Friends but not lovers

[Atlas]

Hey guys, I've been talking to a shit ton of girls lately and I've started talking to a lot in my school as well. I noticed a major difference between places like the mall or Starbucks and my school as you could imagine. I cant direct approach and I can't really use sexual frames too much in school and all the girls think I just want them as friends.

If I was trying to make friends with girls (which I have plenty of now) I would be very successful. Is there a way that I could let these girls know that I'm interested without being so direct? (Because being direct doesn't work, I've tried. I think it's a reputation and social image thing) it's pretty frustrating and I'd appreciate the help. Thanks in advance!

 

[Smith]

Is there a way that I could let these girls know that I'm interested without being so direct? (Because being direct doesn't work, I've tried. I think it's a reputation and social image thing)

With girls in your social circle, you can still be direct but just gotta do it discreetly, and don't get too close and "friendly" with the one you're interested.

 

[Atlas]

Thanks Smith! Those are some good points and I'm sure they'll help

 

[Whizzy]

Try making discreet sexual comments when alone with a girl. Getting her alone should be easy right?

 

[Atlas]

Hey Whizzy, thanks for the reply! Do you mean alone in school or alone at my house? Alone in school can get a little tricky because I'm in all AP classes and we don't stop in there so that's a no go. The hallways are always pretty packed so it actually would be a little difficult. The only thing I could think of is going to see her at her locker in the morning if that were the case. If you mean alone like at my house, I can't get girls to like me enough to come over my house because they just think we are friends. If you could clarify that would be helpful! Thanks

 

[Eternity]

"When there is a will, there is a way..." Before school, after school, library, meet you at the gym. So many possibilities man. Your place to "watch a movie", "smoke some weed", "hang out", "order a pizza", "after school ice cream", "In your car!!" Don't make it complicated for yourself man, shit is easy, just have to be creative.

 

[PinotNoir]

It took me a while from high school to college to get this right for girls that I couldn't get separated from groups. I ended up re-defining my mental model to be more of a risk taker, but not so risky that you cross the lines into a creep. Basically, I would just send flirtatious texts (or say this in person when others couldn't hear), but never ones that are too direct. Examples:

"I think you would look good in shorts."
"Ah, you just like seeing my legs "

Simple, and it doesn't even matter if she says "no" to it. You just have to change how you view yourself (and what you text/do) to slowly change how others view you.

A friend would say:
"I think you would look good in shorts."
"Cool, thanks! I think you look awesome in shorts."

A "creep" (really just a guy that she doesn't find sexual due to bad precedent, i.e., hasn't built himself up as sexual yet) would say:
"I think you would look good in shorts."
"Mmmm, I think I would look better without shorts "

The 3rd one will work for a girl that you have already had enough sexual comments with, but to say it out of the blue (without precedent/build-up) makes you into a creep. In fact, the 3rd one is perfectly fine with a girlfriend.

I think it's just about subtly and progressively switching how she views you, and as I've learned, this is why it's much better to meet a girl via cold approach and immediately begin with her viewing you as a future lover. Instead, when you start out as friends, you have to gradually change her view of you.

 

[Atlas]

Sorry it took so long to get back to you guys to thank uou but I've been swamped with finals and have been studying non stop the past few days and havemt had time to get back. Eternity, I agree with you, I guess I just need to stop being such a pussy. And PN, I'm really glad you pointed out the differences between a sexy guy, a friend and a creep because i was floating around all those levels at various times. I've actually started changing this and noticing some very nice results thanks a lot guys!