Friend zoned after sealing the deal

[Whizzy]

This is one I haven't encountered before and am wondering how best to respond to it. She told me she just wants to be friends since she doesn't know what she wants and that she isn't obsessed about me. Any work arounds to this?

 

[NarrowJ]

Hey, I had a similar situation a while back. Call her bluff, because that's likely what it is. And you mean "closed the deal" as in you two had sex, right?

Anyway, I had this happen a while back after I had sex with a girl on a first date. My problem was I messed up and she started to slot me as a boyfriend candidate and wanted to put me in situations where we would hang out, but I wouldn't get sex (ie, she knew she had to fix her image & start withholding sex after giving it to me so easily). Basically so I was "courting" her.

So, what I did was just cut her out. I stopped talking to her. She realized she wasn't going to win that one, so eventually she texted me wanting to hang out- and we did, and we had sex

Would love to hear more specifics on this one, though. It's hard to say what exactly could have happened. Do you have a field report up?


-NJ

 

[Whizzy]

That would work, although the issue here is that I want the relationship and she doesn't. She feels like a "slut" because everyone is telling her how fast it was and I'm not "the one". She mentioned a fwb thing last night then said she wasnt into that today so I'm fairly confused. If I can have sex with her again it would be easy, however with her trying to stay as friends only I'm not sure. I'm thinking sending her a text saying something along the lines of "I like your idea from last night " then seeing if she will roll with that.