Frame Control and online dating

[sumwunimetonce]

So, I have started to relearn some stuff about frame control and wanted to discuss ..
1. if I am getting it right and understand what it is.
2. How important it is on Tinder/Hinge/Bumble etc ...

So normally when I match with a girl I just let the conversation flow as much as possible, it normally takes me 3 days + to get a date but can be 10 days. Not sure if this is bad or good but I can get plenty dates, just not quickly. I have tried asking women out earlier but normally they just ignore me so there seems to be quite a lot of conversation and comfort to be built before they agree to meet.

Now I am not sure my understanding of Frame control is great by my take is thats its having a very strong sense of who you are, what you want and what you will not tolerate.

In practical terms I not really sure how to execute this. ?

All I seem to get from the articles is that once you have a sense of the above 3 things (Who (Mr Sexy) What (Bar1 then home), Tolerate (no shit)) you maintain control by ignoring any of a women's challenges to this.

So (For ex) if she says she is tired and needs to go home you simply ignore it and grab her hand taking her to the next place. Its like the game equivalent of being that really persuasive cool friend who always gets what they want.

Is there more to it than this ?

Well anyway with that in mind I was messaging a girl today

ME: There is a sex recession apparently ... we are having less sex than our parents ... I wonder what we can do about it (wink wink)
HER: I heard about that but I thinks its the younger generation, not people like US (wink)
ME: Just think about it, what would you do with your boyfriend if you were really really bored ...
HER: Watch Netflix
ME: Netflix has not been invented yet
HER: Read books

So this was me trying to set a sexual frame ?? and her having a stronger frame ? I feel that I was slightly trying to elicit an answer from her which did not feel right.

Also I am not sure if I was a bit clunky but it felt very slightly pushy and unnatural from me and since I probably need several days of this type of conversation I would rather just let .it flow.

What are your thoughts, have I got this right / wrong ? And do you need to use / have this during text or online game

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Sumwunimetonce dude! There's more to frame than that. Everything is frame, ya verbals, non verbals, any communication. It's setting you as the prize or putting you in control. It's very important online because ya typically haven't met them yet an ya don't have non verbal to help ya. 80% of communication is non verbal...

3 to 10 days is bad, especially with flowing conversation. It's in ya system an it's working for ya. A have never done online but if ya taking 10 days of flowing conversation there's a lot of time to fuck up. Ya can get them out much quicker but sometimes ya need more rapport. If it's working ya doing something right.

Ya example bout the girl being tired is shit, there's no context to it. This could be her way of saying I don't want to do the steps I just want to fuck. Ya don't need to stick to the plan if she's ready to go home early. If it's a shit test or excuse to leave then ignore the shit test and overcome any objection. Each one is handled differently but it's you taking control of the frame.

Ya example from ya messaging today can be taken out of context but she's out gamed you easily. You pushed on a weak frame and she's played dumb making you chase to get what ya wanted. Ya also painted a shit frame saying sex with you is what ya do when ya bored. Not attractive, not dominant.

She said people like us (wink), painting a couple frame it's you two against the world. This is positive, you then broke ya own frame but not in an intentional way. If ya would have teased her and acted innocent you'd have been playful and in control even making her qualify herself. If ya wanted to keep on the sexual track then keep on it. This is frame control dude. Definitely need it...

If ya gonna let it flow, you've got to be able to steer it and lead. This will speed up ya date times an make ya more attractive dude

 

[sumwunimetonce]

3 to 10 days is bad, especially with flowing conversation.

I get this, but this is the UK which i think is much slower than the US, when I have been in New Orleans and NYC it was same day. That being said, I think i can get this down to 2-3 days.

Sumwunimetonce dude! There's more to frame than that. Everything is frame, ya verbals, non verbals, any communication. It's setting you as the prize or putting you in control. It's very important online because ya typically haven't met them yet an ya don't have non verbal to help ya. 80% of communication is non verbal...

Totally, but can someone point me in the direction of other resources and articles on frame, the ones on GC are not enough for me.

Ya example from ya messaging today can be taken out of context but she's out gamed you easily. You pushed on a weak frame and she's played dumb making you chase to get what ya wanted. Ya also painted a shit frame saying sex with you is what ya do when ya bored. Not attractive, not dominant.

Yeah I at least have a vague understanding that she has a stronger frame here. Did not know that my frame was shit ... Fuck I have mixture of conscious and unconscious incompetence !!

Suggestions welcome

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Sumwunimetonce dude! I'm in the UK myself, never been to the states to actually comment on that situation but yeah a find from experience some times ya need to build a bit more rapport which slows ya down a bit. 2 days of flowing conversation sounds overkill to me but if it's working it's working. A have never done online but thinking bout giving it a go so if a do a will let ya know!

I have only just used the GC articles on frame but seppuku has some great comments on frame even indirectly on his threads and replies to people. Same with fuck this, the more posts ya read on here the more ya will see it.

