Frame control through sex : the last hurdle

[lux7]

The other day a girl I was with told me "she liked it hard".
I don't like it when women try to excite with blatant talk, so I slightly smiled and let her explain it more but dropped it soon after.

Some days later I wanted to call her but felt tired and was thinking maybe not that day as I wasn't gonna be as powerful as I would have liked.

See the pattern there?
That comment had me in a mindset I had to prove myself. It had me jumping through her hoops.

I feel the "sexual prove yourself" is the ultimate one: it's easy discarding proving yourself through money, favours etc, and it's a bit harder doing so for, say, intelligence.
But it's possibly the hardest ditching the "prove yourself" mindset when it comes to sex.

 

[Trader]

What's the underlying cause of your worry that you cannot satisfy her in the manner she indicated she wants you to?

 

[Grand Pooba]

The other day a girl I was with told me "she liked it hard".
I don't like it when women try to excite with blatant talk, so I slightly smiled and let her explain it more but dropped it soon after.

Some days later I wanted to call her but felt tired and was thinking maybe not that day as I wasn't gonna be as powerful as I would have liked.

See the pattern there?
That comment had me in a mindset I had to prove myself. It had me jumping through her hoops.

I feel the "sexual prove yourself" is the ultimate one: it's easy discarding proving yourself through money, favours etc, and it's a bit harder doing so for, say, intelligence.
But it's possibly the hardest ditching the "prove yourself" mindset when it comes to sex.

I honestly don't understand your post. But I will try...
It seems that you're taking what she said personally, like you can't hang out with her unless you can give it to her hard and jump through her hoops. It doesn't sound like she's saying you're not giving her what she wants, but perhaps context would be useful here. Was she talking in reference to you? Did she say good things about you in bed?

I've found when I'm in the prove myself mindset, I enjoy sex less and can't even get hard sometimes. Better to relax and just enjoy the sex (and give it to her hard in the process if you're up to it). Out-dominate her.

 

[lux7]

You didn't' understand, same as Trader because, well, I explained it like an idiot .

What I mean is that, with that sentence, she put me in a position where I felt like I had to prove myself.

That's nothing different than a girl saying "I like smart guys", and then the guy feels like he gotta show his smarts.
Or a girl saying while walking in front of a store "ohh I love those Gucci shoes", and the guy feeling like he needs to scramble the money to show her he can afford them.

Only... It's much muuuch more powerful because it goes to the core of what, for most men, it means to be a man: your dick.
That's what I meant by "last hurdle": if you can stay unaffected and don't feel like you need to prove yourself -or your manhood- in any similar scenario, then you're probably above most "prove thyself tricks" which can be thrown at you.