hoverboard afterwards. We planned a day and place to meet. The day of the date, she sent a pretty sincere message saying she wants to do a different day. I was a little disappointed as I has dressed up all nice and shit lol, and knew it was too good to be true. Anyway, I hit her up a couple days later to meet up and she said shes going out for the weekend and will hit me up when she’s back. I didn’t expect her to hit me up, but a couple of days later she did (which shows me she’s actually interested. We did some chit chatting over text about her work and about how we both had insomnia. It felt like she was the one who was continuing the conversation, which again, showed interest (even though we hadnt met yet).
First date:
Anyway, fast forward to when we did end up meeting: It was mostly a getting to know each other kind of date. We sat and talked for a few hours at a bar, had a few drinks. I didn’t escalate physically that day at all. When we were ending the night, the waiter asked if we wanted to split the bill or together. I said together, even though she said she’ll pay for her own. I got us both a tequila shot each (I had to drink half of hers since she couldnt finish it), and paid for the bill. I asked her if she wanted a ride home. She said no. I insisted, since it was cold and i wouldn’t let her walk home. She agreed to it, and when we got near to her street house, she said ‘here is fine’. It seemed like she was trying to hide her place from me. I reminded her that she was gonna ride my hoverboard. So I let her on my hoverboard, and held her hands and let her ride for a few mins. Afterwards, I took the hoverboard, hugged her while I was still on it. I think it was a pretty quick hug. I said bye, and started riding away. She said “Byeeee _insert my name here_”, in a very seductive voice. Later that night I sent her a recipe of avocado margaritas that I got from the waiter from the bar that night (since we talked about making them at home together)
Analysis: I think you all know what I did wrong here, I didn’t escalate physically enough. I had only been lurking around girlschase.com at the moment, and I didn’t know many of the rules. I didn’t know that you should be going for first date sex. I thought holding her hands while she was riding my hoverboard was physical escalation enough! So then after some reading of Chase’s articles, I was like ok I’ll just fuck her on the second date. But what I did right was to be an interesting and confident man (or so I think). Also, it was evident from our conversation that night that she wasn’t the brightest of girls, but her looks more than made up for that, and we got along pretty well. Also, I shouldn’t have paid for the date, I learned this later after one of Chase’s articles.
Fast forward to two days later. I asked her what she’s upto (I later found out that this was actually her birthday). She said she was busy in the evening but not doing much in the afternoon. She asked me what I was upto. I told her that I have a volleyball game in the evening, but was thinking that we could go for a walk before then. She kindly declined as she was just meeting up with a friend to babysit a puppy. Then I said “Ok fine. I have a puppy too btw”, to which she replied “What no way thats so cute”. 5 days later I asked for her schedule, and told her that im craving those avocado margaritas, to which she enthusiastically said she’s also craving them! She then said “I'm free Thursdayyyy, What's your sched like? I'll let you know though cuz I have a bit of a cold ugh but hopefully I'll be good by then emoji” Then I told her that I don’t have a vitamix so we’ll have to do it at her place, to which she replied .“Only thing is one of my roomies works early friday so maybe we could drink a batch then after go out for a walk or go somewhere else for drinks if we're still craving them margs emoji”. Then we had another discussion about logistics and timing and her cold and stuff and decided that we’ll see on Thursday how her cold is. So I texted her on Thursday and she said her cold was worse. So I told her to hit me up when she’s feeling better. She didn’t text me back for 10 days, and I finally coughed up the courage to ask her how her cold was doing. (I didnt wanna seem desperate to ask her even though I put the ball in her court to let me know when she’s better). Anyway, she gave me a pretty enthusiastic response and told me when she’s free (except she said she didnt wanna do avacado margaritas). I asked her if she wanted to go ice skating, and after another few painful texts about figuring out logistics, we settled on a date and time (she’s a nurse and works nights so it was sometimes tough to figure schedules out, I guess?). Since we were talking pretty late at night, after figuring out logistics, she asked me if my insomnia was keeping me up, which shows me she wanted to keep talking to me). Then I hinted at her that cuddling helps insomnia, and told her to hit me up next time she’s having insomnia lol. Then I told her that I gotta go and ended the conversation.
Second date:
Picked her up, we went skating, had some fun. Then we went to a restaurant, had some food, drinks. We talked in british accents with each other. It was really fun, I really started to fall for this girl. Then after a few hours of spending time with her, we decided to call it a night, and I held her hand as we walked to my car. I casually, and in a funny way mentioned how the way we were holding hands was awkward, so we tried a few variations, just for fun. Then I was dropping her off home, and right when we got to her house, I said ‘Nahhh, im not dropping you off home, lets go to a viewpoint!!, or a beach or something”. Even though it was the middle of the winter, I took her to the beach, and after about 2 minutes of sitting down near the water, I started making out with her. I was on top of her, we were having a full blown makeout session on the sand. She mentioned how she smelled like garlic, I agreed and offered her gum, and she said she doesnt chew gum, so I told her that she’s weird, but I like her. Then we continued making out. We even switched positions, I was on top, she was on bottom at one point. Then I took her home. When we were at her house, I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her door. She said no, and then I said “Don’t get raped by that cat”!