The frame ya set could have worked but she'd have had to see ya as very valuable. Unless ya in the top 10% online ya usually gonna struggle with this because they're flooded with attention. A female friend of mine that isn't very attractive was on a few dating apps and was flooded with guys an said she got that much attention she couldn't reply to everyone.... imagine if she was attractive... fuck

Everyone fucks up an throws out weak frames, realising this will help ya correct it. Again not having non verbals an facial expressions really limits ya, my text game was completely shit but I've got a lot better.

If ya gonna go down flowing conversation study russell brand or read up RSD cause ya need to be energetic an charismatic to pull it off or just a great conversationalist. (A think ya lacking a little here based on ya example) Ironically a used to be more like russell brand until a thought a was doing to much an now I barely do anything. This gives me options an they're both very congruent to me.

Remember dude ya can do everything right an strike out an ya can do everything wrong and hit the high score. For ya earlier example stepping back shows ya confident an comfortable, deep dive (what does she read, why? Etc) then re frame later. If ya unfazed by a bump ya go up an down the escalation ladder until she's comfortable.

 

[sumwunimetonce]

2 days of flowing conversation sounds overkill to me but if it's working it's working

To clarify, I am not talking every day but thats the length of time from when I initiate conversation to when I meet ... I think they just need time to get comfortable ... I will work on reducing it though.

seppuku has some great comments on frame even indirectly on his threads

I will search for these, thanks.

Speaking of Russel Brand, I just read this on Frame Control that was interesting https://thequintessentialmind.com/the-russel-brand-method/

Some extract from the article...

The act of controlling the frame may be an exercise of power for some

Frame control is indeed a very powerful conversational tool, but my purpose here was never to help you use powerful concepts in the wrong way. Sometimes it might be necessary, even vital for your success,

So I do understand that the first step is to be aware of what frames are and who is controlling them.

I would like to ask how important is it to be controlling the frame at all times. I do not want to be constantly trying to control the frame and often want to just enjoy myself and let things flow.

Are there certain frames or certain times that my frame needs to be the dominant one and others where it is less important ??

What I DO NOT want to do is start to try and impose frames that are not natural to me ... things that I pick up on here ... I think thats slightly what i was doing with my example and why it was slightly shit chat.

What I DO WANT is to not have my frame broken when I do not want it to be or where it will affect me negatively.

A line from that article says

my clear aim here is that frame control should be perceived only as a defence mechanism

A recent date I was on was going great until we were joined by her friends, one of which had a stronger frame than I did and essentially ruined the date. Awareness of frame and ability to control it would have prevented this situation I think.

So is the first step being aware of who holds control of the frame in any conversation ... the to work on when it needs to be controlled and how to do it ?

If so then what are these subtle signs or displays of frame control ??

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Sumwunimetonce dude! If that's ya time to get them out that's fine. A have a very busy schedule an usually have to meet them 5 days later from first meeting them. Unless that's ya time for asking them out.

That article is a great read an Brand is fantastic there.

It's not important to always be controlling the frame an sometimes ya need to accept their frame to an extent to continue. Constantly trying to control the frame if ya not that good at it will come across try hard. I know a guy like this an he's a tool. Sit back an watch him fuck up, it's fairly entertaining.

There's certain frames an times where ya can't break frame an you need to control it or reframe it. Other times not so important. Using ya first example (never frame it as boring!) When she said watch Netflix ya could have accepted this change but lead it where ya wanted.

So ya accept it, then deep dive a little about what she likes to watch and stuff then go back. Alternatively ya keep ya frame but you tease... an chill?/ is that what we're calling it now?... it's now playful an ya still in control. Or ya raise it if ya really wanna push... yeah that would be cool but I'd be distracted....
Personally a wouldn't sext in this situation because ya haven't met her yet. Unless the frame calls for it...

Frames that aren't natural to ya ya won't stick to unless ya consciously do it. Sometimes ya have to. But ya will know this is a must in situations. Think of shit tests where they flip a bitch.... it was very shit chat, unless she accepts it. Then it doesn't matter how shit it is really dude

There's no context to ya date situation. Guy friend? Girl friend? Did she invite them? Bumped into them? Sounds like a shit situation dude. This isn't necessarily a frame ya could have controlled depending on the set up without being try hard sometimes on this ya need to be unaffected an that keeps ya frame. (Read Mr Robs last post on the forum, he controlled that cluster fuck of a frame)

Be aware of it, ya gut instinct will help ya here. This will also help ya decide when it needs controlling. However remember above where I said I watch that guy fuck up. Don't be that guy. Guys like that can trip themselves up always trying to be involved. Ya can control a frame without doing anything.

Signs an displays change on context an situation. Someone unaware might think the clown is controlling the frame as all eyes are on him, this is a side attraction (try hard guy) while the king is being amused by their antics.

 

[sumwunimetonce]

I know a guy like this an he's a tool. Sit back an watch him fuck up, it's fairly entertaining.

Fuck ... hope you not been observing me

Thanks for the advice, I think its something I will just become aware of more when I start looking out for it.