Friendships... even worth the hassle?

[Estate]

First off, I'll apologize for the rant but here goes...

I've probably mentioned a few times how it's difficult make real friendship when you're new to a city. Also, that of the friends I have made, they've been somewhat... difficult to say the least.
But I'm just at about breaking point with those I know.

I have a couple of guys I know as my core circle of friends. None of them are terribly successful with girls but I don't really care about that, I enjoy having someone to grab a beer with etc. However, they let it dominate every conversation. As they saw me have more luck with women over the past year or two it felt like a lot of jealousy crept in and it caused a lot of issues with them. I never pushed anything in their face, I just began talking to more women when we went out and having more success but it seemed to irk them.

They are the ultimate "white knights" when it comes to women. When they've complained about their women troubles I've tried offering some advice but it always fell on deaf ears so I even stopped that. But the jealousy never did. I get a lot of accusations of "cock-blocking", etc... though I just don't see it. If I approach any girl in their company they accuse me of having seen the girl firs or that "she was mine man!", etc, etc... though they did or said nothing to approach a girl, ever.

This weekend it just came to a head for me. We have some mutual friends, including some girls. Now, I make a very clear distinction between girls I am friends with and girls I will try to "pick up" but again, these guys don't care. On meeting a few of the girls the conversation steered to "where have a I been?".
"What do you mean?" I said.
"You never hang out with us anymore"
"You guys haven't been in touch" I said.
"<my "friend"> always says you're busy or out of town or don't want to hang out when we go out"
Me: "WHAAAAT?"

Basically, he's been going out with our mutual female friends white knighting them waiting for that magical day they will fall in love with them, and basically telling them I am never around and don't want to hang with them, while meeting up with them on the sly.

What an asshole.

I'm just about done. He's trying his luck with the girls and basically trying to talk me down and make sure I don't know of plans with friends because he thinks I'll hamper his white knighting efforts.

This guy was basically my "best" friend around here. I am just so done. What a tosspot. I don't even know why I bother anymore, I get more girls just going solo than rolling with this guy blowing us both out with his shitty social skills and anti-social behavior but I've stuck by him and always tried to help when he got down about women, life, etc... but he's basically trying to cut my social circle in half by talking shit behind my back to any women at all that we know.

Why even bother make an effort with people who are just out for themselves. I'm just so done right now, sorry for the rant.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Estate,

Nope. not worth the hassle. Here's something people don't tell. This is everyone including myself. People who have friends even quality people, only have about like ten friends or less.

See your past friends? Five friends whom they hang out from school

Bill Gates, or late Steve Jobs or even Warren Buffett? Only three of them tend to interact as same wavelength.

I have conduct research and popular people in high schools are just people who are quick to make friends early on and have value later. The perception that one guy is popular only stems from talking to people early and have value to sustain it over time. So, the whole world are so up on this social circle thing when in fact even high quality people have problems with asking friends to join them for birthdays. I have seen it myself.

It's freaks me out when i find this out firsthand that even "popular" people have problems with attracting people for their birthdays. I guess Darwin or that some guy was right. And Chase is right since he mention something like this. I guess even I leave Girlschase if there's no value or something i can relate to or probably something else that i want to pursue.

Zac

 

[Tim Iron]

use this as a learning experience...next time mercilessly screen out guys like this out of your life... know how to spot them and prevent yourself from getting close to them.

First off, I'll apologize for the rant but here goes...

I've probably mentioned a few times how it's difficult make real friendship when you're new to a city. Also, that of the friends I have made, they've been somewhat... difficult to say the least.
But I'm just at about breaking point with those I know.

I have a couple of guys I know as my core circle of friends. None of them are terribly successful with girls but I don't really care about that, I enjoy having someone to grab a beer with etc. However, they let it dominate every conversation. As they saw me have more luck with women over the past year or two it felt like a lot of jealousy crept in and it caused a lot of issues with them. I never pushed anything in their face, I just began talking to more women when we went out and having more success but it seemed to irk them.

They are the ultimate "white knights" when it comes to women. When they've complained about their women troubles I've tried offering some advice but it always fell on deaf ears so I even stopped that. But the jealousy never did. I get a lot of accusations of "cock-blocking", etc... though I just don't see it. If I approach any girl in their company they accuse me of having seen the girl firs or that "she was mine man!", etc, etc... though they did or said nothing to approach a girl, ever.