Analysis: During skating she verbally hinted that she was done skating. I think I should’ve called the shots and moved on to the restaurant without her having to say shes tired or whatever. No big deal. But I think I did everything right, except for when I dropped her off home. Instead of asking her if I should walk her to her door, I probably should have walked her to her door and kissed here there instead of kissing her in my car? I donno, either way It was a pretty successful night as I texted her ‘I can still smell the garlic. Worth it
” and she told me she had fun and we joked about her ex boyfriend asking her to settle down and have kids since they were already pretty old. I said “Wanna settle down and have kids??” to which she laughed and said “Yes plz, im not getting any younger afterall”. Here’s a key point that has me all confused: She texted me two days later asking me whats up, and asking to hang out that same day. I was smiling from cheek to cheek, knowing that she liked me now. I told her I was busy playing floor hockey. I was in fact busy, but also wanted to show that im not always available for her. So I asked her if she was free over the weekend... and we actually couldnt set a date together. So we didnt end up communicating for like 5 days. The only communication we had was when she wished me a happy belated birthday and asked if I ended up skydiving. Then I asked her if she was free tomorrow around 4, and she said“ i might be busy, etc etc”, but she also said “what did ya have in mind??” To which I replied and sent her a picture of me and my puppy and said “You’re too busy for this handsome guy?? And look at that puppy!!”. She actually didnt receive the text so she thought I ignored her. So she texted me again the next day and said “Maybe tomorrow night??” And the next day I have a massive headache so I decided I couldnt meet her. So we settled for Monday, which was 4 days from now.
She showed obvious signs of interest here. For example randomly texting me asking me to hangout that one day, and also texting me again after I ‘ignored her’.
When I texted her on Monday to see if she’s still good for 8pm, she said yep, but that shes only able to hang for an hour or two. What did this mean? Was she signalling to me that she wants sex fast? Or that she’s losing interest in me? Also, this was her second time asking “What did you wanna do?”. I wasnt quite sure myself what to do in this situation, because I don’t have my own place. The only place I can have sex with her is her place. So I suggested going for a drive and having a few drinks at her place. She initially said “No, my roomies have to get up early, so we cant do my place. But actually, would you wanna get some appies? Im so hungry and wont have time to finish dinner at work lol”... but then later she texted me saying that her roomie that has to get up early is staying at her bf’s, so we can actually chill at her place for a bit.
Third date:
Fast forward to me actually picking her up. This is our third date now. I took her to some restaurant/pub for some food. I brought along these socializing cards that made you ask the other person questions such as “What’s your ideal 3 course meal” and “Say one thing you like about the other person”. We had fun with these questions, but I think it was getting kinda awkward in between since we weren’t doing talking other than asking and answering the questions. Anyway, afterwards I took her to her place, got comfortable, and we had wine. We started to sit really close to each other on the couch and talking. Soon enough, we were in her bed, watching netflix. After about 10 minutes of this ‘street magic’ that we watched, I closed her laptop and started making out with her. She said something like “Oh ok I guess we’re not watching the show anymore”. I continued escalating, taking our clothes off, rubbing my body agasint her, running my hands down her body. For some reason, I cant remember why, but we shared how many people we;ve fucked before. I told her the honest answer, that i’ve only fucked one. She told me “I’ve been slutting around since I broke up with my BF. So like 6-7 guys since summer”. When I got to her panties, I fingered her for a bit and she started moaning. Then I said “hold on a second” and went to my wallet to get my condom. When I got back, I had the condom in my hand and started making out with her again. She took the condom from my hand and threw it away. I thought to myself, okay just some LMR, exactly how the PUA’s have taught me. Then I tried to take her panties off and she wouldnt let me. She kept pulling them up and then said “Not today”. Then I said “But im leaving to go on a cruise, you wont see me for like 2 weeks!” And then she said “Im not used to seeing you anyway!”. Then I tried taking her panties off with my mouth, and she didnt let me, so I said “But I thought you said you were slutting around??”. I think this is where I thought to myself “Well I tried getting past LMR, I’ve tried persisting like 3 times, so she must really not want to have sex”. Then I stopped escalating, she put her clothes back on. I put my clothes back on. Then we went outside of her room, I introduced myself to her roomate. Then after her roommate was gone, I made out with her again, and then left her apartment. This was the last time I saw her.
Analysis: At the time, I didnt realize that getting past LMR was SO important. I thought to myself no big deal, I’ll just do it next time. Then as I read Chase’s articles, I realized that it might be doomed. But the thing is, after we put our clothes back on, we passionately made out again. If she really didnt like me, would she still make out with me? Maybe I shouldn't have told her that I've only fucked 1 girl before, that may be a turn off?
Side note, I realized that in every date I had with her, I had to have a few swigs of alcohol before hand to get some liquid courage, and I found out that she did during the first and second dates too. She told me on our third date ‘this is the first time im seeing you sober!’
Fast forward to a couple of days ago. She’s been unenthusiastic about any plans i’ve tried to make with her. I even sent her a text about some girl who reminded me of her, and the response wasn't too enthusiastic. I had a very good feeling that she didn’t like me anymore, but I needed some sort of ‘closure’. So then this is our last exchange
I didn’t realize how much I liked her until I got this text from her. This has essentially ruined my week, maybe month. I was head over heals into this girl. Especially after smelling her vagina. Oh man. Everything is painful now. I know, the best way to feel better about this is to see other women. But, im trying to figure out where I went wrong here.