This weekend it just came to a head for me. We have some mutual friends, including some girls. Now, I make a very clear distinction between girls I am friends with and girls I will try to "pick up" but again, these guys don't care. On meeting a few of the girls the conversation steered to "where have a I been?".
"What do you mean?" I said.
"You never hang out with us anymore"
"You guys haven't been in touch" I said.
"<my "friend"> always says you're busy or out of town or don't want to hang out when we go out"
Me: "WHAAAAT?"

Basically, he's been going out with our mutual female friends white knighting them waiting for that magical day they will fall in love with them, and basically telling them I am never around and don't want to hang with them, while meeting up with them on the sly.

What an asshole.

I'm just about done. He's trying his luck with the girls and basically trying to talk me down and make sure I don't know of plans with friends because he thinks I'll hamper his white knighting efforts.

This guy was basically my "best" friend around here. I am just so done. What a tosspot. I don't even know why I bother anymore, I get more girls just going solo than rolling with this guy blowing us both out with his shitty social skills and anti-social behavior but I've stuck by him and always tried to help when he got down about women, life, etc... but he's basically trying to cut my social circle in half by talking shit behind my back to any women at all that we know.

Why even bother make an effort with people who are just out for themselves. I'm just so done right now, sorry for the rant.

 

[PinotNoir]

Yeah, I agree. These don't sound like true or good friends. I'd ditch them.

I've never had a guy friend purposely ruin an interaction between me and a girl, accidentally sure (I've done this too before, oops), but not on purpose.

I have had male acquaintances do this, and they invite me to hang out, and I just say I'm busy. I was talking to this girl once, and my guy "friend" (acquaintance) came over and said, "Hey man, hey man, she's married" (not married) and like pulled her away and started talking with her. Of course, he didn't end up in bed with her either that night, and I was kind of pissed so didn't feel like trying it again with that girl and started talking to other people.

Sure, you will have disagreements and fights with your friends sometimes. You and your friends might even do something every now and then that's bad, but if it's all the time and on purpose, then that's not a friendship -- not even close.

I say just get new friends, and if these guys ask you to hang out, just say you've got plans already or just want a quiet night in.

 

[Estate]

Yeah, this post was definitely just blowing off steam.
But I agree, if it was un-intentional or a once off I could get past it but I just see his tactics all the time and it's wearing so thin.

I've introduced him to a few women over the past year or so and he quickly does the same thing, gets the details and tries to hang with them as "friends".
I'm just pissed that it's not like it's girls I'm trying to hook up with. It's that he's messing with my other friends and making me look bad or be excluded because he's trying to get them alone or for himself... but he just does this "we're hanging out as friends" thing with them and they are never interested, they think they are just hanging as friends and I'm beig a douche by not showing up... but to him, he thinks he has it all figured out to make them fall for him.

I'm pissed because he's deliberately trying to get me excluded from my social circle for his own gain.
I wouldn't even mind if he DID get with any of the girls, but it's his methods of going about it is what's so creepy and nasty. I'm tired of it.



This seems to be a big barrier with making friends with guys.
Most guys suck with women and if you do too, they are cool with that, but they get shitty with you if you seem to meet more women.
Meeting friends who are actually good with women, are few and far between to find.

And the weird thing is... I don't care if they are good or not. Friends are people I hang with, it's not all about picking up women. But guys who are poor with women seem to let it dominate their every thought and conversation and it's draining as they are unwilling to work on improving.

 

[PinotNoir]

Maybe it's just the area you live or where you're finding friends haha. I have friends that are awful with women, but they don't do such lowly-malicious things. They can even be good wingmen haha. I will hear complaints of course, and I try to discuss it, but it's a losing battle for me, about things that are "unfair" about X or Y thing.

One of my friends that used to be horrible with girls is now killing it on Tinder. It's the only thing he uses to find women. My "Tinder Game" is awful; I barely get matches. I also hate going on there because there are so few Asian women, but he has this bad ass pic of himself holding a gun (professionally done with good lighting), and because I live in the South, I guess girls just eat that shit up. The dates don't really go anywhere for him, but at least he's happier now and doesn't complain as much.

I still complain about somethings, but I realize that it's my job to do something about it and to not be a victim.

This guy just sounds malicious and heavy victim-mentality and manipulative.

I think you can find plenty of goods friends that aren't good with women. I've also had friends that are good with women that aren't really that good of friends because we virtually never hang out because they're off having sex all the time haha.

I don't think their seduction skills matter. Their Character is what matters, what kind of person they are and their views, and if they have negative views, can it be changed with a discussion and experience, etc.